Metaphorical DUMBFUCK Is Literally a DUMBFUCK

I’ll take STUPID PRETENDYLAND SPORTS METAPHORS FOR $200, Alex…

That’s an incomplete forward pass, you fucking moron.  Hoge still has the ball, even in Pretendyland.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

21 thoughts on “Metaphorical DUMBFUCK Is Literally a DUMBFUCK”

  1. What is he talking about? It's the first snap of the first quarter, and Bill already burned his timeouts. Most of his 'team' is nowhere to be found, and he's constantly asking the assistant coaches for the other team for help in putting together his playbook.

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    1. One of his cheerleaders (Karoli) wants nothing to do with him, and the other would be an episode of Intervention if anyone cared enough to send an email to the show.

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    2. Your analogy is almost correct. William "Parkinson's faking valor stealing adjudicated cyberstalking shitty sports metaphor making" Shmalfeldt is the assistant coach who is calling the shots because the coach is trying to distance himself from this 0 and 7 season as much as he can.

      Other than that, spot on.

      But if this is what Mr. Fakinsons has to tell himself so he can sleep at night, go for it.

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  2. https://twitter.com/breitbitnews/status/897184271273734144

    BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    His "home turf." They know him there, right? Where he has lived in transient hotel rooms for LESS THAN FOUR MONTHS?

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    1. He does know that the judge doses nothave to rule on that motion until he wants to or the trial starts in which case it becomes moot.

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    1. "Crystal methamphetamine is produced using a "washing" technique that involves dissolving powdered d-methamphetamine in a solvent such as acetone or denatured alcohol."

      Source: https://www.justice.gov/archive/ndic/pubs1/1837/1837t.htm

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  3. Hopefully after the vexatious shitbag's season goes from 0 - 7 to 0 - 9 the owners are going to step in and lock him out for the rest of the season.

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  4. Clearly a case of cherry picking tweets to make our excellent friend Bill seem crazy. There's obviously more context you aren't including so let me go get it...

    What?

    ... somehow, his other football tweets make his point EVEN MORE CONFUSING than it appears here. Krendler, you magnificent bastard, you actually made Bill look BETTER by just highlighting these four tweets. Bill should be thanking you.

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  5. We all know Schmaleldt's First Law of Football, don't we?

    "Don't be where the puck is, be where the puck is going to be."

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    1. I thought it was "why wear a helmet if concussions only make you smarter? "

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    2. I thought it was "always drop the soap in the shower then wish really herd"?

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  6. "Not if the ball was still in the QB's hands and not moving forward. Then it's a fumble. Sports not your thing, Patsy? Tracey let you watch?"

    LOLOL. Dumbfuck, you said the QB hurled the ball and the DL batted it out of the air. How, pray tell, does a DL bat a hurled ball out of the air if it's still in the QB's hand? Jesus fucking Christ, you're stupid.

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    1. You should have said it was 4th down Bill.

      You can't even get it right when you get a second chance (or second amended complaint?)

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  7. "runs one up the gut for a 3 yard loss" is nasty-sounding enough as it is. But when BS types it? (shudder)

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  8. Oh great! Now he's a football coach and professional referee.

    I'm sure he's getting calls from the NFL and top collegiate programs as we speak. Just have to figure out how to leverage that fake Parkinson's into an ADA suit.

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