Drawing A Straight Line From Bill Schmalfeldt to Pedophilia, Racism, Misogyny, Anti-Semitism, Drugs & Terrorism

THE FOLLOWING IS A PARODY OF THE POST LINKED HERE: http://www.breitbartunmasked.com/2017/10/09/drawing-a-straight-line-between-robert-mercer-and-nazis/, WRITTEN BY BILL PRESTON-SCHMALFELDT (oh, how PRECIOUS!!) ON OCTOBER 9, 2017.

SAFE LINK: http://archive.is/jYG4S

It’s a simple matter of “unnecessary air-quote” connecting the dots “unnecessary air-unquote:” Drawing a straight line from transient left wing idiot, Stolen Valor veteran, welfare whore and cyberstalking harasser Bill Schmalfeldt to brass knuckles reputation management lawfare aficionado Brett Kimberlin, the convicted Speedway Bomber, domestic terrorist, drug dealer and forger, one-time wannabe rockstar and champion of the movement to, um… “romance” underage girls in the name of pedophilia, a philosophy that is the direct opposite of normal, though not for lack of effort on the part of the enlightened, progressive Left. (It emphasizes that romantic and sexual relationships between adults and children who are legally and emotionally incapable of consent is perfectly fine.

A recent piece in BuzzFeed (which we aren’t going to link because we’re assholes like that here at Cabin Boy Unread) had absolutely nothing to do with the relationship between welfare whore Bill Schmalfeldt and adjudicated pedophile Brett Kimberlin, but you can find plenty of information here.

Schmalfeldt is currently in his second stint as the editor of Breitbart Unmasked (no, I won’t link to it – malware warnings), a website connected to Kimberlin and given to publishing multiple fawning profiles about him while ignoring his criminal history and epic failures at shutting up his critics via lawfare. Schmalfeldt, who tries to portray himself as a glib, sarcastic satirical genius and investigative journalist on this website as well as hundreds of other failed blogs, podcast channels and Twitter accounts he has created, then abandoned or had yanked from public view over the last decade, has also authored many self-published masturbatory fantasies disguised as “exposés” of people he has continuously tried and failed to sue for defamation and other false claims. Many of these books have also been pulled from online bookshelves due to copyright violations.

There’s not much about Schmalfeldt’s public rantings to love.

  • He has written, performed and offered for sale audio skits featuring Cub Scouts discussing and engaging in homosexual acts with one another in pornographic detail;
  • He has written, performed and offered for sale audio skits referring to African American characters as “boy” and referring to them as house servants;
  • He has written, produced and performed audio skits in which he imagines himself disinterring dead babies and eating them;
  • He has published photos of himself eating live kittens;
  • He has referred to Ali Akbar, an African American, as “boy;”
  • After a confederate suggested that the wife of one of the targets of his harassment should be raped, Schmalfeldt helpfully provided the street address on Twitter, while not in any way agreeing with the whole rape thing (wink, wink);
  • He has additionally said, dozens if not hundreds of times, that this same target of his harassment pimped out his wife, while not in any way suggesting that the wife herself was a whore (nudge, nudge);
  • He has insulted the Filipino spouse of a Virginia attorney by suggesting that she was a mail order bride, and that the lawyer might “send her packing back to Asia where he purchased her;” (say no more, say no more)
  • Even though he himself barely graduated high school, and may in fact have been graduated just to get him out of the local educational system, he often refers to women who offer opinions he cannot understand as “dim twats,” “stupid cunts,” “cum-gargling fuckwits” or any of the multiple possible combinations thereof;
  • He has made anti-Semitic statements referring to slaving away like Israelites for Pharoah;
  • He and his insipid balloon animal of a girlfriend regularly insult their perceived adversaries – and believe me, do they ever have to punch up – with homosexual slurs such as gays, fags and faggots;
  • He has published gleeful Twitter rants apophatically referring to one columnist as a “closeted repressed homosexual,” a “simpering, limp-wristed glory-hole queen,” an “angry, self-hating homosexual” and a “pillow-biting studded leather collar-wearing bukkake boy,” as if such sexual orientations were off the normal scales and somehow worthy of scorn;
  • On at least one occasion, he has photoshopped his perceived enemies into homosexual pornographic photographs, as if being homosexual were something to be ashamed of.

The things he says in private are far worse, far more insidious and despicable.

An anonymous but trusted source has provided Thinking Man’s Zombie with communications with Schmalfeldt, in which Schmalfeldt shares his glee over bashing peoples’ skulls with rocks, glorifying over the imagery of kicking people out of their homes, taking away their children’s inheritances, getting them fired from their jobs after doxing them, and shoving lit M-80s up the rectums of their pets just like when he was a kid.

Schmalfeldt is far less glib and urbane when discussing his violent dreams out of sight of the public. He brags about an in situ plot to overthrow the government of the United States, saying that a large number of generals and admirals are on board and ready to move if Donald Trump goes a step too far.  He is either delusional or a liar, but at times like this there is nothing like the power of AND.  Schmalfeldt now has the time to work on funding his latest projects…fleecing the left-wing idiots of America to fund a 48 state “bucket list” road trip along with about $2500 of new toys to “document” the journey, grifting for a brand new mobility scooter that Medicare would pay for if only he could find a competent doctor to prescribe for him, and pro se prosecuting yet another Federal LOLSUIT that has less than a snowball’s chance in Hell of getting to trial.

Is Schmalfeldt just thumping his concave chest? Preening like a peacock, trying to impress the reader with his illusory power and might?

Well, obviously!

And if it isn’t all just talk, where is the funding coming from?

That question takes us back to the beginning.

Brett Kimberlin is a convicted bomber who was found civilly liable for the death of one of his victims but hid all his assets to avoid paying the judgment. He is a convicted forger, drug dealer and perjurer who has spent years along with thousands of dollars engaging in lawfare against many with whom he shares common hatred along with Bill Schmalfeldt. Also, he blew $9000 to buy a fake Russian dossier on Donald Trump.

No, really!

Bill Schmalfeldt is a friend of Brett Kimberlin, by his own admission:

Who’s to say that Kimberlin is not funding Schmalfeldt’s dreams of almost-beachside month-to-month rental retirement in a Myrtle Beach motel-gone-cheap-condo? How do we know Kimberlin is not laughing up his sleeve behind the scenes at Schmalfeldt’s impotent fist shaking dreams of crushing his enemies THIS TIME, AT LONG LAST!!! in a South Carolina court with a case far more flimsy than he has ever had before, even more flimsy than the case that caused a court-conscripted welfare lawyer in Chicago to fire him and run him out of town, shaking with derisive pointage, laughery and mockification?

We don’t know.

Maybe it’s time to start asking questions?


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

11 thoughts on “Drawing A Straight Line From Bill Schmalfeldt to Pedophilia, Racism, Misogyny, Anti-Semitism, Drugs & Terrorism”

  1. You forgot that the Fidiot abandons his pets every time he Nut-Shuffles to a new hideout.

    To me that is just above cyberstalking children on the Asshole/Perv scale.

  2. Goodness, that Breitbart Unread editor pic of him is hideous.

    Looks like a hair covered, thumb shaped chancre cemented to his shoulders.

  3. That was a line drive through someone's head. He'll throw another one later I'm sure.

  4. Daily Stormer was kicked off the internet, DUMBFUCK. It is not in hiding, it got smooshed. This is a fact that any imbecile with an internet connection could ascertain. Of course, an Infesterlative Jounamooooolist with 30 years experience of being a DUMBFUCK couldn't pull that particular feat off. Congratulations on not being smarter than an imbecile.


    1. Daily Stormer WAS kicked off the internet. By a private company. On the whim of one of their executives (owner? CEO?) I forget and can't be bothered to go back and look. This is troubling. Think about it people.

      Coupla' days later Daily Stormer announced it was back online. Haven't verified this personally because I don't like those creeps (what little I know about them) and wouldn't willingly give them any more traffic than I'd give Brietbart Unmasked (because I know a lot about Bill Schmalfeldt professed and avowed friend to Brett Kimberlin 'The Speedway Bomber' responsible for constructing and staging multiple bombs in public areas one of which so seriously injured a otherwise non-involved citizen so badly that... Brett Kimberlin, convicted perjurer and acknowledged dope dealer; we're talking bales not lids. Brett Kimberlin, stalwart of the Democrat Party.). By Bill's friends you shall know him. And if that's not enough then just look at the stupid shit Bill Schmalfeldt writes. Go ahead. I can wait.

  5. Hey Paul-

    May I call you Paul? Else Mr. Krendler and I'm totally ok with that. I fully understand the need for formality and appropriate distance from minions.

    If you don't mind, I'd like to hijack your blog for a Public Service Announcement. Public because I can't bear contacting Schmalfeldt directly even despite the fact I think I can avoid (obstruct/deny) the inevitable doxxing effort to figure out who I am so I can be sued.

    Flipping through Hannity tonight I saw Laura Ingraham announce she would be in Myrtle Beach THIS Friday on a book tour.

    Since Bill Schmalfeldt follows your blog obsessively I'd like to convey the following to Bill:

    Bill/Shakes/Dumbf5ck, you need to protect yourself and your loved ones. Ignore the little guy (your master) in Maryland because all my advice is LOCAL and specific to Myrtle Beach...

    1. Laura Ingraham is coming to town. She's a Right-Wing Wingnut. You do NOT want to be exposed to any ideas pertaining to self-reliance, the Deep State, RINOs or The Elite vs. All of Us (cf Codeville). Don't want to see you or any of your like-minded fellow-travelers get triggered.

    2. Protect yourself by sprinkling Holy Water all the way around your first floor apartment. Oh wait- You're not a science-denier (right?) so IF you can afford it just go buy a bottle of Evian. Or two. It's French.

    3. Laura will likely attract White Supremacists, the KKK and any number of Boy Scout troops. You need to be ready. Boy Scouts. Lots have little brothers and some of those are Cub Scouts. Yummy. Where was I? Oh yes- You need to contact The Antifa and BLM. ASAP. Organization is key. Get the word out so you and your ilk can demonstrate tolerance as appropriate for non like-minded points of view. Use force as necessary. No justice no peace. Hey hey ho ho, Western Civ has got to go! Right? Except that have you ever thought what South Carolina would be without air conditioning? Nah- The ocean breezes are so close.

    4. Get on the phone to Soros. You MIGHT need financial support for lawyers and bond bailsmen (Bail bondsmen? Not sure on this one because I myself am not familiar with life at the bottom. TG.) to take care of the idiot protesters. Get this lined up early.

    5. When you're dealing with people on The Right (Nazis!Nazis!Nazis!) cat food is always the first thing to go. Think of Onyx. Shop now. Disposable razors too, right? (wink wink! HEY! Don't get on me; you're the one who threw that out there.)

    6. SOME cable news networks are more hard-pressed financially than others. Call CNN and offer Rachel Maddow a cot in your one-bedroom apartment. IF Rachel can't expense it (the cot) call Soros (yeah; again-).

    7. Buy a camcorder, on credit (of course) and FILM HISTORY in the making as your side works to shut Laura down. Trust me on this one, Bill- You'll be able to sell the footage to ABC/CBS/NBC/MSNBC/PBS and also ESPN. I'll also work to get you on the Jimmy Kimmel show. That Oliver guy too. Maher? Why not? I'll make you famous. You just gotta' be in the right place at the right time. And maximally dickish. I know you can. But only if you're brave enough to get out of the apartment.

    Go get 'em dude. Fight for your right to #RESIST! If you would like additional details and/or any other ideas (I got a million of 'em) please send them to Krendler at thingingmanszombie.com as our intermediary. Coupla' more things:

    A. Krendler hasn't heretofore agreed to act as my intermediary but I'm confident his services can be had for some nominal amount of Swiss gold bullion (No. These particular bars don't have swastikas stamped on them. None in my gold reserve do you jackass.)

    B. In the unlikely event Krendler abjures (look it up GS-13 Editor) I can find others. On other blogs. Wiling to act as intermediaries.

    C. IF you're in The Resistance do you have one of them beanie-styled hats? That would be kinda' cool. With your beard, and all, you would look somewhat like a older fatter whiter version of Che. PBUH. Think about it: 50 years from now idiot college kids AND their Leftist (Totalitarian) Professors would be wearing YOUR likeness on their t-shirts. We're talking iconic, man-

    Respond via Krendler.

    Mahalo, Mo' Fo.

  6. I'm no G-13 journalist, but isn't calling for the complete and utter annihilation of an individual a threat?

  7. How do we contact people associated with the Daily Stormer?

    We may wish to ask them if the article about them is accurate and if they have any rebuttal to investigative proctologist, I mean journalist; Bill Schmalfeldt.


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