Back In the Game, Using His Own Name?

Before all else, I want to tip my hat to Sonoran Conservative for his excellent commentary on the Bill Schmalfeldt rant below.  If you haven’t already checked it out, I recommend you do so.

I have a somewhat different take, which I was unable to address yesterday thanks to real world commitments.

After the complete rant, read on:

Yes, Aaron. I was “misdiagnosed” by an expert on the subject 18 years ago today. In that time I learned how to fake misfiring neurons in my brain to FOOL doctors who were doing my deep brain stimulation. But the Hogewash Neurology Council says I’m faking it. How can one argue?

A man who cleans the dogshit from his wife’s kennels is also an expert on progressive neurological disorders? Imagine my surprise. Now scoop up that shit, Doggy Style before your wife gets sore!

Seems to me that if anyone seriously believes I am faking my diagnosis, they owe it to the taxpayers to contact the Office of Personnel Management and DEMAND that they review my case. Contact Social Security, too. Be ready to identify yourself and provide proof. Cowards. #DARE!

I’m sure that the professionals at OPM and Social Security will be more than happy to take the word of anonymous cowards and a shit-encrusted kennel cleaner over the evidence obtained from actual medical professionals. Trump-sucking morons!

Now, before Hoggy’s soft-skulled amen choir goes running to the OPM and Social Security to disclose the “fraud” they say I am perpetrating on the government, a word of advice. They won’t listen to anonymous people. And providing false info to a federal agency is a felony. Ready?

I mean, if you are SURE I am “faking” my 18-year struggle with Parkinson’s, how can you call yourself a PATRIOT if you let me get away with it? You OWE it to AMERICA to turn me in. Step up, state your name, provide your proof. Unless you are afraid. You aren’t AFRAID, are you?

My God, such a rich lode of Slovenian horse crap! Where do I begin?

I guess we should start with the reams of medical records that Bill Schmalfeldt has posted on the internet as proof of his diagnosis.  This would naturally include the several visits to doctors where his symptoms were reported, misdiagnosed and treated by other means such as ineffective medications, dietary changes and restrictions, exercise and such.

For example, stop smoking cigars and drinking the occasional store brand bourbon.

But we haven’t seen any of those, have we?

No we have not.

Why is that, do you think?

Perhaps we have not seen such records because Bill Schmalfeldt has a long and colorful history of being a fucking liar.

He has said many times in many ways that he could not possibly “fake misfiring neurons in my brain to FOOL doctors who were doing my deep brain stimulation.”

But that is all he has ever done – say it.

And we can trust whatever he says. We can just take his word for it! Because Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.

More to the point, we can trust what he says his doctors will say.  Because Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.

A digression: Can a man who cleans dogshit from his wife’s kennels (as Bill Schmalfeldt, who happens to be a fucking liar), become an expert on progressive neurological disorders?

Yes, he can.

All he has to do is pick up a scholarly paper or a book. Or two. Or seven. Or twenty.

Has Scott Hinckley done this?  I trust that he’ll let us know if he thinks it’s important enough.

In the main, however, it makes no difference.  Because Bill Schmalfeldt is no more an expert on progressive neurological disorders than he is an expert on syphilis or catching farts.

Now let me make this clear – I am not saying that Bill Schmalfeldt has ever had syphilis. Nor am I saying that he has NOT ever had syphilis.  How could I possibly know?

I do have an opinion on whether he is a syphilitic catchfart (that is, a catchfart with properties and behaviors resembling those of someone who has syphilis), but that was litigated some years back and dismissed with prejudice, so I feel no particular need to cover that ground anew.

Bill Schmalfeldt is no expert on progressive neurological disorders.

Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.

And for the record, scooping up doggy shit, as fucking liar Bill Schmalfeldt maintains is the extent of Scott Hinckley’s pet care expertise, is a noble task.  To clean up after one’s beloved pet is an act of care and of love. In every case, it makes Scott far more praiseworthy than a man who writes of losing one of his dogs on Christmas, saying in effect “Oh, well, if she doesn’t come back, I hope she finds a decent home, or at least doesn’t get run over.”

It is more praise worthy than that same man writing of standing outside with his dogs and pondering that spending the rest of his life cleaning up after Shiloh and Raven is beneath him.

It is more praiseworthy than that same man moving from Maryland to Wisconsin and abandoning those dogs.

It is more praiseworthy than that same man moving from Iowa to South Carolina and abandoning another dog to the same fate. Also a cat, but I favor dogs, so I’m not quite so broken up about that. YMMV.

And who is that unworthy pig of a man? Bill Schmalfeldt, who is also, among other things, a fucking liar, who apparently thinks he is too good to pick up dogshit.

Got news: he isn’t good enough to eat dog shit.


If anyone seriously believes that Bill Schmalfeldt is faking his diagnosis, does that person owe it to the taxpayers to contact the Office of Personnel Management, the Social Security Administration and the Department of Veterans Affairs (I mean, he/she/ze ought to be thorough, ought he/she/xhe not?) and DEMAND they review his case?

Well…yes. But that’s really an individual choice, and should only be undertaken if there is a reasonable chance that action will result.

I believe the decision to take such action should be made with the same consideration and seriousness that Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar applies to decisions such as

– Getting a driver’s license and buying a car years after giving up both due to his progressive neurological disorder
– Wasting life insurance money on a new Scootypuff only to abandon it when kicked out of his lakeshore apartment
– Calling someone’s employer to try to get them fired
– Starting a GoFundMe campaign to scam people out of – oops! I mean, beg for $15,000 to make an impossible 35 day road trip across America (by the way, did you ever return that $25?)
– Filing another LOLsuit
– Breaking a lease and moving cross country without first arranging a place to live
– Reporting false crimes to the police after curb-rubbing his tires to death
– Signing up for yet another free trial period on yet another internet radio platform in order to create yet another internet radio station that no one will ever listen to


So if you do decide to make contact with the inspectors general of any of these Federal agencies, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.

Reasons which may or may not include, based on your own priorities, the fact that Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.

And YES! Definitely be ready to identify yourself and provide proof!

To the Office of Personnel Management:

To the Social Security Administration:

And to the Department of Veterans Affairs:

Or, you know…NOT.

Seems to me (a phrase which is a classic Bill Schmalfeldt writing crutch) Bill Schmalfeldt is as expert at the federal whistleblower process as he is at progressive neurological disorders.  Which is to say, he can’t even fake it well.

Because Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.  And a COWARD. A coward who lies to federal judges about his supposed disability to avoid having to travel to show up in court.

I am also sure that “the professionals at OPM and Social Security will be more than happy to take the word of anonymous cowards and a shit-encrusted kennel cleaner over the evidence obtained from actual medical professionals,” mostly because of the complete lack of evidence available from actual medical professionals regarding his diagnosis.

Evidence from career bureaucrats that Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar has conned? I’m sure there’s plenty of that.

Evidence from his superiors who probably were glad of a convenient excuse to shove Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar out their door with a lifetime stipend of OPM (other people’s money)? Who among the Zombie Horde wouldn’t give someone else’s money – and a fuckton of it! – to make him go away forever?

Evidence from medical professionals, bound to a code of ethics, who could lose their livelihood for knowingly making a false diagnosis?

Eh – not so much.

And as to that word of advice: “They won’t listen to anonymous people?”

Asked and answered, counselor.

Because Bill Schmalfeldt is, as we all know, a FUCKING LIAR.

Also a misogynist, a racist, a bigot, an anti-Semite, a terrorist supporter, a pornographer, a Stolen Valor veteran, and a moron.  But that’s eight other posts. (Seven, actually – we covered Stolen Valor quite some time back, here and here.)

And providing false info to a federal agency is a felony, huh?

I don’t suppose that would include telling a federal court that you are unable – due to your disability – to travel from North Carolina to Maryland when ordered to appear…

would it?

“Some things in life are worth the voyage.” Apparently, complying with an order from a federal judge is not one of those things.

In case you forgot…Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.

On a related note, I’m sure you all saw the same thing I did when you looked at this picture of the man who says his progressive neurological disorder

you know those never, ever get better, right?

is so advanced that he can no longer raise his arms above shoulder height, didn’t you?

You saw that Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar, especially when it comes to having a progressive neurological disorder.

As to the remainder…do we OWE it to AMERICA to turn him in? Do we OWE it to AMERICA to throw this lying DUMBFUCK into the briar patch of a country club federal prison? Do we OWE it to AMERICA to allow Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar to live the rest of his Parkinsons-free days enjoying three hots and a cot on our dime?

I say thee nay!

There are many other much more creative, much more entertaining and far cheaper solutions available.

Baseball bats and tire irons, for instance.  I know Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar is more than passing familiar with those.

Or a couple of 45 lb. plates, 20 feet of steel chain, a couple strong padlocks and a rented boat.

25 or 30 gallons of muriatic acid and a bathtub.

A can of spray foam insulation and a dental cheek retractor.

The possibilities are endless.  Another chance for you to be creative in the comments…

But all of that is wishful fantasy.

Don’t forget the whole point of this post. I think I have been abundantly transparent throughout….

We don’t have to show that Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar does not have Parkinson’s disease. We don’t have to show that Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar is faking his disabilities.

Bill Schmalfeldt the fucking liar has already done the heavy lifting for us.

Because he can’t help himself.

Bill Schmalfeldt is a fucking liar.



Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

16 thoughts on “Back In the Game, Using His Own Name?”

  1. Paul, that was an appropriately brutal and true depiction of events.

  2. Paul, wouldn't it be only 6 other posts? I know that you've occasionally discussed other topics (like you linked), so only 95% of the posts here discuss how he's a moron.

  3. - Driving thousands of miles in one or two days (at least twice) after declaring to a court of being homebound with a panic button
    - Miraculously recovering from a progressive neurological disease after doing household chores (mostly just laundry) for a couple of weeks
    - Failing to get regular checkups with a physician to maintain prescriptions for said progressive neurological disease
    - Claiming cold weather was going to make it fall down and die! when going to court, then moving to Milwaukee, WI, known for its warm balmy weather

  4. How does shit for brains not know for sure that he is not already under review?

  5. I'm not sure the can of spray foam thing will work out.

    Rumor is, when the docs cracked his head open for the surgery, they said "this thing's empty!" and sent a nurse to Home Depot for a couple cans of Great Stuff(tm). They blew up two autoclaves before they decided it didn't really need to be sterile...

    At least that's the rumor going around...

  6. Best. Post. Ever.

    Absolutely sums up this piece of shit.

    Mr. FAKinsons whole speel about the taxpayers, blah blah blah is irrelevamt. Its being done because Fakinsons is a lying, grifting shitbag who deserves to have the chickens come home to roost. This scumball tried to ruin lives, honest lives making an honest living all because this shitbag heard stuff he didn't like. For years his petty, vindictive behaviour went on. And now with everything he himself put out there for review its going to come back to bite him in the ass.

    Its not like people calling him out for faking his disease is new. By my count its been three LOLsuits filed since those first opinions based on shitbag's over sharing. Yet no attempt to LOLsuit it. Why is that?

    Oh, I know why!! Because deep down this grifting scummy piece of shit knows he is faking it and would get absolutely destroyed in court by his own words, actions, and photographs. Not only that, but that evidence then becomes part of a legal public record the ramifications of which should be obvious even to a DUMBFUCK.

    All he has left is bluster and psychological attempts to manipulate people into outing themselves so he can once again go into "I'll try to ruin your life if you expose me" mode. Problem is everyone is onto that. You've used it too many times before. It will never work again.

    You know what I hope also never works again? Your benefit card after we're done with you. I'd like to see jail but if I have to settle for a cardboard box under a bridge before your pathetic "life" is snuffed out, so be it.

    1. Nice post. I used to wonder, just a little, about the fact I'd never seen you and Krendler in the same room at the same time. But now I have. I'm cool.

      Keep up the good work.

      1. I was late to the party. Didnt even know about Mr. Fakinsons until he was featured on the front page of ED. At first I just saw him as a lolcow with the way he thought he could make make his ED entry a courtroom through edits. Then the more I read historically the more it became something above and beyond the lulz. Sure the way he ragequit-rebrands after a cycle of PLM is lulzy but there is a scummy, evil quality about him and the way he tries to ruin lives over BS (pardon the pun) requires a life ruining tactical response an order of magnitude higher than what he has tried to dish out due to being butthurt over words.

        Through his own words and actions he has given us everything needed to make that response happen.

        He's been lucky as fuck IMO but that luck is running out. And when its gone I am going to lulz like I never have before.

        1. Totally agree with you.

          Team Kimberlin is horrifying on so many different levels. And in so many different ways. Never ever lose sight of the fact that Brett Kimberlin The Speedway Bomber is the locus of evil, a incredibly miserable person and less adroit at playing Maryland judges than he wishes.


          Dear God, is that boy dumb. Oh yes. I agree with you that it's objectionable the way Bill Schmalfeldt goes to great effort to ruin others lives. I hate that. I'm tempted to take Schmalfeldt on straight up (Hi Bill. Please explain Venezuela), disclose my identity (though I don't know why that should matter; I'm perfectly happy arguing with somebodys proxy) except that Bill would go after me personally.

          Remember the mantra of The Left: "The Personal is The Political." That way lies Totalitarianism (capital T). Who you are, what you are, your performance, your prospects and future prospects WILL BE evaluated in terms of what Bill Schmalfeldt (and Brett Kimberlin The Speedway Bomber) thinks about your stand on their issues. That's the 'meta' undercurrent of all this. It's not so much a Free Speech issue as Dave Alexander espouses- It's ultimately about thought crime. There be dragons. Although I DO understand Dave's point.

          A little closer- What I find horrifying about Schmalfeldt is his doxxing; up to and including family and employers. That sucks. Can't just keep it between the two of us who disagree. Gotta' drag in as many others as possible. Bill Schmalfeldt sucks. I hate the way he conducts argumentative business.

          Schmalfeldt's doxxing annoys me most.

          On the other hand.

          He has cost others time and money. John Hoge, mostly. It's indicative of his mindset and basic intelligence that Bill Schmalfeldt said about LOLSuit VIII (roughly, in so many words and not exactly but my point is valid), "If I win, cool, but if I lose I'll just walk off with the love of my life. And live happily ever after." No harm no foul. Right?

          That's cavalier. Especially with respect to consequences. I agree with you that Bill Schmalfeldt needs to pay for his inability to calculate potential costs given personal actions. I hope John Hoge goes after Bill Schmalfeldt so that he pays financially. Life ruining, you say? Agreed.

          I need to send John some money.

          I urge all of you to do the same.

          Let me get back to you, all of you, on that.

  7. I'm really busy this weekend, but Bill Schmalfeldt's challenge is accepted. I will report him for disability fraud to all the appropriate institutions when I have some free time - likely Monday.

    Case in point about Bill being a liar? He has claimed many times that he sent me that gruesome photo of his dying wife. He never did. He has no proof of that. Liar.

    And he still doesn't know what I do for a living. I have a different business from my wife's business. And neither of us own a kennel of any type.

    And I still say: He is faking having Parkinson's Disease. He will have to prove it in court. (BTW - the only certain way to diagnosis PD is post-mortem.)


Comments are closed.