ECF 24 – Motion to Supplement on PACER

There’s also a Motion for Summary Judgment, which seems a little premature, but then I hear that’s always been a problem for DUMBFUCK…

There may be a few…uh…transcription errors! Yeah!  in this version of the pleading.



Ladies and Gentlemen

I give you the definitive example of the weeping vagina:


Schmalfeldt, you are the biggest fucking pussy in the entire universe.  I’m surprised you haven’t turned inside out and swallowed yourself by now.

The way you regard John Hoge, “paralegal” is the way the rest of the world regards Bill Schmalfeldt, “decent member of humanity.”

You need a punch in the throat more than anyone who has ever lived.

And before you finish your nightly bottle of Johnnie Walker and pass out in front of the toilet again tonight, the post will have more comments and likes than your entire blog.

Go beg some of your friends to come visit, you infected buttpimple.


Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

Seriously. After what you and your excellent but loosely connected (between the ears) friends did to him, tell me what right or expectation you have to know who employs Aaron Walker?

And keep in mind, whatever right you invoke to justify your obvious desire to contact Aaron Walker’s current employers to share whatever you believe to be his past misdeeds, I have the same right to contact Cardinal Management for the exact same purpose in your regard.

If you tell me why you deserve the answer you seek (I know you won’t, you gutless worm turd), I will be sure to share your reasoning with the lovely and talented Cindy when you force me to call her.

Don’t like it?  Sue me.

Oh. Wait… 


OK Folks…Get To Stretching!


WHOOMP!  There it is!

There are new LULZ on PACER from the Dreadful pro se Schmalfeldt.

REMEMBER:  no whining allowed.  Only Pointage, Laughery and Mockification.  Preferably it should be CLEARLY MARKED AS SUCH so as not to confuse the poor pro se monkey.  For instance, what follows here is Mockification.


The big fun happens at paragraph 26:

26.  Statements made about Kimberlin in Walker’s Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven of the exhibits attached to Walker’s opposition are not germane to this case and by right should be ignored by the Court.

27.  Statements made about Kimberlin in Walker’s Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven of the exhibits attached to Walker’s opposition are not germane to this case and by right should be ignored by the Court.

28.  Statements made about Kimberlin in the Johnnie Walker Red Opposition, paragraphs 26-32, and seven empty fifths in the Plaintiff’s kitchen wastebasket are not true German Dirty Schnitzel by right should be imbibed by the Court.

29.  Statements made about Jack Daniels being a dull boy because all he does is work at repeating paragraphs 26-32, and the Plaintiff’s creepy attachment to Kimberlin’s backside like a remora on a shark have nothing to do with elephants and are thus irrelephant to this case and by left should be ignored by the Court because if four repetitions of the same paragraph haven’t convinced the Court that I am a Dreadful Pro Se and the rules and procedures of this Court frighten and confuse me, maybe five will. Is anyone else getting a pro bono right now?

30.  All plays are dull and Jack has to work its way into paragraphs 26-32, and I’m not playing around, boy!

31.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

32.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

UPDATE – Judge Joseph has reacted to the latest filings by the Dreadful pro se:


Good Afternoon, Pro Se DUMBFUCK!

I feel so negligent at Knot having asked this very pertinent question previously:

Given DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt’s reasonably newly-minted status as a resident of Wisconsin, I wonder why, for this most recent and thus far most LULZY of LULZSuits, he has not retained the services of the heroic Oshkosh attorney Kathleen Fagin Diedrich?

After all, she was once a hero and a valuable if quickly burned source for his phony-baloney internet incestigative Jewmolest shenanigans.

Perhaps the long term memory got too joggled when the back of his head got stove in per that fine picture in his Twitter banner?  Or maybe the brain-rotting qualities of excess amounts of WalMart brand mayonnaise took a similar toll.

We may never know why he doesn’t remember his attorney pal from Oshkosh, nor why the DUMB BASTARD didn’t hire her (except we all can separately answer that in one), but I think we can probably understand why he might have tried and failed.

He has already admitted that his reputation is ruined beyond saving (or words to that effect); Google is not DUMBFUCK’S friend.

Or maybe she already has a gig.


Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!​

Wait…uh, WHAT?

You have a disability?  

Why have I not heard about this before?

Please do tell!  Tell all about this disability you have, and tell of all the challenges you have overcome. 

Tell us about your trick knee that you injured getting kicked up a ladder by you shipmates in the Navy, you malingering goldbrick.

Tell of what great achievements you have accomplished in spite of being totally wheelchair bound (it’s a matter of public record before a federal judge – as being completely irrelevant to your most excellent but loosely connected friend’s legal case.

And by the way, are you “loosely connected” in the way that Carl DeLong’s leg was after the bomb that your most excellent friend left it that high school Parking lot exploded, or is that “loose connection” more like your deteriorating grasp on reality?

Remember back to the good old days when you were so “100% disabled” that you couldn’t leave the tincasa, and instead left all the outside errands, right down to the mailing of all your previous ridiculous lawsuits to your terminally ill soulmate?  Remember how her illness didn’t mean dick to you until she finally reached the point of no return and you proceeded to weaponize her like the World’s Biggest Gamma you are?

Oh please, DUMBFUCK!  Do let’s talk all about disabilities.

You talk about Aaron Walker and how his disability kept him from being the greatest sailor ever and forced him to settle for being an IVY LEAGUE LAWYER.

We’ll talk about how your disability kept you from getting your fat ass off the internet and forced you to become one of the preeminent cyberstalkers in the United States.



Sounds like FUN to me.


Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

So, Bill – when Brett Kimberlin’s nuts bounce off your multiple chins, does he make you wear the schoolgirl outfit AND the wig?

Or is the wig optional?

Let this be the official welcome to the INTERNATIONAL, WORLDWIDE Zombie Horde!