Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

Why do you visit my blog?  There are no toddlers here for you to stalk…

But I see your confirmation bias is showing, as is your singular talent for manipulating naïves into fighting the battles you lack the spine to fight yourself.

Sack up and come at me.  Or whine at your bitches from under the porch.

Or maybe just do a little dance.



Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

And weren’t you up into the wee hours howling at the unfairness of it all?!?
image Oh, I’m sorry…I think I must have forgotten to mention the poisoned, barbed corkscrew.image Yeah, you really want to get an idiot like that disqualified and replaced with a competent cutthroat attorney who will yank your heart out of your chest and use it parboil his bratwurst.  Good call, DUMBFUCK.  Especially since you, me and the whole world know you don’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell of getting it done anyway, and the Worst Lawyer in the World is giving you the legal beatdown of your about-to-end pro se career.
image Yup, poor little Sarah Palmer, YET ANOTHER weak little icky, female type GIRL who has kicked your pathetic ass around a courtroom.
image What a damn shame you weren’t there to contradict her at the appropriate time set by the court to do so.  You really woulda showed her, right?image Dude – what happened?  You had a nice shouty flow working there with your ALL CAPS style, and that lower case ‘t’ slipped in and ruined the whole thing!

I deduct 10 style points.image Now that’s better!  You have to make sure the CAPS LOCK stays LOCKED if you want that hateflow to really stand out.image And speaking of “LIAR! PERJURER!” you don’t even remember what it is you’re lying about right here, do you?  Of course you don’t.

Because you’re a DUMBFUCK.
image But you do threaten people, DUMBFUCK. And there are photos of YOU on the Internet – posted by YOU – pointing what looks like a loaded weapon through the paper thin walls of your former showplace tincasa at GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT on the other side of that wall. Your finger was ON THE TRIGGER.

Aren’t you the guy who took a photo of WJJ Hoge IV cleaning a disassembled pistol and stoked it up into a DEATH THREAT!1!1ELEVENTY!11!!?

And you seem just about as clinically insane as it is possible to get.

What is an ordinary, reasonable, sane person supposed to conclude?

Oh, wait…how would you know?

image Just because they never picked up the phone?  Weak.image Yes.  You did.  Are you trying to claim that placing before the public the medical details of a third party is somehow a fair, ethical and reasonable act, especially when it is in violation of a valid, documented cease and desist order?

And if so, why does it so upset you that Aaron Walker placed in evidence before the court YOUR OWN CONFESSION that you are indeed demented?

Rules for thee but not for me?

Sorry, but Bill Schmalfeldt’s Accurate Reflection don’t play that game.
image Yes, that’s exactly what you did, oh great unemployable GS-13 writer editor.  Can you say “probable provable admission against interest?”

I knew that you could.
image Ask your attorney Johnnie Walker, Esq. to explain the First Amendment to you, in really small words.  Then, Shut off the Internet and go home, DUMBFUCK.  You’re drunk.image That may be true, but grouped among stupid women you HAVE met, poor stupid Sarah Palmer would rank no higher than fourth.

You have been married three times, if I’m not mistaken?


“We’ll see how the lawsuit goes.”

DUMBFUCK to English translation: “Oh my God, when did that giant brick wall jump out in front the Scooty Puff of DOOM (It’s red. Vroom! VROOM!!)?

That’s right, DUMBFUCK! Your pathetic lawsuit is doomed.  As predicted on the day you filed it, fatal flaws exposed, its very lifeblood rushing away in torrents from the cuts opened by The Worst Lawyer in the World.

Theres nothing you can do to save it. You know it. I know it. SuperParaLegal John Hoge knows it. Sarah Palmer knows it. Eric Johnson knows it. Brett Kimberlin knows it.

This was an outstanding little rage-and-alcohol fueled Feldtdown.  Thank you so much!

You are an idiot, and your own actions expose you.

We are merely bystanders, here to point and laugh at the spectacle that you, in your infinite ignorance and hubris, continue to provide and refuse to acknowledge.

And the FUN continues…


ECF 24 – Motion to Supplement on PACER

There’s also a Motion for Summary Judgment, which seems a little premature, but then I hear that’s always been a problem for DUMBFUCK…

There may be a few…uh…transcription errors! Yeah!  in this version of the pleading.



Ladies and Gentlemen

I give you the definitive example of the weeping vagina:


Schmalfeldt, you are the biggest fucking pussy in the entire universe.  I’m surprised you haven’t turned inside out and swallowed yourself by now.

The way you regard John Hoge, “paralegal” is the way the rest of the world regards Bill Schmalfeldt, “decent member of humanity.”

You need a punch in the throat more than anyone who has ever lived.

And before you finish your nightly bottle of Johnnie Walker and pass out in front of the toilet again tonight, the post will have more comments and likes than your entire blog.

Go beg some of your friends to come visit, you infected buttpimple.


Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

Seriously. After what you and your excellent but loosely connected (between the ears) friends did to him, tell me what right or expectation you have to know who employs Aaron Walker?

And keep in mind, whatever right you invoke to justify your obvious desire to contact Aaron Walker’s current employers to share whatever you believe to be his past misdeeds, I have the same right to contact Cardinal Management for the exact same purpose in your regard.

If you tell me why you deserve the answer you seek (I know you won’t, you gutless worm turd), I will be sure to share your reasoning with the lovely and talented Cindy when you force me to call her.

Don’t like it?  Sue me.

Oh. Wait… 


OK Folks…Get To Stretching!


WHOOMP!  There it is!

There are new LULZ on PACER from the Dreadful pro se Schmalfeldt.

REMEMBER:  no whining allowed.  Only Pointage, Laughery and Mockification.  Preferably it should be CLEARLY MARKED AS SUCH so as not to confuse the poor pro se monkey.  For instance, what follows here is Mockification.


The big fun happens at paragraph 26:

26.  Statements made about Kimberlin in Walker’s Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven of the exhibits attached to Walker’s opposition are not germane to this case and by right should be ignored by the Court.

27.  Statements made about Kimberlin in Walker’s Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven of the exhibits attached to Walker’s opposition are not germane to this case and by right should be ignored by the Court.

28.  Statements made about Kimberlin in the Johnnie Walker Red Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven empty fifths in the Plaintiff’s kitchen wastebasket are not true German Dirty Schnitzel by right should be imbibed by the Court.

29.  Statements made about Jack Daniels being a dull boy because all he does is work at repeating paragraphs 26-32, and the Plaintiff’s creepy attachment to Kimberlin’s backside like a remora on a shark have nothing to do with elephants and are thus irrelephant to this case and by left should be ignored by the Court because if four repetitions of the same paragraph haven’t convinced the Court that I am a Dreadful Pro Se and the rules and procedures of this Court frighten and confuse me, maybe five will. Is anyone else getting a pro bono right now?

30.  All plays are dull and Jack has to work its way into paragraphs 26-32, and I’m not playing around, boy!

31.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

32.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

UPDATE – Judge Joseph has reacted to the latest filings by the Dreadful pro se:


Good Afternoon, Pro Se DUMBFUCK!

I feel so negligent at Knot having asked this very pertinent question previously:

Given DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt’s reasonably newly-minted status as a resident of Wisconsin, I wonder why, for this most recent and thus far most LULZY of LULZSuits, he has not retained the services of the heroic Oshkosh attorney Kathleen Fagin Diedrich?

After all, she was once a hero and a valuable if quickly burned source for his phony-baloney internet incestigative Jewmolest shenanigans.

Perhaps the long term memory got too joggled when the back of his head got stove in per that fine picture in his Twitter banner?  Or maybe the brain-rotting qualities of excess amounts of WalMart brand mayonnaise took a similar toll.

We may never know why he doesn’t remember his attorney pal from Oshkosh, nor why the DUMB BASTARD didn’t hire her (except we all can separately answer that in one), but I think we can probably understand why he might have tried and failed.

He has already admitted that his reputation is ruined beyond saving (or words to that effect); Google is not DUMBFUCK’S friend.

Or maybe she already has a gig.


Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!​

Wait…uh, WHAT?

You have a disability?  

Why have I not heard about this before?

Please do tell!  Tell all about this disability you have, and tell of all the challenges you have overcome. 

Tell us about your trick knee that you injured getting kicked up a ladder by you shipmates in the Navy, you malingering goldbrick.

Tell of what great achievements you have accomplished in spite of being totally wheelchair bound (it’s a matter of public record before a federal judge – as being completely irrelevant to your most excellent but loosely connected friend’s legal case.

And by the way, are you “loosely connected” in the way that Carl DeLong’s leg was after the bomb that your most excellent friend left it that high school Parking lot exploded, or is that “loose connection” more like your deteriorating grasp on reality?

Remember back to the good old days when you were so “100% disabled” that you couldn’t leave the tincasa, and instead left all the outside errands, right down to the mailing of all your previous ridiculous lawsuits to your terminally ill soulmate?  Remember how her illness didn’t mean dick to you until she finally reached the point of no return and you proceeded to weaponize her like the World’s Biggest Gamma you are?

Oh please, DUMBFUCK!  Do let’s talk all about disabilities.

You talk about Aaron Walker and how his disability kept him from being the greatest sailor ever and forced him to settle for being an IVY LEAGUE LAWYER.

We’ll talk about how your disability kept you from getting your fat ass off the internet and forced you to become one of the preeminent cyberstalkers in the United States.



Sounds like FUN to me.