Why I “Quit” My Day Job

When I conned my way into the post of program director and morning show host at KGYN in Guymon, OK, it was with the understanding that KGYN was a conservative talk station in a conservative area and I would need to focus on doing a happy news morning radio show and keep my flaming Godless communist opinions to myself. At first, it was easy. I spent the first three months silently laughing at my co-workers and my listeners. But as we got closer to the midterms, I started to use my Twitter page as a liberal platform, which quite understandably pissed off the bosses. I had also temporarily been the station manager while the post was vacant, but when that happened, they made a “hurry up” hire to get someone – anyone – in house that could rein me in.

He took the keys to the station Twitter account away from me on September 15. You’ll notice it hasn’t been updated since. He also made me take all references to the station off of my personal Twitter account. I used to be @BillMathewsKGYN with logos and call letters and slogans all over my bio. I took that all down and became the very generic @GuymonRadioGuy.

Another thing that bothered me was the way April Coble had total freedom on Twitter to be her liberal self.  Oh, I grifted her real good, too. She told me about all the lickspittles she blocked out of hand when they tried to tell her about my previous exploits as a cyberstalker, just like I told her they would.

The real problem was that, as program director, it became obvious that the syndicated hosts on the station, in the wake of the Kavanaugh confirmation, were now using the Alinsky “By Any Means Necessary” playbook that had served us progressives so well in the Obama years.  They had finally figured out that the way to cling to power was to punch back twice as hard as the Democrats, lie twice as much as Claire McCaskill, DiFi and Chuck Schumer, and scare the GOP base in the same way we’ve been scaring African Americans out to the pools for the last 50 plus years.

Oh, and get the economy roaring again. And cut taxes. And drop unemployment below 4%. And create more job openings than there are unemployed people on the books to fill them.

Fucking Trump. #OrangeManBad

At KGYN, right-wing thought prevails. Mike Gallagher is on the air from 9 until 11. The white supremacist Laura Ingraham is on from noon until 2. The right wing goofball Joe Pags is on from 5 until 8. That’s 7 hours out of the broadcast day devoted to rational thought, and as program director, I had to sit there and listen to all of it. Everybody thinking and using logic and reason…I had no idea what they were talking about. I just knew it made my fee-fees hurt. I couldn’t wait to get home, turn on MSNBC and watch the Antifa mobs harassing people in the streets of New York and chasing them out of restaurants in Washington and dragging them out of their cars in Portland before being challenged and running away like I did from Maryland to Wisconsin in 2015. And all the Kavanaugh protesters disrupting the hearings – AND GETTING PAID TO DO IT! Lucky fuckers. I can’t wait for the impeachment hearings. I love peaches…

What was I talking about? Oh yeah.

But I was staying up until four in the morning watching MSNBC just to wash the conservative thought out of my brain and replace it with muh libruhl feeeeeels. I wasn’t getting any sleep, and Ream-o of the Jerks was getting upset with me. She wanted to get married, she wanted new teeth, she wanted, this, that, and the other thing, she wouldn’t shut the fuck up!

Finally – AND THIS IS WHERE YOU CAN TELL I’M LYING – it was the Elizabeth Warren controversy that finally pushed me off the fence. You see, I was the program director at this station. It was my job to keep it on the air so that the local yokels can hear content they enjoy and patronize the advertisers who sponsor that content and pay my sub-minimum wage, and I knew that going in. But keeping the power on for these Okie dumbasses was just too much.

The new station manager could tell I was on the verge of going postal, so on Monday, he did a very smart thing. I finished my show, and he told me he’s taken the liberty of having my meager belongings packed and driven to the train station in Lubbock, and here’s your ticket. Don’t let the door hit ya where the dog bit ya.

Now I no longer have to put up with the voices of hatred on the radio.

Just my fiancée. And the ones in my own head.

And that will have to do.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

17 thoughts on “Why I “Quit” My Day Job”

  1. "Because they put all my shit on the curb and changed the locks."

    I hope they didn't leave the balloon animal out in the rain.

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  2. What? The new program director wouldn't let him work from home? Didn't accept fakinson's excuses for poor work, or personal hygiene? The inhumannatee!

    I must say William is rather unlucky to find himself unemployed in such a boom economy. Again. Still. And with unemployment below 4%!

    At least he can tell himself he's in the top 4% of deadbeat, no-good bums.

    Like(6)Dislike(0)
  3. Brilliant. Simply, brilliant...

    I was pondering a rough outline for something like this and you beat me to it. Excellent work, Paul.

    Like(3)Dislike(0)
  4. He ought to move to San Fran, I hear that there is a butt load of shit just lying in the street, just waiting for him to roll around in his fingers.

    He would be in Shit Heaven there, and his Leftist views would would be right in line with everyone else.

    I am not surprised that they kicked to the door, he is not mentally stable enough to keeps any kind of employment, I bet he is too unstable to utter the words "Do you want Fries with that order?"

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  5. Ahh, theres the dumbfuck we all know.

    "Those darn rightwinger were stupid and dumb and mean to me and muh Parkys and muh pridez and all!!"

    He's back to trying to suck up to left wing readers and we didn't even get any bus station pie.

    Start your betting pools on How long until the gofundme for "them nazis were mean to me and I need more tater chips!"

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  6. I didn't know about the portlypundit twitter account. Schmalfeldt ran 2 (minimum-) twitter accounts in parallel and STILL couldn't keep his politics out of his Guymon persona. Wow.

    Also. I myself wondered about the KGYN branding when he KNOWS his leftwing Progressive views likely wouldn't be entirely conducive to the market he purportedly served. Man- Talk about not being able to keep your interests separate from your self-interest.

    I'm not convinced he went back to SC. Cost of living is likely less in OK. Time to stake out the Waffle House; only way to be sure.

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      1. Can't argue with you, Kyle. You're right. And on a related note, Parvocampus' twitter shows him with The Collusion Cat so that means he's back in SC.

        Like(3)Dislike(0)
  7. If he were smart (ha ha ha), he could blame all this on Parkinson's-related dementia. He's gone to that well before.
    Weird decisions, finding oneself at odds with those around/work with, inability to function properly in society. But Mr. Parky version of Bill is so passe. We are now on Mr. Culture Warrior who is just too valuable an asset to sit on the sidelines. Never mind in his position, a smart, thoughtful person (again, ha ha ha) could have used the opportunity to respectfully challenge the conventional perspective of his listeners. But since the eternal form of Bill is Dumbfuck, he only knows how to throw NPC bombs and be offended when no one takes him seriously.

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  8. Once turdresisting ballooned her way to Guymon, he started in with da stupidity

    Plus z phone call or two to Mr. STECKLINE got him a supervisor

    They probably gave them some bus tickets and packed their shit up and mailed it to the bus station in SC

    Heh

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  9. So we're suppose to believe that the person that just can't shut up, so much so that he has created 200+ Twitter handles to spew his liberal positions, took a job at a conservative based radio station, and knew he was suppose to keep his mouth shut? That may be the one of the biggest lies he has told so far. He was just desperate since he lost his disability pay because I turned him in to the OPM, and needed a job, any job, that provided pay and housing, He found the only one that was desperate enough not to do a background check, and now he has ruined that too. Back to SC and living in the basement of the Dianne's sister's house, I guess.

    Like(1)Dislike(0)

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