A Little Q & A

Over on his new-and-improved Twitter account, the Deranged, Multiple-State Adjudicated Cyber Harasser and Stalking Oedipal Troll has posed a series of questions.  At the moment, it seems like it could be…

FUN

…to answer them.

When did I become a professional comedian?

This is a loaded question, dripping with late-stage Parkinson’s dementia.  If he doesn’t remember, I don’t see why I should help.  Continue reading “A Little Q & A”

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Cabin Boy Covers The Hits

Because you know I’m all about that poop,
‘Bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop

Yeah it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two
But I can jiggle, jiggle like I’m supposed to do
‘Cause I love that butt stuff that creepy boys chase
With all the right pee-pees in all the right pooters
I see the FBI fingerprinting Tupperware
We know that shit ain’t real
Come on, they just don’t care
If you got doody doody just raise it up
‘Cause I look like a great big penis
From the bottom to the top

Yeah, my momma she told me don’t worry ’bout telling lies
She says, sailors they like to be rubbed up between their thighs
And I will always be oversized, homely, a walking schlong
So, if that’s what’s you’re into
Then let’s go do something wrong

Because you know I’m all about that poop,
‘Bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop

I’m bringing doody back
The Postal Service infected with crap
Tell cops you sent it if you make me mad,
But I’m here to tell you,
I look like a walking penis from the bottom to the top

Yeah, my momma she told me don’t worry ’bout telling lies
She says, sailors they like to be rubbed up between their thighs
And I will always be oversized, homely, a walking schlong
So, if that’s what’s you’re into
Then let’s go do something wrong

Because you know I’m all about that poop,
‘Bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop

Because you know I’m all about that poop,
‘Bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop

Because you know I’m all about that poop,
‘Bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop, no manure
I’m all ’bout that poop, ’bout that poop

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Interesting Thing About The Law

If you swear to something under oath, and sign your name to it, even if you do it under false pretense and for retaliatory purposes, like this:
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then you are quite bound by your oath to behave as though you believe that what you have sworn is true. To do otherwise provides both indication and evidence that you may knowingly have provided false information.

So now that Patrick Grady has been granted a plenary Stalking No Contact Order against William Schmalfeldt of Elkridge, Maryland,
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Schmalfeldt is prohibited by court order from communicating to or about Grady in any forum or social media.

But that’s okay, right?
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Actually, no.

Schmalfeldt doesn’t need Hoge to make sure of anything. Schmalfeldt is sure. Because…SCHMALFELDT. Sure enough to swear an oath under penalty of perjury (up to $1000 fine, up to 90 days imprisonment, or both) that Grady is me, and I am Grady.

So here he is, ordered by the court not to write about Grady, and bound legally by his own sworn oath not to write about Krendler, because HE SAYS I AM GRADY.

Oops.

Stupid people call this an “Oh, Fuck! What Have I Done?” moment.

Everyone else calls it a “What A Cute Little Corner You’ve Painted Yourself Into!” moment.

I just call it FUN.

I have it on “competent authority” that Grady is perfectly willing, as he has demonstrated by his recent trip to Maryland, to take Schmalfeldt at his word and treat any communication toward or about me as CONSISTENT WITH HIS SWORN OATH to be a communication toward or about GRADY, and a violation of the Stalking No Contact Order.

And reported accordingly. Every single time.

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The Demented Freak Forgets His Place

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Oh, William💩…

Poor, poor William💩…

Are you💩 finding that being left alone does not suit you💩?

Because we can always do something about that…

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…and just to be clear? This is me being nice.

Now be a good freak and go back to being left alone. There’s a lad.

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