The course of true love runs about as straight as the teeth of an inflatable gamer for some people. For others with purer hearts and better prospects, the outlook is much more positive. I suppose that explains how Patrick Grady, the White Whale to Bill Schmalfeldt’s Captain Ahab, somehow made it back to the altar before he did.
I was there, one of few close friends among many family members at an intimate outdoor ceremony. In gorgeous sunshine and a high, cooling breeze, I had the pleasure of seeing my good friend tie the knot once more. The bride was lovely, and to call her an upgrade to the previous model would be, well…true.
Of certain details, I have been sworn to secrecy, but I can share that one member of the celebration told me he looks and acts happier than they can ever remember seeing him. I cannot disagree.
I struggle to understand how Lady Dye Job puts up with someone as unmotivated as DUMBFUCK, who refuses to get off his unwashed crap-chute and drag himself down to the courthouse and make an honest woman of her. Of course, it’s quite possible that between gaming and #resisting, it’s she who can’t be bothered – but I think the former case is much more likely.
Could be he’s promised to set a date as soon as he gets and holds a job for six months…if that’s the case it will never happen, but at least he’ll have his principles instead of a wife.
My friend is happy. I’m happy for my friend. Bill Schmalfeldt can go fuck himself, and as long as he stays on the internet, I’ll be there to point, laugh and mock.