Yeah, About That…

A WEEK?

A whole week?

You’re losing touch, DUMBFUCK. It used to be “By 5:00 PM tomorrow, or I’ll take everything I have to the Jasperville Weekly Coupon Clipper & Bird Cage Liner and ruin your life!”

Sometimes you couldn’t even wait that long.

Now you’re waiting a week?

You must have an extra special “Okay, MJ, just one more week, and this time I really mean it!” announcement planned for when he ignores you again.

That should be FUN.

Free lesson for the day, out of the goodness of my heart:

There are many ways that you could end all the perceived butthurt that you feel is constantly flowing your way.

You could have gone off and silently run your stupid little Internet radio station (did I tell you I have a radio station, too? It’s called iTunes with Headphones, and it is #1 in its target demographic!), but you didn’t. You left yourself in the public eye, inviting fresh ridicule and parody every day.

You are to blame for all your suffering. I know you don’t believe that, but you can’t point at the people you have repeatedly sued and tell them “you are to blame for what happens next, not me” and not expect me to throw that shit right back into your yard three-fold (your rules, not mine…and STILL KICKING YOUR ASS).

I digress.

As I said, there are many ways to end  the butthurt.

In my opinion, the best one for you is…

It’s short, fat and slow, just like you. And sometimes, it does a job, too.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

2 thoughts on “Yeah, About That…”

  1. Regarding the 'A whole week?' thing...

    Know that things move a little slower in The South. Gotta' take time to smell the waffles. Enjoy the sunsets from your off-beach apartment. Watch the fluid-level in the JWR bottle go down and down and down. Hic! Plus, M'uh Parkinsons gets in the way like you wouldn't believe. Why, oh why, won't you believe?

    Also, Doom Clocks ain't what they used to be.

    Apparently.

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  2. Where's the death threat kitten? Asking for a a poor, fat, bourbon-swilling grifter and a cowardly, lying, rapist, Parkinson's Faking friend.

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