Almost Quote of the Day

“Let me put it this way: if you ever start feeling sentimental, go to Clinton, Iowa. When you get here, walk into a florist and buy a bunch of flowers. Then you take those flowers to the Goodwill in the Clover Hills Shopping Center at the corner of N 11th St. and 13th Ave N, go to the knick-knacks section and look for a Really Useful Urn with a clock, and lay those flowers right there. Because you will be standing at the final resting place of Gail Schmalfeldt.”


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

9 thoughts on “Almost Quote of the Day”

  1. I believe he claims to have a little bit of it with him in a locket. It is probably some cheap cigar ashes he flicked into the urn while he was in one of his drunken stupors.

  2. You're shitting me. He pawned his first date soulmate's urn to a goodwill?

    Just when my opinion of this valor stealing parkinsons faking shitbag can't get any lower...

        1. Does that mean I can't say "Shit" either because he likes to roll it up and sniff it?

  3. Oh please.
    that ugly ass thing was in the landfill the day Dumbfuck first spotted rent-a-lady boi doing tricks in the liquor store parking lot.


Comments are closed.