Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!

How is it that a DUMBFUCK like yourself, who just ten short days ago was on his way to North Dakota…

…suddenly swerved into Iowa and instantly became an overbearing, pretentious, crude, anti-Semitic, woman-hating, poop-loving, Cub Scout obsessed, lying, racist expert on Iowa politics without even having established residency?

Of course, you’re an expert in EVERYTHING, judging by the way you were already spouting on #returntonodak politics before you even left the Inflat-a-skank behind forever in South Carolina, having failed to separate her from family the way you did Captive Nurse 1.0.

Say, how bad did you screw over that North Dakota newspaper anyway, you fickle, worthless sack of pig vomit?

Dunning-Kruger is a helluva drug!

Looking forward to the day in May when KDSN wishes you into the radio cornfield…though I’m sure the papers will be served before that happens.

KDSN Radio
1530 Ridge Road
Denison, Iowa 51442
Phone: 712.263.3141
Fax: 712.263.2088
Office Hours:
Monday – Friday 8:00 AM – 5:00 PM
Saturday 8:00 AM – 12:00 Noon

 

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

17 thoughts on “Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!”

  1. I got dibs on "he will not make it to his on air date"

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    1. Shit Shit Shit......You beat me to it. He immediately turns every interaction he has on Twitter into an attack, its all he knows. I'm sure KDSN Radio management is seeing the same things we are seeing. Bill has absolutely no idea how to positively interact with those he encounters in his personal & professional life. He will not last long enough to begin his first day of work with KDSN.

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      1. Yup - still doing EXACTLY the same thing that got him fired from the Examiner years ago.

        He’s learned nothing.

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        1. He learned how to roll his shit into little balls, sniff it and then run and post about it on the internet...

          So he has that going for him...

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        2. If only that could be a marketable skill. Perhaps he could join all the other gimps at the nearest side show.

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      2. No one from there seems to be following him. Not sure they know what Twitter is. They clearly don't know what Google is.

        Should he take the mike, even if he never breathes a word into it that isn't the station ID or a funeral notice, he's still going to be IN THE WORKPLACE.

        No way that lasts.

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    2. Ah, sorry man-

      The Ruling Council has looked at your bet and declared it invalid because of lack of specificity. JD, may I suggest you pick a date? Any date but it has to be singular. Look at this way: What if some other Lickspittle or Zombie says, "I wager $10K Schmalfeldt will screw himself over before Thanksgiving"? Somebody comes in behind and says, "No. I bet $10K Parvocampus lights himself up before the end of October." And then another places a bet on a even earlier date range between now and then...
      Whenever 'then' is.

      You see our problem.

      Preemption not being the least. Plus, guaranteed payouts mess with the buffer I've built in for overhead expenses. The two luxury strato-buses we rented for the last field trip to Iowa time weren't free. Nor was all the food and adult beverages. But worth it right? Good time had by all? Right? And we still have the blue sports coat left on Bus #2. So claim it, somebody, please.

      Bottom line is, NO payouts for the obvious (Bill Schmalfeldt is a awful human being. Or, the sun will come up tomorrow.) There has to be a element of chance involved. To keep it fair. And to preserve our finances.

      Note that bets on discernible events are legit. theman9876 has identified a bet-worthy event but has NOT (yet) placed a bet that KDSN will retract their employment offer before Schmalfeldt's first day onsite. By the way... for theman9876: No more bitcoin. Your last bet gave us fits upon conversion. Avoiding Fed Reserve scrutiny costs way too much.

      Look. I don't like being the bad guy in these things but we ARE running a professional organization. The idiots at Team Themis don't even compare. So please...

      Be cool.

      Re-submit your bet.

      And best of luck to you.

      Thanks, John "Minenmyown" Doe for understanding.

      Same to all the rest of you too.

      /s/ The Management

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      1. W...I realize that you this stuff seriously and like to run a tight ship, but I literally laughed all the way through this corporate ass chewing. Thanks for making my day!!!

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        1. Oh it gets worse. Here I am coming up on 11PM on a Friday night and I'm STILL in the OFFICE! Not happy people. I am NOT happy. Bubbles and Crystal both are waiting for me in the bar and here I am still on the phone to Vegas. MGM Grand won't touch our action. Caesars says 'No.' I'm still waiting to hear back from both Paris and The Rio. Not looking good. Therefore-

          Some announcements: First, NO bets will be taken on whether KDSN allows Schmalfeldt to actually take the mike. At all. No bets. Hear me? Your money, for bets already placed, will be refunded to your Cayman accounts.

          What's going on is all the bets are entirely one-sided. Bookies say the odds are so out of whack nobody is willing to take the other side of the bet. I'm now looking for a Exacto. Is that 2 things? Two things to pay off?

          So what I need is 'the second race.' What's a second condition, one that has some potential VARIABILITY People, that we can attach to 'KDSN says No Thanks'. Gotta' make this interesting. Tell me what the second condition/event should be. And then you can lay out your money.

          We're talking high-finance.

          Not least because the yellow stickie marked 'w' just got moved up from 23 to number 7 (with a bullet!). Said stickie also got moved to the left of the string of yarn hanging vertically which marks the divide between East Coast and West Coast.

          DOX ALERT! DOX ALERT! ALL HANDS TO RESEARCH STATIONS! "Let's see- He's indicated he's in the West so all I have to do is subpoena all the west coast ISPs for people online at both approximately 705 and 1045. Yeah, it will be some work but the noose tightens." Thunder cracks in the background. The wind rises. Storm tonight on the West Coast; you can look it up. What? You think I'm making all this up?

          Don't care. What I do care is if any of you can suggest a side-bet we can attach to the first. The first being, "KDSN will back off before committing to Schmalfeldt employment."

          Remember I said the Exacto-thing is open? The Trifecta-thing is not. The Trifecta is that Schmalfeldt signs for a lease before finding out he doesn't have employment.

          That I can tell you.

          Thanks

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        2. Second leg: Who will DUMBFUCK blame? Krendler? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!? Eric? Ash? MJ? All of the above?

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  2. Good grief. He goes straight from nothing to vitriolic without pausing to consult a fact! I'm sure the management is going to love how he represents their brand.

    Phone, train.

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  3. You know how you keep from having your employer dragged into Internet arguments? Don't even mention your employer online. Especially don't put them in the first sentence in your twitter bio when you're starting fights on twitter.

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  4. The sheer stupidity. The total lack of self-awareness. The oily crassness. The smug assumption of almost-adequacy. All in a single tweet. That is simply amazing.

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  5. Someone with enough time on their hands to engage with Bill on the facts: "AZ was the kidnap capitol of the US in 2010!"

    Bill: "I’m sure it’s a huge problem, Tyler, one that I’ve never really seen any news about. Was this happening at the same time Hillary was selling child prostitutes out of a pizza joint?

    ABC News, 2009--http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=6848672&page=1-- "In what officials caution is now a dangerous and even deadly crime wave, Phoenix, Arizona has become the kidnapping capital of America, with more incidents than any other city in the world outside of Mexico City and over 370 cases last year alone."

    Often wrong, never in doubt.

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    1. It's very hard to see any news of any kind when your cranial cavity is lodged so far up your rectal aperture that you have to have a plexiglass belly button to see which way your fat carcass is pointed. Especially when said belly button is generally covered by putrid rolls of fat.

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  6. I don't know what's more amusing: his blatant retardedness when he attempts to desperately punch above his political weight class, or that once again he moved to a red state (where liberty and freedom is valued) instead of s blue state (where your income is valued by the government to support leeches and illegals).

    If these places are so safe, put your money where your shit-encrusted mouth is, William Schmalfeldt, winner of over a dozen restraining orders against him and 0 for 8 in trying to make butthurt a tort in the legal system.

    Oh, and yes, William, I WILL be celebrating the day you get shitcanned once again because you STILL haven't figured out its your own actions that sink you.

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