It’s Probably Ass Cancer This Time

Or meth…or the liquid diet…

We can hope, anyway…


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

19 thoughts on “It’s Probably Ass Cancer This Time”

  1. How many times can Diane go to the asshole cancer well for money?

    Let's find out!

  2. Imagine how surprised they will be when they find out that a couple of [REACTED] long-term "friends" rat [REDACTED] out to [REACTED] sworn enemies. Actually they just confirmed what was already suspected about [REDACTED].

  3. Has our LOLcow ever actually denied using methamphetamine for (e.g.) weight loss?

  4. Ten pounds lost per month? I don't think it's drug use. I think it's the lack of space in the flophouse mini-fridge. That, and Mx. Rauhauser is just as lazy as he is, so he doesn't get to push all the fetch and carry tasks, much less the household chores, onto xer.

  5. 10 pounds a month for 4 months? He lying or dying (and I know which way I'd bet). A doctor will tell you that it is unhealthy to lose weight too fast, and this would qualify. We know he isn't seeing a doctor, so if he really is losing weight like this, the underlying condition that is causing it won't be detected until it is too late.

    Besides, someone with 16+ years of Parkinson's couldn't exercise enough to lose that kind of weight. One more example of him proving that he is faking having Parkinson's.

    Personally, I hope it is colon cancer. Appropriate for an asshole like him.

    1. Can't say as I'd mind if it is cancer, but don't get your hopes up. Don't forget he's sharing quarters with a couple hundred pounds or so of walking, talking (sort of), vaping, appetite suppressant.

  6. Dear Mr. Fakinsons,

    I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds to me like you're losing weight "the old fashioned way" just like Gail did.

  7. Very shocked he didn't post another shirtless picture.

    "I am losing weight. I have ass cancer. Here is me doing wall crawls because my roids are bleeding."

  8. Well, we know if he has a real disease, he can whip out the rolodex of his NIH contacts and get a crack medical team on it.

    Those contacts and early detection and treatment of his disease will see him being able to recover from it just like Gail did when he went into action for her.

    ....never mind....

  9. Does he have ass cancer, or is he an ass with cancer?

    Embrace the power, brah...


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