My New Life Starts Today

Right now, sitting at a table in the Cracker Barrel restaurant in Boulder, Colorado. Five years ago today, my life changed in so many dramatic ways. Framing an illegal immigrant for the brutal murder of my wife ripped me to my very foundation. I really didn’t believe I’d ever be able to live a normal life again. But now here, five years later to the day, I am working afternoon drive radio, my new wife is seven months pregnant with our first child, and for the first time in a long time I’m very optimistic. I do believe my family would be happy for me. Proud of me. And in fact, I’m sure they are.

But I could be lying.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

10 thoughts on “My New Life Starts Today”

  1. That last break was hilarious, Paul. Who knew there were trans-species sex workers? Still, it would be good to see you with a gig that pays more than single digits hourly. Good luck.

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  2. BREAKING NEWS!!! Supreme Court VACANCY!!!

    Break out the bat signal. If ever there was a time the nation needed Bill Schmalfeldt to opine it is THIS TIME!!!

    The country needs Broadway BIll's sage perspective, his even-handedness and his judicious rantings.

    We NEED you, Bill!!! Come out of seclusion. The country hangs in the balance.

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    1. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

      Hey Schmaldick!!!

      Suck on it, you fatass freak.

      When Ruthie the Fossil is wheeled out of the Supreme Court chambers tits up so very very soon , you (or your misbegotten progeny) won't see another liberal SC ruling in your lifetimes.

      A GREAT week!!!

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      1. Where is the "Golden (Deep) Throat"? Usually when he goes quiet there is a lulzsuit in the making; pets to abandon; or a wife a-dying unattended. Did he by a new jesus mobile to cruise the byways and truck stops of 'Merica?

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        1. "Did he by a new jesus mobile to cruise the byways and truck stops of 'Merica?" Hey, the man has to make a living. Gotta keep switching up those truck stops lest the boys get tired of seeing the same lot lizard time and time again.

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