Category: BUTTHURT

Self-Awareness Fail in Three Parts

Part One:

If Bill Schmalfeldt possesses even a single mote of self-awareness, then he must know that he has no soul.

Part Two:

If Bill Schmalfeldt possesses even one atom of self awareness, then his black tongue would have rotted and dropped out of his skull decades ago. We already know this lying piece of shit doesn’t believe in a Supreme Being (except maybe Diana Ross), and like the Devil (maybe “like” isn’t quite nearly on the nose as another word, but let’s go with it) he only quotes Scripture for his own purposes, and very poorly at that.

Part Three:

As Bill Schmalfeldt has often asked his untouchable adversaries while trying his many LOLSUITS in Twitter Court: “Who do you think a judge is going to believe?”

In order of credibility, it goes:

  • Sarah Huckabee Sanders
  • O.J. Simpson
  • James Comey
  • The Mainstream Media
  • Baron von Munchausen
  • Donald Trump
  • Maxine Waters
  • Pinocchio
  • Hillary Clinton
  • John Brennan
  • James Clapper
  • Ben Rhodes
  • Susan Rice
  • Joe Isuzu
  • Donna Brazile
  • The Boy Who Cried Wolf
  • Dan Rather
  • (reader’s choice)
  • (reader’s choice)
  • (reader’s choice)
  • (reader’s choice)
  • (reader’s choice)
  • all three-year-old children on Earth
  • Bill Schmalfeldt

Schmalfeldt has failed.
Schmalfeldt has failed.
Schmalfeldt has failed.

What can he do? Sue me?

Yes, please.

 

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A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt, disease faker, multiply adjudicated harasser and stalker, vexatious litigant, serial doxxer of complete strangers, Great White Butthurt Hunter and lying, sexist, racist, bigoted, anti-Semitic motherfucker, pontificates on the instinct for self-preservation…

I suppose if we consider “FLEEING ACROSS THE COUNTRY LIKE A COWARD MULTIPLE TIMES TO ESCAPE THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS BAD ACTS” an instinct for self-preservation, he might be considered an expert.

Unfortunately, he lacks the good sense to STAY UNDER THE FUCKING PORCH.

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Daddy Hoge Wants Me To Ask…

What is your mailing address, DUMBFUCK?

In order to be certain that what he has to say reaches its intended destination without any ability to claim that it was unintentionally or intentionally “lost” in cyberspace or meatspace, he would prefer to communicate with you via Certified Mail, Restricted Delivery, Return Receipt Requested only.

To avoid confusion.

Be a man and answer me directly.

Where can Your Daddy Hoge find you?

Quit sucking your thumb, be a man and answer me directly.

And before you deflect, and ask me what MY address is, just keep in mind that I am merely a neutral go-between in this little conflict…an interested observer, shall we say?

And besides, you seem to believe with all your heart that you already know my address. Actions speak louder than words, so step right up and prove it, O Talker of Big Game From Under The Porch.

Stop idly fondling your empty nutsack, be a man and answer me directly.

I’ll even give you a DOOM CLOCK like you gave Sonoran Conservative. Since we all know already that you’re a racist, sexist, bigoted, anti-Semitic, terrorist-sympathizing, hateful, lying weeping pussy faker, I’ll give you until Close of Business YESTERDAY to prove otherwise.

Oops.

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Ladies & Gents, the Comedy Genius of Bill Schmalfeldt

It’s Comedy 101, DUMBFUCK:

NEVER EXPLAIN THE JOKE.

Especially when it’s someone else’s joke.

DUMBFUCK.

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I Confess Myself Curious

…in an historical sense.

The Jovial One, aka @BroadwayBill_XM, aka (by his own admission) “Original Program Director for XM Satellite Radio’s “On Broadway” Channel,” real name Bill Schmalfeldt, latest of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, has a long, storied history as a failed litigator. It’s exponentially worse, frankly speaking, when one stops to consider how many empty threats he has made that were never followed up on.

So I’m simply curious…

Can anyone point to an earlier failure than this threat to have someone put away over the copyright to a logo that he didn’t even own?

Wotta DUMBFUCK.

Roll on, karma train.

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You Know What’s Funny?

From last night’s Feldtdown:

The fact that he’s looking at a post that’s five months old? Sorta funny.

The fact that he still thinks I’m Patrick Grady? Definitely funny.

But the truly, gut-bustingly hilarious thing?

In his own Tweet, he curbstomps himself.

This could only be true, because if it was fake no one would believe it.

Thanks, DUMBFUCK!

 

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Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

Could you please make up your fucking mind, you diseased piece of shit?

First, over on Amazon before your replies were deleted (will you ever find an excuse NOT to make it personal, DUMBFUCK? I swear to God, you’re easier to push than a Slinky on a stairway.), it was first Doug and then  @mayberryville who “sent false defamatory information about me to which caused them to rescind an offered-and-accepted job”

Now, you’re sure it’s @penllyn over on GAB who is responsible.

Tomorrow it will be someone else. And after that you can spend seven billion days accusing every man, woman and child on Earth until at last you circle back to the culprit in your mirror.

Everyone knows you’re  complete liar, even your once-and-never employer, and no one sent KDSN anything except maybe an invitation to play seek and find on the Twitterz.

I, on the other hand, am Spartacus.

Due diligence is a bitch for an adjudicated cyberstalker, ain’t it just?

Pro tip: Butthurt is not a tort in Iowa, either. When you’re done researching “detrimental reliance” case law (who am I kidding? You found something you liked at quit reading, like you always do!), try this on for size:

“Is Iowa an ’employment at will’ state, and what does ’employment at will’ mean?”

Then, by all means (Please, oh dear God, please let this happen!) go file LOLSUIT IX – Yeast Infection.

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Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

Hey, look at my “new” book!

The cover art was stolen from this book…

But never mind that, review my book!!

Never mind the bad reviews, just buy the book. You can’t trust those bad reviews, even if there is no other kind. They’re all liars, I’ve deleted almost all of the evidence of what they’re talking about, as far as I know.

Just buy the book, trust me. You’ll wish you hadn’t, but there’s a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red calling to me. And I’m in the mood to buy and abandon Scootypuff #3.

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Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

How is it that a DUMBFUCK like yourself, who just ten short days ago was on his way to North Dakota…

…suddenly swerved into Iowa and instantly became an overbearing, pretentious, crude, anti-Semitic, woman-hating, poop-loving, Cub Scout obsessed, lying, racist expert on Iowa politics without even having established residency?

Of course, you’re an expert in EVERYTHING, judging by the way you were already spouting on #returntonodak politics before you even left the Inflat-a-skank behind forever in South Carolina, having failed to separate her from family the way you did Captive Nurse 1.0.

Say, how bad did you screw over that North Dakota newspaper anyway, you fickle, worthless sack of pig vomit?

Dunning-Kruger is a helluva drug!

Looking forward to the day in May when KDSN wishes you into the radio cornfield…though I’m sure the papers will be served before that happens.

KDSN Radio
1530 Ridge Road
Denison, Iowa 51442
Phone: 712.263.3141
Fax: 712.263.2088		 Office Hours:
Monday – Friday 8:00 AM – 5:00 PM
Saturday 8:00 AM – 12:00 Noon

 

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Did He Tell Them He’s CRIPPLED With Sinusoidal Fakinson’s Dizeeze?

Given the tight schedule there in Denison (closer than Clinton, for some people, anyway)…

I don’t see how he’s going to get a word in edgewise, with all this pre-programmed network content.

Might be fun to hear a DUMBFUCK grapple with a Mike Huckabee commentary in real-time.  Don’t they kind of like Huckabee in the Iowa sticks?

He won’t make it a day before he’s insulting Sarah Huckabee Sanders. That should juice those ratings right up!

And GOSH! Who would have ever thought he’d ever have an actual, publicly available workplace address where he could be served legal papers and such!

And that he’d be stupid enough to say enough about it that a first grader could figure out exactly where he is?

I mean, besides everyone on Earth…

I’ll bet you can call an Uber driver, tip him $10, and he’ll be your private investigator and process server in one neat little package!

Also worth noting: if you, or anyone you know, has hard copies of various restraining orders, peace orders, criminal charging documents, trial transcripts, archived blog posts, salacious legal filings containing humorous yet damaging admissions against interest, or anything else of this general sort…

There’s a fax machine at the radio station for your convenience:

Just sayin’.

Publicly available information and whatnot…

KDSN Radio
 1530 Ridge Road
Denison, Iowa 51442
Phone: 712.263.3141
Fax: 712.263.2088

 

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