Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!


I can’t wait until we get to the one about the Japanese hookers!

…and Hell’s Kitchen Kate.  That was during the Blind Date Soulmate Era, if I’m not mistaken?

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How Heartwarming

I tracked down all of DUMBFUCK’S kids (the ones he fathered AND the ones he didn’t), and offered them free trips to Bermuda if they would only gather together for a group photo to show how much they love him.

Here’s what the photographer delivered: TheFam

I think it could use an appropriate caption…

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Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!


Someone has shown recently that he had no idea how to properly execute a fisking.

School is in.

Dole?

Absolutely. Observe:

Social Security is a DOLE?

Is it “1. a portion or allotment of money, food, etc., especially as given at regular intervals by a charity or for maintenance?”

It is?

Then YES.

It’s a DOLE.

Vets benefits a DOLE?

Is it “1. a portion or allotment of money, food, etc., especially as given at regular intervals by a charity or for maintenance?”

It is?

Then YES.

It’s a DOLE.

Disability retirement a DOLE?

Is it “4. any similar payment by a government to an unemployed person?”

It is?

Then YES.

It’s a DOLE.

Face it, DUMBFUCK: you are a prime sucker of government tit, and a complete waste of tax dollars.  In the utopian society your pal Bernie Sanders imagines, you would long ago have been taken off to the farm to play all day with all the other happy animals. (It’s a euphemism.)

Oh, @paulzkrendler. I make more than YOU do.

I can only assume that you’re referring to what you make in your didies.  Otherwise it ain’t true.  Because you wouldn’t have filed LOLSuit V as a pauper, now would ya? Not unless you’re a lying shitbag who got caught out by a retired Alaska lawyer and fled the state like a fucking pussy to avoid that fallout.

Nah.  Couldn’t be.  Because you make more than I do.

An admission I’m sure WJJ Hoge III is going to enjoy using against you.

GET 2 WORK.

Where do you think I am, DUMBFUCK?  Right here, in my office. At my job. Which I have. Despite your very best efforts.

Because “Google Bill Schmalfeldt” works wonders.

Dance, monkey.

monkey_dance

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OHNOEZ! Mah Photoshopz Iz Week!

But at least everyone who sees them know what the message is.

If only a DUMBFUCK writer-editor with 30 years of experience could write-edit so well even half the time.

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Congratulations, DUMBFUCK!

Apparently someone has figured out how to keep everyone from reading his blog.

Now only Mark in MD can read him.

Maybe Bunny Boy.  Wee Willie the Mook.

If they accepted his invitation. A dubious proposition at best.

But don’t worry.  The brief joy of hiding under the porch from everyone whose sites he visits stalks looking for butthurt (even though he has to work around a one-user ban in some cases) will soon wear off…

And he’ll get bored…

And lonely…

Because he has no friends…

And no one wants anything to do with him except the voices in the clouds…

And when he can no longer bear the isolation, he’ll be back!

Because he always comes back. He has nothing else. His butthurt is everything to him.

So…I think he’ll pop back out about this time tomorrow.

Until then, just enjoy the temporary black hole in the universe of web stupidity.

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Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!

Hey, Don Quixote, I was just curious…do you have a progress report on your latest mission to get some poor woman fired for the naughty pictures you sent yourself?

HAHAHAHAHA  gasp  HAHAHAHAHA

Have you brought down that windmill yet?

Yesterday your pedobomber pal clearly surpassed you in filing a federal LOLSuit dripping with much more insanity than you usually bring to the party…on the other hand you clearly have some work to do to reach his level of unfairly getting someone terminated.

Is the pressure to perform grinding on ya, or are you just too busy making mud pies in your shorts?

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A Reminder of How Wars End

Capture

Every time.

EVERY. TIME.

This terrorist-jock-sniffing DUMBFUCK files a lawsuit, an instant loser, apparent to any reasonable observer.

He crows about owning cars, houses, ALL THE THINGS!!!

And the defendants simply play by the rules defined rather than the rules he wants.

And he stomps his jimmies.

Every time.

EVERY. TIME.

And when the moment comes around, as it always does, when he can no longer deny the reality of his failure and he realizes that he must find that impossible path of escape from his own foolishness…

Someone tells him how.

Pay. Apologize. Change.

It’s the only way.

And he says, “They want me to eat a big bowl of shit.”

Yes.  Exactly.

It’s his own shit.  He built that.  Of course he should eat it.  He probably won’t change his ways even if he did, but if he doesn’t there’s no possible way.

And he says no.

Every time.

EVERY. TIME.

“I won’t change until you leave me alone,” he says. “I’m just going to keep stalking toddlers and threatening families and collecting restraining orders until you stop saying mean things about me. Because journalism.”

But we tried that.  More than once.  He doesn’t make threats, he makes promises.  Sometimes he even signs a contract.

And then he breaks those promises.  Because

PARKINSONS! EXECUTIVE FUNCTION! IMPULSE CONTROL! MAYONNAISE!

There’s a reason that everyone here knows that his harassment of others will not end until he can no longer interact with the internet.

He’s an Internet Crack Whore.  The Amy Winehouse of the World Wide Web, only with no discernible talent. (disclaimer: Joke. Insult. Protected Speech. Fuck off.)

As the sign says, If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.

Every time.

EVERY. TIME.

He doesn’t get that no one is afraid of him.

He doesn’t get that in his new situation, he has a lot more to lose than any of his perceived adversaries, and a lot more talent arrayed against him to make it happen.

A LOT MORE.

If the alternative to losing everything involves parting with some money and some dignity that he never had to begin with, plus a figurative appointment with a bowl and spoon, well…

He should take his own advice:

“If you have to eat shit, best not to nibble. Bite, chew, swallow, repeat. It goes quicker.”

And the nice thing is he doesn’t even have to wash the spoon first.


TO THE DEFENSE TEAM: DUMBFUCK LACKS THE RESOURCES TO WIN AND THE SELF-AWARENESS TO SURRENDER. SO BE IT. PLEASE DON’T LET HIM ESCAPE THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS BAD ACTS THIS TIME.

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