I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE TO LIVE MY LIFE IN PEACE (AND I’LL SUE YOU FOR BUTTHURT IF YOU DON’T)!!

“And to prove it, here’s another hit-job FAKE NEWS article reporting on a reporter whom I’ve been obsessively stalking for over five years!”

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The Phrases That Payses

Looks like the monthly check has cleared and the serious drinking is underway.

“If it gets published anywhere I will know who did it as it hasn’t been published anywhere else.”

That is an exact quote from an email that wasn’t even sent to Scott Hinckley aka agiledog.

“I have never publicized this photo, so if I see it on anyone’s blog I will know Hoge is responsible.”

That is an exact quote from an email that was copied to WJJ Hoge.

Nowhere in either statement is there a request, a demand, or an instruction that the photo the author is referencing not be published.  All the author has done is inform two separate audiences in two separate emails that if someone does publish the photo

Aw!  Yer makin’ me blush!

he will know who was responsible.  Which is why he sent it out more than once, so there would be absolute and irrefutable proof point to which of exactly twenty or so people could have done it.

And until DUMBFUCK himself publishes the complete contents of both o the (soon-to-be-forged) version of the emails he sent out, we will just have to assume (correctly, as always) that the HZIC is right, and the DUMBFUCK is a nutshuffling, testicle-footed, valor-stealing DUMBFUCK.

Let’s see if we can get that accomplished by close of business East Coast time today, shall we?

Tick-tock, said the Really Useful Urn from a landfill somewhere in Iowa.

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MUH RIGHTS!!! AS AN INTERLLIGENCE-DERFICIENT MUHRCAN!

I am too stupid to think for a very long time. But I will exercise muh rights to avoid thinking and for the LULZ of other Muhrcans.

The Muhrcans with Intellectual Disabilities Act of 2017 makes one thing clear. Stupid people are stupid, and stupidity is an excuse and in fact a reason to violate published court rules as well as explicit court orders from a judge. One might think government entities must provide special accommodations for people with disabilities, but this is not even a little bit accurate. Government entities must provide reasonable (not SPECIAL) accommodations, so that actual disabled persons (not fear pee soaked Fakinson’s cowards) can PARTICIPATE in life rather than hide in the closet of the Myrtle Beach Roach Motel.

And the government tried that.  They let me attend hearings via Skype after I lied and told them I was unable to drive (except from Wisconsin to Chicago and back, and from Wisconsin to Iowa, and multiple round trips from Iowa to South Carolina (about 2000 miles of painful, EXHAUSTING DEBILITATING, EXACERBATING HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS OF SITTING ON MY LARDY BEETUSBUTT IN A RENTED CAR on America’s crumbling infrastructure). But I violated their stupid rules and recorded the proceedings as they came out of my computer.  You couldn’t even hear any voices but mine on the video I posted to YouTube unless you turn up the volume.

WJJ Hoge III chooses to deny my rights under the ADA by pointing out that I have violated the court rules, and it seems as if he might have the assistance of a Carroll County, MD, Circuit Court Judge in doing so. The judge ordered me to appear and show cause why I should not be held in contempt.

What does that mean? I’m glad you asked.

It means that the judge has found that there is cause to find me, an interlexulluy dersabled Muhrcan, in contempt of court. And I must be given a chance to show that I have not violated rules nor an order of the court.  Because I have allegedly (HA!) violated the rules WHILE USING SKYPE, the judge seems to think it might not be a grand idea to give me the opportunity to do it again. What an idiotic jackass that judge is.

In his feckless lawsuit against your host, Brett and Tetyana Kimberlin and several others – a suit which has been allowed at every juncture to move ever forward to a scheduled trial date in August- Hoge has chosen to create law where none exists point out how I violated the court’s rules. The judge in the case allows him to do so without sanction, because that is within the rules. For instance, on June 28 I am called to appear in person, 450 miles from here, to answer a ridiculous contempt of court charge for a crime that does not exist violation of the black-letter court rules and procedures. I no longer drive, because it’s not convenient for me to continue to drive, or else I would be expected to drive all the way to Maryland to get smacked in the mouth by a judge.

I’m gonna fight, by running and hiding to an abandoned bar where I can be the last man standing after a bar fight where I am the only participant.

A 14-hour bus or train ride would be incredibly painful, much more painful than the multiple16+ hour road trips I made in my own car from Iowa to South Carolina and back when I was able to drive two short months ago. As much as Hoge and his followers like to pretend, I actually do have and can PROVE I suffer from Parkinson’s disease, when it’s convenient to do so. Furthermore, THERE IS NOTHING IN MARYLAND LAW OR THE MARYLAND RULES STATING THAT A PERSON PROVIDING TESTIMONY OVER SKYPE OR THE TELEPHONE CANNOT RECORD HIS OR HER OWN TESTIMONY…unless you count rule 16-208, which I don’t because I am an interlectilly derpsmacked Muhrcan and I can’t even find that rule in the copy of the rules that the judge told me to get and figger out.

I am charged with recording my own face and voice (and by COMPLETE COINCIDENCE all the other voices in the room, but it’s ALL THEIR FAULT for talking loud enough to hear me) using an iPhone that should have been turned off for everyone but me, it says so right there in the rules. Hoge is calling it “wiretapping.” And the judge is playing right along because that dimwit doesn’t know the rules.

On June 9, I filed a motion asking the stupid goddam judge to either cancel the hearing or, in the alternative, drop the requirement that I appear in person to perform for Hoge’s dog and pony show so that I can secretly record it again, which has nothing to do with why there’s a show cause hearing in the first place.

SHUT UP, MOTHER!

AND YOU TOO, GAIL!

WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE STAY DEAD!!

That hearing is June 28, day after tomorrow. As of this evening, the judge has not responded one way or another to the motion. He has to respond before the hearing, it’s in the Pretendyland ACME Rules of Civil Procedure, which is the only set of rules an INTERSECTIONALLY DISTENDED MUHRCAN like me is required to use – they’re not written anywhere, but I have them memorized.  If he has not responded by COB tomorrow, I will be expected to appear at 8:45 am in Westminster, Maryland.

To be forced to do so is a clear violation of my rights under Title II of the Americans with Intellectual Disabilities Act.

The AIDA provides remedies in Federal Court for idiotic Americans who can’t understand the law and really should have HIRED A FUCKING LAWYER and tried to SETTLE before it was too late. Which it definitely is now.

If the judge continues to ignore my motion, I will avail myself of my uncivil rights as an uninteresting asexually fear-piss-abled American.

I will resist this usurpation of my rights from my ADA compliant jail cell.

I’ll tell you one thing though…ain’t gonna be no hunger strike!

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Denials Require Proof, You Say?

Well, it’s a well known fact that Bill Schmalfeldt once alleged in a federal lawsuit that his cousin Roy Schmalfeldt defamed him by accusing him of rape.  Bill Schmalfeldt also dismissed that lawsuit with prejudice, which leaves him legally unable to deny that he is, in fact, a rapist.

If what Bill Schmalfeldt says today – “DENIALS REQUIRE PROOF!” – what other things has he done that he cannot provide proof that he never did?

  • Did he in fact get kicked to the curb by St. Gail after befouling his marriage bed with Hell’s Kitchen Kate?
  • Did he in fact live the remainder of his marriage with St. Gail in separate beds because her condition for allowing him into the tincasa was the permanent withholding of spousal privileges?
  • Did he in fact scam the National Institutes of Health into a pensioned disability retirement?
  • Did he in fact ever have a job in journalism or radio from which he was not fired?
  • Was he in fact evicted from the enclave of the NINJANUNS?
  • Did he in fact violate his lease in Iowa to escape to his new Inflatababe?
  • Did he in fact fail to inform the states of Wisconsin, Iowa and possibly South Carolina of his disability, thus fraudulently acquiring driver’s licenses in one or more of those states?
  • Did he in fact administer multiple pairs of Irish Sunglasses to his soulmate throughout their marriage?
  • Was she in fact too quick for him to catch?
  • Did he in fact abandon four pets in two states to the streets?
  • Were those pets in fact served as entrees in various Asian restaurants?
  • Did he in fact leave the urn behind in Iowa?
  • Did he in fact murder his first wife and chop her body into stew meat?
  • Does he in fact no longer take any medications for Parkinson’s?’

As the GREASE-SWEATING BEETUSBUCKET DUMBFUCK says, 

DENIALS REQUIRE PROOF!

Based on the Rules of Schmalfeldt, simply because I say so, all these things are true. The only way to disprove them is for DUMBFUCK – in true Alinsky style – to live up to his own rule book and provide sufficient proof to the negative.

And naturally I am the judge of sufficiency.

I’ll wait.

But only until 9 PM Eastern.

And you know, if anyone thinks of anything else he needs to provide denials for, leave a comment.

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So I Guess The Great White Plagiarism Hunter Has Lost His Mojo

Used to be, not so long ago, that if John Hoge posted something on the Internet, you could count on a DUMBFUCK to stick that post into Google and call John a plagiarist for repeating a joke.

(Remind me to tell you the one about the lardass cripple who hired a flatbed truck and a forklift to haul him to court – it’s a really good one!)

Recently though, DUMBFUCK seems to have lost the knack for searching the Internet for thing other people have said.

Over at Cabin Boy Unread (no), a commenter named “Bob” took issue with the whinging that DUMBFUCK was aiming at Jason Chaffetz over his assertion that it might come down to a choice between paying a premium for the insurance or picking up that sweet iPhone.

Bob pointed out that long before Rep. Chaffetz spoke out on Sunday, President Lightbringer was saying essentially the same thing:

As you can see, DUMBFUCK’S response was as filled with grace and charm as anything else he’s ever written.  ALWAYS WITH THE BUTT STUFF…and especially so when the commenter in question shares a name with his monoplacental twin!  I wonder if there’s some deeper meaning there…

But it seems…what’s the word?…QUEER! that a DUMBFUCK so skilled at finding quotes on the Internet would go begging for help in this instance, when it’s right out in front of God and EVERYBODY to find.

Copy. Paste. Search. Result.

5 seconds, tops.

Whoo!  Somebody get me a cold drink, I am exhausted.

UPDATE:  After deleting a comment wherein “Bob” provided the linkage DUMBFUCK requested, “Bob” reposted the video. Sadly the archive does not retain the image, but I feel confident it is the same video posted above.

So now we have a record when DUMBFUCK deletes this comment too, during work hours at KMCN-FM.

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Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

Okay, so to recap – making accusations without proof is bad again.

In that case, does anyone remember when KMCN-FM the MAC 94.7 host Broadway Bill Schmalfeldt begged and begged like the puling pussy he is for someone, anyone to take down the turdsrfood.wordpress.com website that someone started?

Does anyone remember when he started accusing me of being behind it? Does anyone recall that fat jackass providing even one bit of proof?

And of course it was him, not me, who outed Vinnie Virgintino, Thomas Puzo Sr., Miriam Lazewatsky and dog trainers various and sundry up and down the Eastern seaboard? (Guess what, DUMBFUCK? Just because you delete your fuck-ups does not mean the INTERNET IS NOT STILL FOREVER.)

It was him, not me, who determined that Howard Earl was Jerry Fletcher was Chris Heather was Jeremy Kinsey was Robin Causey was Paul Krendler was Eric Schultz was Owain Pennilyn was John Hoge IV was Grace the San Francisco hairdresser was Ashterah was the Dread Pirate Zombie was Asherahresearch was Laura Ashley was Ashley Wilkes was Wilkes Chamberlain was Richard Chamberlain was Jason Bourne was Matt Damon was Damon Runyon was Ring Lardner was James Garner was Jim Rockford was Rocky Balboa was Snake Plissken.

Seriously? 

It was him, not not me, who spread disgusting deathbed photos of his so-called soulmate, the best woman he ever met (out of maybe 6 total, not including the Japanese whatever-you-want-to-call-him), and that’s how much respect he has for her, to spew that photo all over the internet.

What about those photos of someone allegedly abusing a cadaver that he says that I sent him?  Does anyone recall the proof that it was me?

And all those times he has accused me of being the person behind the creation of, and multiple guffaw-inducing updates to his personal page at Encyclopedia Dramatica?  Does anyone remember him ever offering a shred of proof?

And the many times he has accused me of being some guy from Palatine, Illinois, without ever providing a single shred of proof?

And last year, when Agent Starling took time from her busy schedule to drive to the Palace of the Ninjanuns in St. Francis, Wisconsin to take a photo of the car he bought, after YEARS of lying about being unable to drive because EXACERBATED PARKINSON’S or some such bullshit, and DUMBFUCK Broadway Bill Schmalfeldt posted this lie:

Here’s a hint, for a turdsniffing moron: it wasn’t me, it wasn’t a car, and it didn’t have Illinois plates.

I know who Agent Starling was, I know what he was driving, and I know what state the plates were from.

I challenge lying crapnugget & sandpacked pussy Broadway Bill Schmalfeldt, minimum wage midday host at KMCN-FM in Clinton Iowa, to publish that picture.

I know he never will though. He doesn’t have any such picture because it doesn’t exist, and because he’s a lying piece of shit, and a credit to the character of the no-account radio station who hired him.

Again, that radio station is KMCN- FM the MAC 94.7 in Clinton Iowa, where they play everything, with the possible exception of THE KIDDIE PORN HOMOSEXUAL BOY SCOUT PARODIES BILL SCHMALFELDT CREATED AND TRIES TO SELL ON AMAZON.

IT’S THIS ONE:

OH, AND THIS ONE, TOO:

Those two links to Amazon, and the titles?  Those are called “proof.”

Because making accusations without proof is bad again.

Or maybe it’s only bad to make accusations about Broadass Bill Schmalfeldt, the lying pussy behind the mike from 1 – 5 afternoons at KMCN-FM in Clinton, Iowa.

Maybe it’s only okay when he does it to others.

Which he does all the time.

 

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And The Idiot Self-Identifies AGAIN!

It’s really quite remarkable.

This is DUMBFUCK’S most recent post promoting his most recent poopcast, I mean, podcast.

Let’s tally up the stupid, shall we? Continue reading “And The Idiot Self-Identifies AGAIN!”

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Say, Does This Remind You of Anyone?

What’s the problem?  It was obviously a JOKE, Richard!  SATIRE!

Don’t you know SATIRE when you see it?

Maybe if he had included tire irons to make the SATIRE more obvious…

Someone should ask Lee and Ken what they think.

FYI – this is how you tell the difference between responsible journalists and DUMBFUCK journalists.

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