Stop Driving on the Curbs, DUMBFUCK!

The last time you did this you ruined two tires at the same time!

Tell me, have you informed your station management of your irreversible, degenerative neurological condition which led you to stop driving and give up your driver’s license nearly a decade ago?

Would you prefer if someone step up and made that notification on your behalf? You know, in the interest of making a positive influence on the lives of your audience?

Or at least, NOT making a negative impact on them…with a moving car?


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

12 thoughts on “Stop Driving on the Curbs, DUMBFUCK!”

  1. Is he sure that wasn't a "woke" 6-year-old he was speaking with? And "after more than four decades of slaving over a hot microphone"? Given that the PD Stage Giggity prevented him from working at all for many years, did he start slaving at age 3 or something?
    "two rustic Montana guys"???? Deplorables maybe? Hicks? What's he trying to say?
    How long do you figure this job will last? A few more weeks? Less?

    1. I think “rustic” = not wearing Hawaiian muumuus from Goodwill, and sporting actual cowboy hats made in America instead of Cambodia.

  2. Ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to be a chef, so I could bring joyful deliciousness to people and make their day a littler bit brighter. It means so much to be able to make a connection with people. This is why I'm so fortunate and blessed to be able to make my living working the fryer at Rod's Drive Inn.

    1. How many chins are hiding under the second one, that’s what I want to know!

  3. "...and I’m having a positive impact on their lives. That’s a thing we can do in radio that you really can’t do on such a personal level in any other medium."

    Can't do on such a personal level in any other medium? Politicians (OK, maybe), singers, musicians, artists, etc. And I'm not even really trying here.

    "I still get a kick out of being recognized, even after more than four decades of slaving over a hot microphone...I am one of those truly blessed and fortunate people who is doing exactly what he always wanted to..."

    Tomato, tomahtoh. Can't decide if it is slave work or a dream job? And slaving over a microphone? The physical exertion must truly be exhausting, especially for someone suffering from stage !1!1!!1ELEVENTY!!1!11 Parkinson's Disease who cannot stand for more than 10 minutes without lying down for hours to recover.

    Cannot live in cold weather? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot walk around in cold weather? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot drive? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot work? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot stand/do physical exertion for long? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot walk without a cane or walker? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot travel to a court of law? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot ride a bus for over 6 hours? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot drink alcohol? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot smoke cigars? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot live without a captive nurse? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot walk a dog? --- Yes The Blob can.
    Cannot do laundry? --- Yes The Blob can.

    Cannot stay off the internet? OOPS! Went one too far with that one!

  4. Does this sound like somebody we are aware of?

    "It is well established that gut bacteria can affect the brain," Sahar El Aidy, an assistant professor in microbiology at University of Groningen and study lead investigator, said in a news release. "There is a continuous chemical dialogue between gut bacteria and the brain, the so-called gut-brain axis."

    The less effect a normal dosage of levodopa has on a Parkinson's patient, the more of the drug a doctor will administer. This can lead to dyskinesia, a condition that causes involuntary movements and severe pain.

    It would explain a lot quit taking and got better.

  5. I don't think so. Are we aware of anyone who actually has Parkinsons?

  6. I'm suprised he didn't claim somebody drove from Illinois, vandalized his car by causing a slow leak, then drove home without taking any further action.


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