Less Than Twelve Hours This Time!

9:20 PM PST…

…to 9:01 AM PST.

Apparently “withdraw[ing] from public view” suits him about as well as does “self awareness,” “telling the truth,” “being a real journalist,” “not stalking and harassing people” and “having Parkinson’s disease.”

He just can’t make it stick.

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Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes?

Of course DUMBFUCK wants to argue that the PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE of Al Franken feeling up a sleeping woman (she consented, though, I’m sure) isn’t REALLY what it looks like.

But then there’s also this:

"On the day of the show Franken and I were alone backstage going over our lines one last time. He said to me, 'We need to rehearse the kiss.' I laughed and ignored him. Then he said it again. I said something like, 'Relax Al, this isn’t 'SNL' ... we don't need to rehearse the kiss.' He continued to insist, and I was beginning to get uncomfortable," she wrote in her KABC piece.

She said that she acquiesced "so that he would stop badgering me" and that when he kissed her, he "put his hand on the back of my head, mashed his lips against mine and aggressively stuck his tongue in my mouth."

So you have, in the last week, a whole armload of forty year old accusations against a former federal judge now running for Senate, based entirely on “press conference” testimony  that can be neither confirmed nor refuted after all this time.

Now, if I know my DUMBFUCK as well as I think I do, the next words out of his chomp hole about soon to be ex-Senator Franken will be along the lines of “Prove it,” “There’s no proof,” “It’s his word against his,” or “until I hear different, she’s lying.”

Well, the proof you seek, oh intrepid investigamative journimalist, is out there if you could just get up off your well-fed hiney and stop waiting for the source to come to you.  Get out there, Scoop (of poop) Schmalfeldt, and do some real reporting for once.

In fact, let me point you in the right direction – the proof of truth of Ms. Tweeden’s accusations exists in two places: the photograph you tweeted, and in the hidden drawer right next to the verified evidence of truth spoken by the women that the **** Party paid to level the accusations at Judge Moore in the first place.

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The Leading Cause of Loveless Marriages in the U.S.?

OBAMACARE.

It looks like there’s a balloon animal in South Carolina that can’t afford health insurance under Obamacare anymore.

Actually, it reads very much like xhe couldn’t afford it in the first place. “Thank you for making it impossible for me to afford to get insurance by cutting off the subsidies.”

Guess what?

If you can’t afford something without someone else’s help to pay for it, YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT!

I guess xhe will have to find some other way to afford the insurance to fix that vandalized cemetery of a pecker wrecker xhe calls a mouth, and whatever other maladies might plague xer.

I know!  Maybe xhe could find some sap and convince him to marry xer to get on xis health insurance. It would take a real idiot to fall for such an obvious scam, though.

But even if xe did marry xer, the scam would only work if xe wasn’t a pauper and a cheapskate who would rather burn xis money on cheapjack scootypuffs than take care of xis plasticene playmate.

So remember – make good choices!

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Hey, While We’re Giving Out Free Advice…

I’m not telling anyone what to do. But it seems to me that if I had

  • lost a lawsuit by voluntarily dismissing it because THE STRESS IS GOING TO KILL ME!!! (after bragging about certain victory);
  • lost a counterclaim lawsuit because I couldn’t find or serve the counterclaim defendants prior to dismissal with prejudice (after bragging about certain victory);
  • lost a third lawsuit because I don’t understand personal jurisdiction (after bragging about certain victory);
  • lost a fourth lawsuit because I couldn’t figure out how to serve the defendants (after bragging about certain victory);
  • lost a fifth lawsuit because I voluntarily dismissed it – WITH PREJUDICE! – because I had to run away from my perjured IFP application and the sanctions sought by the retired lawyer I sued (after bragging about certain victory);
  • lost a sixth lawsuit because I STILL don’t understand personal jurisdiction as well as the “Worst Lawyer in the World”™ (after bragging about certain victory);
  • filed a seventh lawsuit that was so facially without merit that a court appointed lawyer dumped me as a client, had a nervous breakdown, quit the legal profession and now works in a car wash (after bragging about certain victory);
  • filed an eighth lawsuit that will also be dismissed because I STILL don’t understand personal jurisdiction (even as I continue bragging about certain victory)…

…and if I were also a sycophant and ass-licking nut sniffer of a convicted bomber, drug dealer and forger who also happens to be an adjudicated pedophile…
…and if I were also a retired GS-13 writer editor who can neither write nor edit as well as the average 13 year old boy who has never seen a pencil…
…and if I were also a self-styled “investigative journalist of over thirty years experience” only if being a truck driver and a podunk deejay for 18 months in a market count as investigative journalism…
…and if I were also a multimedia moron who can’t seem to keep a single blog or Twitter name for more than forty days before saying something so dumb and self-incriminating it makes more sense to blow it all up and start over than to explain my idiocy…
…and if I were also a self-styled sufferer of “Parkinson’s disease” merely because I was once in the control group of a clinical study that I got kicked out of and I’ve been trying to parlay a fake disability into Progressive political street cred even though I never seems to actually get any worse…
…and if I were also a serial liar who had been caught out not dozens but HUNDREDS of times in my lies…
…and if I were also an adjudicated cyberharasser and cyberstalker with over a dozen orders of restraint to my name in half a dozen states, even though in each and every single case I BRAGGED OF CERTAIN VICTORY…
…and if I were also a man who produces, performs, broadcasts and sells audio skits depicting minors in sexual activities with adults in pornographic detail…
…and if I were also a man who produces, performs, broadcasts and sells audio skits that are purely racist in nature…
…and if I were also a man who refers to African Americans as “boy” in my podcasts…
…and if I were also a man who refers to Asian woman as mail order brides…
…and if I were also a twice-cuckolded useless excuse for a husband whose children – some of whom are even the fruit of my loins, though I’m not sure which ones – want nothing to do with me…
…and if I were also a man who sets up online dating profiles in which I lie about the fact that I have children and that I smoke like a fucking chimney, even though it’s bad for my fake Parkinson’s disease…
…and if I were also a man who enjoys an occasional top-shelf bourbon because I’m truly desperate enough to pay for it after wiping out the entire stock of the generic label at the Piggly Wiggly, even though it’s bad for my fake Parkinson’s…
…and if I were also a man so desperate to set up my enemies that I would curb rub my tires until they blow just so I could file a police report accusing a man of slashing them…
…and if I were also a man who sets up a GoFundMe to finance a 14,000 mile road trip two months before declaring myself so disabled by fake Parkinson’s that I cannot drive…
…and if I were also a man who drove 3000 miles from Iowa to South Carolina to Iowa to South Carolina just to chase the withered **** of the ugliest inflat-a-skank on the eastern seaboard two months before declaring myself so disabled by fake Parkinson’s that I cannot drive…

…common sense would dictate that I have no leg to stand on if I want to argue that anyone else is responsible for destroying my “sterling reputation” other than myself.

Boy! Thank God I’m none of those things…just the accruate reflection of someone who is ALL THOSE THINGS!


Take the balloon animal’s advice, DUMBFUCK:

Everything will proceed as I have foreseen:

Dismissal for all defendants – lack of jurisdiction.

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