Almost Quote of the Day

“Let me put it this way: if you ever start feeling sentimental, go to Clinton, Iowa. When you get here, walk into a florist and buy a bunch of flowers. Then you take those flowers to the Goodwill in the Clover Hills Shopping Center at the corner of N 11th St. and 13th Ave N, go to the knick-knacks section and look for a Really Useful Urn with a clock, and lay those flowers right there. Because you will be standing at the final resting place of Gail Schmalfeldt.”

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

9 thoughts on “Almost Quote of the Day”

  1. I believe he claims to have a little bit of it with him in a locket. It is probably some cheap cigar ashes he flicked into the urn while he was in one of his drunken stupors.

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  2. You're shitting me. He pawned his first date soulmate's urn to a goodwill?

    Just when my opinion of this valor stealing parkinsons faking shitbag can't get any lower...

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        1. Does that mean I can't say "Shit" either because he likes to roll it up and sniff it?

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  3. Oh please.
    that ugly ass thing was in the landfill the day Dumbfuck first spotted rent-a-lady boi doing tricks in the liquor store parking lot.

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