And To No One’s Surprise

…the somebody happy to have “daddy” back is NOT one of the several children of his former spouses that may or may not share his DNA.

It’s a good thing that mental defects sometimes can skip a generation, assuming that all prior relevant claims of “fatherhood” are accurate.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

6 thoughts on “And To No One’s Surprise”

  1. Snow swirls and the temperature drops. Yet again. Baby, it’s cold outside. And even colder when you don’t have a job. Global warming sucks.

    A Raven alights.

    Yes, this is the same Raven you saw me write about when it was flying and alighting around in Myrtle Beach. One of my life mistakes is that I haven’t kept track of the links where I’ve documented, for myself, all the events I’ve written about.

    Why Hoge, TMZ, SC and Billysez don’t have filters singularly displaying my literary brilliance I don’t know. Frack. But anon.

    “Big Bear, I’m cold.”

    “Pinkie Pie, snuggle up closer. I’ve put a towel against the door to our one bedroom apartment. We’ll be ok. Let’s fire up the remaining ramen in a cup over the sterno can and we’ll warm up.”

    “But it’s cold here. I don’t like it.”

    “I know, Babe. We’re out of here shortly. There’s always another bus. Add a splash of Johnnie Walker to the ramen. That’’ll help. ”

    “Where, Big Daddy? Where are we going to go?”

    “West. West, I think. West, where there are DREAMS!. West where the men are pansexuals and all the rest of the mouth-breathers are sheep to be taxed. And RULED over as they should be in a single-party state. Do you think I’d look good with a man-bun? I have enough hair. In the back.”

    “But we don’t know anybody there. I hear California is warm but….”

    “This is the first February in recorded history that LA hasn’t hit 70 degrees but that’s because of Global Warming. Darlin’ even so, it’s going to be ok. We don’t EXACTLY know anybody there but those ARE our kind of people. I can call Yvette Falarca. She hates Trump. And EVERYTHING the USA is and has ever stood for. Yvette hates everything. And Eric Clanton. He’s SUPER-SMART! Those are OUR kind of people! There’s a place for us there. California.”

    “Eric Clanton? Who’s he?”

    “Eric Clanton is the California college associate-professor who went out in a mask and clobbered non-woke persons with a U-shaped bike lock under, what he thought was, the cover of anonymity. The Orange-ist ReTHUGlicans named him ‘Bikelock Scum.’ He whacked the snot out of some people. They deserved the unprovoked attacks along with physical injuries because they dared to voice a opinion different from all of us on the side of goodness and righteousness. TrumpFascistAssholes hauled Eric into court but he got off lightly. Hitler! That’s what I’m saying. Hitler! “

    “Oh. Big Bear, you’re SO on top of things. And can we afford $25 for some Final Fantasy cheats?”

    “Yes. My dear, and as soon as we can ALSO put the money together for yet another bus ticket, we’re on our way to Berkeley. THOSE are our kind of people. Peoples Republic OR BUST! Maybe we can audit some classes. I know! Maybe I could get a job TEACHING!”

    “But. Big Bear… Myrtle Beach is so much cheaper. And my sister is there. And we know the area. And I don’t think there’s a single Waffle House in California. The little Commie Personalities you mention DO sound quite nice. Our kind of people, but- But the ones you’ve mentioned are either headed for jail or under the scrutiny of The Law. That’s not good. Is it?”

    “Perhaps not. You raise some good points. And perhaps ’tis easier to grift your family once again. Given that our finances are in such a deplorable state. IF we spend our ducats carefully over the next couple of months we can come up with enough court fees to submit LOLSuit IX: Into Derpness. Big bucks will ensue. And we’ll have enough money to spend the rest of our lives comfortably. How does Ft. Lauderdale sound to you, cupcake? Myrtle Beach first. Ft. Lauderdale or BUST!!!”

    “OH! That would be wonderful. Love you, Biggest One.”

    “Love you too, my Pinkie Immenseness. Let's check the Greyhound schedules.”

    The Raven ponders. Knows all, sees all and doesn’t like much. Look before you leap next? Well, you MUST leap. And now you have. Yet again.

    Damn.

    Just, Damn-

    Life isn’t simple.

    Damn.

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    1. It's like you are in his empty head. Do you take multiple showers after writing one of these?

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        1. Being easily amused goes hand-in-hand with being slow to take offense as among the greatest qualities a person who wants to be happy can have.

          Gratitude, of course, is number one with a bullet.

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