— Bill Schmalfeldt (@TrumpThumpCast) April 23, 2018
I want to take this moment to reveal that well-known internet stalker Bill Schmalfeldt has published yet another book!
This man who once lived under the protection of NINJANUNS in Wisconsin, trying to re-connect with his Catholic heritage while simultaneously posting photographs of his ass on Twitter, would like to promote his book in which he calls upon his deep and thorough knowledge of Scripture, which even the Devil can use for his purposes, to indict, insult and attack Americans he cannot understand.
Remember that Bill Schmalfeldt, Progressive Warrior, retweets others saying we should love our pets, while conveniently forgetting that he has abandoned no fewer than five animals (three dogs, two cats, six if you count Balloon Animals) during his travels of the last four years or so.
Remember that Bill Schmalfeldt, Tolerant Liberal, is the author of tweets, blog posts, radio skits and podcasts which include the rape of children, racism, misogyny, anti-Semitism, anti-Christian bigotry, general hatred and an appalling failure to understand or apply the basic principles of the English language to the written and spoken word.
Remember that Bill Schmalfeldt, passionate romantic, who admitted that the most wonderful thing about his soulmate was that she made him “aspire to be decent” (I shudder to speculate what he was that he though being “decent” would be some quantum improvement), was blogging for butthurt and checking email at the moment his beloved First Date Soulmate gasped her final poisoned breath in 2015.
Remember that Bill Schmalfeldt, prolific self-published author, has had several books removed from the digital bookshelves thanks to his impossibly liberal interpretation of Copyright law and the Fair Use Doctrine, to wit: “Anything I steal from you is Fair Use, anything you steal from me is FEDRUHL CRAHMS! Because I said so.” So if you intend to purchase this book for anything other than evidence of likely wrongdoing by the author, better hurry. Also, shame on you. You would probably get more edification reading a treatise on the proper methodologies for the slaughter of beef cattle – at least you wind up with tasty steaks. You might even get to use a chain saw!
So, this is me, spreading the word as requested: Bill Schmalfeldt has a new book, and if you buy it, you deserve every bit of pointage, laughery and mockification that comes your way.
I’m sure Ted Bundy wrote a memoir that has more socially redeeming value, why not try to find that instead?