I have a somewhat different take, which I was unable to address yesterday thanks to real world commitments.
After the complete rant, read on:
Yes, Aaron. I was “misdiagnosed” by an expert on the subject 18 years ago today. In that time I learned how to fake misfiring neurons in my brain to FOOL doctors who were doing my deep brain stimulation. But the Hogewash Neurology Council says I’m faking it. How can one argue?
A man who cleans the dogshit from his wife’s kennels is also an expert on progressive neurological disorders? Imagine my surprise. Now scoop up that shit, Doggy Style before your wife gets sore!
Seems to me that if anyone seriously believes I am faking my diagnosis, they owe it to the taxpayers to contact the Office of Personnel Management and DEMAND that they review my case. Contact Social Security, too. Be ready to identify yourself and provide proof. Cowards. #DARE!
I’m sure that the professionals at OPM and Social Security will be more than happy to take the word of anonymous cowards and a shit-encrusted kennel cleaner over the evidence obtained from actual medical professionals. Trump-sucking morons!
Now, before Hoggy’s soft-skulled amen choir goes running to the OPM and Social Security to disclose the “fraud” they say I am perpetrating on the government, a word of advice. They won’t listen to anonymous people. And providing false info to a federal agency is a felony. Ready?
I mean, if you are SURE I am “faking” my 18-year struggle with Parkinson’s, how can you call yourself a PATRIOT if you let me get away with it? You OWE it to AMERICA to turn me in. Step up, state your name, provide your proof. Unless you are afraid. You aren’t AFRAID, are you?
My God, such a rich lode of Slovenian horse crap! Where do I begin?
I guess we should start with the reams of medical records that Bill Schmalfeldt has posted on the internet as proof of his diagnosis. This would naturally include the several visits to doctors where his symptoms were reported, misdiagnosed and treated by other means such as ineffective medications, dietary changes and restrictions, exercise and such.
For example, stop smoking cigars and drinking the occasional store brand bourbon.
But we haven’t seen any of those, have we?
No we have not.
Why is that, do you think?
Perhaps we have not seen such records because Bill Schmalfeldt has a long and colorful history of being a fucking liar.
He has said many times in many ways that he could not possibly “fake misfiring neurons in my brain to FOOL doctors who were doing my deep brain stimulation.”
But that is all he has ever done – say it.
And we can trust whatever he says. We can just take his word for it! Because Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.
More to the point, we can trust what he says his doctors will say. Because Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.
A digression: Can a man who cleans dogshit from his wife’s kennels (as Bill Schmalfeldt, who happens to be a fucking liar), become an expert on progressive neurological disorders?
Yes, he can.
All he has to do is pick up a scholarly paper or a book. Or two. Or seven. Or twenty.
Has Scott Hinckley done this? I trust that he’ll let us know if he thinks it’s important enough.
In the main, however, it makes no difference. Because Bill Schmalfeldt is no more an expert on progressive neurological disorders than he is an expert on syphilis or catching farts.
Now let me make this clear – I am not saying that Bill Schmalfeldt has ever had syphilis. Nor am I saying that he has NOT ever had syphilis. How could I possibly know?
I do have an opinion on whether he is a syphilitic catchfart (that is, a catchfart with properties and behaviors resembling those of someone who has syphilis), but that was litigated some years back and dismissed with prejudice, so I feel no particular need to cover that ground anew.
Bill Schmalfeldt is no expert on progressive neurological disorders.
Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.
And for the record, scooping up doggy shit, as fucking liar Bill Schmalfeldt maintains is the extent of Scott Hinckley’s pet care expertise, is a noble task. To clean up after one’s beloved pet is an act of care and of love. In every case, it makes Scott far more praiseworthy than a man who writes of losing one of his dogs on Christmas, saying in effect “Oh, well, if she doesn’t come back, I hope she finds a decent home, or at least doesn’t get run over.”
It is more praise worthy than that same man writing of standing outside with his dogs and pondering that spending the rest of his life cleaning up after Shiloh and Raven is beneath him.
It is more praiseworthy than that same man moving from Maryland to Wisconsin and abandoning those dogs.
It is more praiseworthy than that same man moving from Iowa to South Carolina and abandoning another dog to the same fate. Also a cat, but I favor dogs, so I’m not quite so broken up about that. YMMV.
And who is that unworthy pig of a man? Bill Schmalfeldt, who is also, among other things, a fucking liar, who apparently thinks he is too good to pick up dogshit.
Got news: he isn’t good enough to eat dog shit.
If anyone seriously believes that Bill Schmalfeldt is faking his diagnosis, does that person owe it to the taxpayers to contact the Office of Personnel Management, the Social Security Administration and the Department of Veterans Affairs (I mean, he/she/ze ought to be thorough, ought he/she/xhe not?) and DEMAND they review his case?
Well…yes. But that’s really an individual choice, and should only be undertaken if there is a reasonable chance that action will result.
I believe the decision to take such action should be made with the same consideration and seriousness that Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar applies to decisions such as
– Getting a driver’s license and buying a car years after giving up both due to his progressive neurological disorder
– Wasting life insurance money on a new Scootypuff only to abandon it when kicked out of his lakeshore apartment
– Calling someone’s employer to try to get them fired
– Starting a GoFundMe campaign to scam people out of – oops! I mean, beg for $15,000 to make an impossible 35 day road trip across America (by the way, did you ever return that $25?)
– Filing another LOLsuit
– Breaking a lease and moving cross country without first arranging a place to live
– Reporting false crimes to the police after curb-rubbing his tires to death
– Signing up for yet another free trial period on yet another internet radio platform in order to create yet another internet radio station that no one will ever listen to
PLEASE –ADD YOUR OWN CONTRIBUTIONS IN THE COMMENTS!
So if you do decide to make contact with the inspectors general of any of these Federal agencies, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.
Reasons which may or may not include, based on your own priorities, the fact that Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.
And YES! Definitely be ready to identify yourself and provide proof!
To the Office of Personnel Management:
To the Social Security Administration:
And to the Department of Veterans Affairs:
Or, you know…NOT.
Seems to me (a phrase which is a classic Bill Schmalfeldt writing crutch) Bill Schmalfeldt is as expert at the federal whistleblower process as he is at progressive neurological disorders. Which is to say, he can’t even fake it well.
Because Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar. And a COWARD. A coward who lies to federal judges about his supposed disability to avoid having to travel to show up in court.
I am also sure that “the professionals at OPM and Social Security will be more than happy to take the word of anonymous cowards and a shit-encrusted kennel cleaner over the evidence obtained from actual medical professionals,” mostly because of the complete lack of evidence available from actual medical professionals regarding his diagnosis.
Evidence from career bureaucrats that Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar has conned? I’m sure there’s plenty of that.
Evidence from his superiors who probably were glad of a convenient excuse to shove Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar out their door with a lifetime stipend of OPM (other people’s money)? Who among the Zombie Horde wouldn’t give someone else’s money – and a fuckton of it! – to make him go away forever?
Evidence from medical professionals, bound to a code of ethics, who could lose their livelihood for knowingly making a false diagnosis?
Eh – not so much.
And as to that word of advice: “They won’t listen to anonymous people?”
Asked and answered, counselor.
Because Bill Schmalfeldt is, as we all know, a FUCKING LIAR.
Also a misogynist, a racist, a bigot, an anti-Semite, a terrorist supporter, a pornographer, a Stolen Valor veteran, and a moron. But that’s eight other posts. (Seven, actually – we covered Stolen Valor quite some time back, here and here.)
And providing false info to a federal agency is a felony, huh?
I don’t suppose that would include telling a federal court that you are unable – due to your disability – to travel from North Carolina to Maryland when ordered to appear…
— Bill Schmalfeldt (@wmschmalfeldt) January 7, 2018
“Some things in life are worth the voyage.” Apparently, complying with an order from a federal judge is not one of those things.
In case you forgot…Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.
On a related note, I’m sure you all saw the same thing I did when you looked at this picture of the man who says his progressive neurological disorder
you know those never, ever get better, right?
is so advanced that he can no longer raise his arms above shoulder height, didn’t you?
You saw that Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar, especially when it comes to having a progressive neurological disorder.
As to the remainder…do we OWE it to AMERICA to turn him in? Do we OWE it to AMERICA to throw this lying DUMBFUCK into the briar patch of a country club federal prison? Do we OWE it to AMERICA to allow Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar to live the rest of his Parkinsons-free days enjoying three hots and a cot on our dime?
I say thee nay!
There are many other much more creative, much more entertaining and far cheaper solutions available.
Baseball bats and tire irons, for instance. I know Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar is more than passing familiar with those.
Or a couple of 45 lb. plates, 20 feet of steel chain, a couple strong padlocks and a rented boat.
25 or 30 gallons of muriatic acid and a bathtub.
A can of spray foam insulation and a dental cheek retractor.
The possibilities are endless. Another chance for you to be creative in the comments…
But all of that is wishful fantasy.
Don’t forget the whole point of this post. I think I have been abundantly transparent throughout….
We don’t have to show that Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar does not have Parkinson’s disease. We don’t have to show that Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar is faking his disabilities.
Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar has already done the heavy lifting for us.
Because he can’t help himself.
Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.