Self Awareness Fail, Part ∞

Shot:

Chaser:

Poopypants Pundit, heal thyself.

 

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Yes, DUMBFUCK, There Is Ample Proof

  1. You have not denied that you moved, only demanded proof that is not required.
  2. Perhaps you missed the posted clock running on your deadline to disprove t what our anonymous sources told us before we simply assumed it was true, but that has never made a difference to you when you were the one demanding answers and making unfounded assumptions.

There was a clock, and you missed your deadline.  Our assumptions are therefore proved correct and accurate.

#YourGame
#YourRules
#KickingYourAss

#FuckYou

P.S. When you do file your change of address notification with the court, your lie of omission will be laid bare for the world.  Just like all the rest.

 

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Um, Roy?

Was it a dude? Because that is quite a lot worse. Just ask Kevin Spacey.

I mean, Hollywood hasn’t airbrushed Roman Polanski away, have they?

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Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes?

Of course DUMBFUCK wants to argue that the PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE of Al Franken feeling up a sleeping woman (she consented, though, I’m sure) isn’t REALLY what it looks like.

But then there’s also this:

"On the day of the show Franken and I were alone backstage going over our lines one last time. He said to me, 'We need to rehearse the kiss.' I laughed and ignored him. Then he said it again. I said something like, 'Relax Al, this isn’t 'SNL' ... we don't need to rehearse the kiss.' He continued to insist, and I was beginning to get uncomfortable," she wrote in her KABC piece.

She said that she acquiesced "so that he would stop badgering me" and that when he kissed her, he "put his hand on the back of my head, mashed his lips against mine and aggressively stuck his tongue in my mouth."

So you have, in the last week, a whole armload of forty year old accusations against a former federal judge now running for Senate, based entirely on “press conference” testimony  that can be neither confirmed nor refuted after all this time.

Now, if I know my DUMBFUCK as well as I think I do, the next words out of his chomp hole about soon to be ex-Senator Franken will be along the lines of “Prove it,” “There’s no proof,” “It’s his word against his,” or “until I hear different, she’s lying.”

Well, the proof you seek, oh intrepid investigamative journimalist, is out there if you could just get up off your well-fed hiney and stop waiting for the source to come to you.  Get out there, Scoop (of poop) Schmalfeldt, and do some real reporting for once.

In fact, let me point you in the right direction – the proof of truth of Ms. Tweeden’s accusations exists in two places: the photograph you tweeted, and in the hidden drawer right next to the verified evidence of truth spoken by the women that the **** Party paid to level the accusations at Judge Moore in the first place.

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Are the Rumors True?

Now, I don’t want to get anyone in trouble, but I have heard very disturbing rumors coming from South Carolina…

It would seem that a certain disabled internet radio host likes to take a [REDACTED] directly onto a dinner plate rather than into the [REDACTED] because he likes to [REDACTED] it while it is still [REDACTED].  He has become tired of fishing the [REDACTED] out of the cold [REDACTED] [REDACTED], and besides, the [REDACTED] loses all its [REDACTED] once it gets [REDACTED].   Sometimes he even [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] or [REDACTED] the day before so that when it [REDACTED] in his [REDACTED] the next day, he has an extra [REDACTED] to enjoy with his fresh [REDACTED].

We also hear that the pleasantly plump [REDACTED], whose smiling face is reminiscent of a [REDACTED] Vietnamese [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED], tries to [REDACTED] our radio host extra [REDACTED] so there is enough [REDACTED] the next day for [REDACTED]!

I certainly don’t believe I should be not unhopeful of determining the eventual truth or falsity of these [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] rumors [REDACTED] the [REDACTED] habits of these two [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] from the [REDACTED] [REDACTED].

That would be a shame.

DUMP
TOILET
EAT
STEAMING
POOP
TOILET
WATER
POOP
TEXTURE
WET
EATS
CANNED
CORN
PEANUTS
REAPPEARS
POOP
FLAVOR
POOP
INFLAT-A-SKANK
SPRUNG
PUNJI
STICK
TRAP
FEED
RATIONS
BOUNTY
SHARING
HEINOUS
DISGUSTING
ABOUT
DIETARY
IRREDEEMABLY
DISGUSTING
REJECTS
GENETIC
POOL

(not necessarily in that order)

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I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE TO LIVE MY LIFE IN PEACE (AND I’LL SUE YOU FOR BUTTHURT IF YOU DON’T)!!

“And to prove it, here’s another hit-job FAKE NEWS article reporting on a reporter whom I’ve been obsessively stalking for over five years!”

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The Phrases That Payses

Looks like the monthly check has cleared and the serious drinking is underway.

“If it gets published anywhere I will know who did it as it hasn’t been published anywhere else.”

That is an exact quote from an email that wasn’t even sent to Scott Hinckley aka agiledog.

“I have never publicized this photo, so if I see it on anyone’s blog I will know Hoge is responsible.”

That is an exact quote from an email that was copied to WJJ Hoge.

Nowhere in either statement is there a request, a demand, or an instruction that the photo the author is referencing not be published.  All the author has done is inform two separate audiences in two separate emails that if someone does publish the photo

Aw!  Yer makin’ me blush!

he will know who was responsible.  Which is why he sent it out more than once, so there would be absolute and irrefutable proof point to which of exactly twenty or so people could have done it.

And until DUMBFUCK himself publishes the complete contents of both o the (soon-to-be-forged) version of the emails he sent out, we will just have to assume (correctly, as always) that the HZIC is right, and the DUMBFUCK is a nutshuffling, testicle-footed, valor-stealing DUMBFUCK.

Let’s see if we can get that accomplished by close of business East Coast time today, shall we?

Tick-tock, said the Really Useful Urn from a landfill somewhere in Iowa.

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MUH RIGHTS!!! AS AN INTERLLIGENCE-DERFICIENT MUHRCAN!

I am too stupid to think for a very long time. But I will exercise muh rights to avoid thinking and for the LULZ of other Muhrcans.

The Muhrcans with Intellectual Disabilities Act of 2017 makes one thing clear. Stupid people are stupid, and stupidity is an excuse and in fact a reason to violate published court rules as well as explicit court orders from a judge. One might think government entities must provide special accommodations for people with disabilities, but this is not even a little bit accurate. Government entities must provide reasonable (not SPECIAL) accommodations, so that actual disabled persons (not fear pee soaked Fakinson’s cowards) can PARTICIPATE in life rather than hide in the closet of the Myrtle Beach Roach Motel.

And the government tried that.  They let me attend hearings via Skype after I lied and told them I was unable to drive (except from Wisconsin to Chicago and back, and from Wisconsin to Iowa, and multiple round trips from Iowa to South Carolina (about 2000 miles of painful, EXHAUSTING DEBILITATING, EXACERBATING HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS OF SITTING ON MY LARDY BEETUSBUTT IN A RENTED CAR on America’s crumbling infrastructure). But I violated their stupid rules and recorded the proceedings as they came out of my computer.  You couldn’t even hear any voices but mine on the video I posted to YouTube unless you turn up the volume.

WJJ Hoge III chooses to deny my rights under the ADA by pointing out that I have violated the court rules, and it seems as if he might have the assistance of a Carroll County, MD, Circuit Court Judge in doing so. The judge ordered me to appear and show cause why I should not be held in contempt.

What does that mean? I’m glad you asked.

It means that the judge has found that there is cause to find me, an interlexulluy dersabled Muhrcan, in contempt of court. And I must be given a chance to show that I have not violated rules nor an order of the court.  Because I have allegedly (HA!) violated the rules WHILE USING SKYPE, the judge seems to think it might not be a grand idea to give me the opportunity to do it again. What an idiotic jackass that judge is.

In his feckless lawsuit against your host, Brett and Tetyana Kimberlin and several others – a suit which has been allowed at every juncture to move ever forward to a scheduled trial date in August- Hoge has chosen to create law where none exists point out how I violated the court’s rules. The judge in the case allows him to do so without sanction, because that is within the rules. For instance, on June 28 I am called to appear in person, 450 miles from here, to answer a ridiculous contempt of court charge for a crime that does not exist violation of the black-letter court rules and procedures. I no longer drive, because it’s not convenient for me to continue to drive, or else I would be expected to drive all the way to Maryland to get smacked in the mouth by a judge.

I’m gonna fight, by running and hiding to an abandoned bar where I can be the last man standing after a bar fight where I am the only participant.

A 14-hour bus or train ride would be incredibly painful, much more painful than the multiple16+ hour road trips I made in my own car from Iowa to South Carolina and back when I was able to drive two short months ago. As much as Hoge and his followers like to pretend, I actually do have and can PROVE I suffer from Parkinson’s disease, when it’s convenient to do so. Furthermore, THERE IS NOTHING IN MARYLAND LAW OR THE MARYLAND RULES STATING THAT A PERSON PROVIDING TESTIMONY OVER SKYPE OR THE TELEPHONE CANNOT RECORD HIS OR HER OWN TESTIMONY…unless you count rule 16-208, which I don’t because I am an interlectilly derpsmacked Muhrcan and I can’t even find that rule in the copy of the rules that the judge told me to get and figger out.

I am charged with recording my own face and voice (and by COMPLETE COINCIDENCE all the other voices in the room, but it’s ALL THEIR FAULT for talking loud enough to hear me) using an iPhone that should have been turned off for everyone but me, it says so right there in the rules. Hoge is calling it “wiretapping.” And the judge is playing right along because that dimwit doesn’t know the rules.

On June 9, I filed a motion asking the stupid goddam judge to either cancel the hearing or, in the alternative, drop the requirement that I appear in person to perform for Hoge’s dog and pony show so that I can secretly record it again, which has nothing to do with why there’s a show cause hearing in the first place.

SHUT UP, MOTHER!

AND YOU TOO, GAIL!

WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE STAY DEAD!!

That hearing is June 28, day after tomorrow. As of this evening, the judge has not responded one way or another to the motion. He has to respond before the hearing, it’s in the Pretendyland ACME Rules of Civil Procedure, which is the only set of rules an INTERSECTIONALLY DISTENDED MUHRCAN like me is required to use – they’re not written anywhere, but I have them memorized.  If he has not responded by COB tomorrow, I will be expected to appear at 8:45 am in Westminster, Maryland.

To be forced to do so is a clear violation of my rights under Title II of the Americans with Intellectual Disabilities Act.

The AIDA provides remedies in Federal Court for idiotic Americans who can’t understand the law and really should have HIRED A FUCKING LAWYER and tried to SETTLE before it was too late. Which it definitely is now.

If the judge continues to ignore my motion, I will avail myself of my uncivil rights as an uninteresting asexually fear-piss-abled American.

I will resist this usurpation of my rights from my ADA compliant jail cell.

I’ll tell you one thing though…ain’t gonna be no hunger strike!

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