The Little Birds Report

…a confirmed DUMBFUCK sighting in Carroll County.


UPDATE: We have a fresh sighting in an Elkridge trailer park of some historical repute.  Apparently the shame of being forced out is not as strong as the need to pay respects to the Son of The Greatest Lot Lizard Who Ever  Walked The Flying J.


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

38 thoughts on “The Little Birds Report”

  1. Damnit!!! And I had the triple no show square.

    Can the little birdies at least say if his car rental is dollar, enterprise or national?

    1. I was absolutely convinced that a DUMBFUCK would stay under his extended-stay porch.

      FUN awaits.

  2. We have the court parking lot(s) staked out Monday and we'll know more then. You have until 1200 Eastern on Sunday to place your bet on Schmalfeldts conveyance:

    A. Scooty Puff (borrowed from the VA)
    B. Taxi
    C. Brett 'Boom Boom' Kimberlin
    D. Limosine (by Soros)
    E. Wheel Chair (wheel on the right side will be flat)
    F. Eric Holder's Mercedes
    G. Bernie Sanders Mercedes
    H. Hillary's broomstick
    I. Nancy Pelosi's Mercedes
    J. Secret Service Suburban
    K. Carroll County Paddy Wagon (that's RACIST!)
    L. Crutches (complete with limp)

    1. Citizen K alleges that at least one of Kimberlin's vehicles had upgraded suspensions, suitable for carrying heavy loads.

      Maybe the JTMP-owned gold Prius has been similarly modified?

      Add that vehicle to the list and you're on!

    2. I know I originally took E, but then I realised something: that maneuvering a wheelchair by yourself takes effort and since we know Shitbag McFakinsons always uses the least amount of effort possible unless inflataskank is going to collude with Fakinsons in his lie and push that's not going to happen.

      Therefore I would like to change to "L" if that also includes canes.

    3. I know it is a long shot but you left Marius' Mule off your list.

    4. One of his kids could help him out by coming and driving him.


      Oh crap, I think I just tore a lulz muscle , and that was with extensive stretching.

    5. Is it too late to add the red Ford(?) that DF "gave" to a relative when he allegedly couldn't drive any more?

  3. Heh. Birds... as in more than one. lol!

    I can't wait for The Little Birds to start reporting on how the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt stumbles, shakes, trembles, limps, and rolly-walks into the courtroom Monday morning.

    I am sure the drama is gonna be rich!

    1. Somebody need to bring one of those portable defibrillators into the courtroom.

      Then when Bill pulls his "I'm coming to join you Elizabeth" moment, and falls to the floor,;yell "CLEAR" and zap his ass.


  4. I get the square that says he'll be wearing that retarded porkpie hat!

    1. Yea... that pleather tuffguy jacket with his idiot porkpie hat.

      That will impress the "jury" real good, eh?

  5. There is scuttlebutt around the TFS universe that someone MAY have settled with Mr Hoge less than 24 hours before the trial is scheduled to begin. And the bigger headline is that that party WILL testify for Mr Hoge, against their fellow Team Kimberlin members. I'm sure Mr Hoge is busy with trial prep so I don't want to bother him today. But if anyone hears anything official please post it. Thanks!!

    1. I wouldn't say it's "official," other than OFFICIALLY HILARIOUS!!!!

  6. Just remember that I have the square for "fake fall in the court room". I'm pretty sure it's a lock.

    1. Someone needs to take on the duty of watching DUMBFUCK like a hawk and when he starts checking to see if anyone is watching, shout "Hey, DUMBFUCK, watch out ya don't fall!"

  7. Oh laws!! My f5 key is going to take a beating tomorrow.

    But I thought the ram HD touched the wall?

  8. I think the odds are even that the Mini pedi will claim assault again! I hope the cameras are still working

    1. I think that the odds should be much longer than that. The lesson has been learned, and I think the odds of any member of Team Free Speech allowing him within 15 feet of them outside the courtroom are longer still.

  9. Surely he has nutshuffled to the courthouse by now. At least if he plans on milking his fakinsons for all its worth.


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