Uh…NOPE

Nobody is laughing at a disabled person.

We’re laughing at YOU.

Here’s Sonoran Conservative, specifically – laughing at YOU.

UPDATE – MOAR POINTAGE from MOAR-GANNA!

EVEN MOAR UPDATE – the mockification continues (SWIDT, Fifi?) at the Artisan Craft Blog.

When the rest of my Team Free Speech pals get around to joining in the pointage, laughery and mockification, I will link them too!

You see, appearing remotely via Skype is not a right. It is a privilege.

It is a privilege which you saw fit to abuse. Now that privilege has been withdrawn from you.

Too bad, so sad. Boo hoo hoo.

Now, you have been ordered to appear in person in a Maryland court to show cause why you should not be held in contempt for your abuse of the privilege of appearing via Skype and your alleged violation of court rules prohibiting the use of electronic devices in court and the recording of court proceedings.

Now you want to bitch about your rights “as a disabled person?”

Here’s what you want to do.

  • Make a reservation at an ADA compliant hotel near the ADA compliant courthouse in Carroll County, Maryland
  • Pack an ADA compliant suitcase (be sure to include an ADA compliant toothbrush);
  • Call an ADA compliant taxi (perhaps an ADA compliant forklift and an ADA compliant flatbed truck would be better)
  • Have the ADA compliant mode of transport take you to the ADA compliant train station
  • Buy a ticket for an ADA compliant train
  • Get on the ADA compliant train
  • Get off the ADA compliant train at the ADA compliant train station in Baltimore
  • Call another ADA compliant taxi
  • Have this ADA compliant taxi take you to the ADA compliant hotel in Carroll County
  • Sleep off the arduous effects of your ADA compliant journey
  • Call yet another ADA compliant conveyance to haul your greasy-moobed sack of flapping beetusflesh from the ADA compliant hotel to the ADA compliant courthouse in Carroll County
  • Don’t forget that toothbrush. And your checkbook
  • Make your way to the ADA compliant courtroom where your show cause hearing is scheduled in the ADA compliant courthouse
  • Make sure you leave your electronic devices in the ADA compliant hotel room
  • If you do bring a phone, make sure you POWER THAT MOTHERFUCKER DOWN before entering the ADA compliant courtroom where you have been ordered to appear
  • Make your best case that you are a simple unfrozen disabled caveman pro se, and all these court rules and procedures THAT YOU WERE TOLD TO FOLLOW are strange and confusing
  • Enjoy your ADA compliant holding cell.

You DUMBFUCK.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

25 thoughts on “Uh…NOPE”

  1. This appears to be an ADA Compliant post.

    Not sure if it's DUMBFUCK compliant..

    *still laughing..

    Like(7)Dislike(0)
  2. While I think that this ploy is indeed a cause for laughter, the truly funny part comes Wednesday morning when the bench warrant is filed.

    And I don't think a DUMBFUCK did his research. Again.

    This is going to be hilarious.

    Like(7)Dislike(0)
    1. By which I'm sure you mean "hilarious in an infinitely increasing geometric progression of hilariousness, of which not one SCINTILLA will be wasted."

      Like(6)Dislike(0)
    2. Sure, he did his "research". He just concluded that "reasonable accommodation" includes ignoring court rules and getting away with contempt.

      Like(6)Dislike(0)
  3. Because the odds are so poor for betting on various 'cowardly Bill won't show squares' I'm going for 'Bill shows up and brags about how he caught John completely unaware by being there'.

    Like(14)Dislike(0)
    1. For some reason, I'm pretty sure that John will be prepared no matter where Adulterous Unca Biwwy happens to be on Wednesday morning.

      The one thing I'm pretty sure of, is that AUB won't be on a computer screen over Skype.

      Like(6)Dislike(0)
    2. I think he will appear, myself, all reasonable hope of reprieve is gone. He's got some form of oppositional,defiant disorder I guess, keeps trying to renegotiate his obligations but he is not fool enough to disreguard the order to appear. he will,show and fake an accident and then sue.

      Like(3)Dislike(0)
      1. If he does, I look forward to hearing the pauper explain his trip to Maryland to the South Carolina court should Lulzsuit VIII survive long enough to challenge IFP.

        Like(3)Dislike(0)
  4. You all are so uncharitable. Has it not occurred to any of you that Woebgone Willie truly is seriously disabled (though not necessarily in the way he claims)?

    Like(6)Dislike(0)
    1. It must be the "American Dumbfucks Act of 2009" that you speak of. It was one of those obscure laws signed by Obama, pushed by Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid so Dumbfucks can benefit from getting away with stupid shit. It allows people like Dumbfuck to walk into court, fuck themselves over, and get away with it.

      Like(9)Dislike(0)
      1. One of my favorites CarTalk moments was Tom & Ray reading this aloud.
        http://www.theonion.com/article/congress-passes-americans-with-no-abilities-act-541

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  5. On June 9, I filed a motion asking the judge to either cancel the hearing or, in the alternative, drop the requirement that I appear in person to perform for Hoge’s dog and pony show....

    Ok I am confused--migraine been kicking my ass since Saturday--what fucking motion is he talking about that he filed? All I see is an ex parte communication from him to the judge.

    To be forced to do so is a clear violation of my rights under Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

    That does not excuse you from appearing, talk to your friend "legal schnauzer roger shuler" he can tell you what happens when you do not appear as directed.

    I am charged with recording my own face and voice.

    That is a flat out lie, you recorded and published every voice in the court room.

    For instance, on June 28 I am called to appear in person, 450 miles from here, to answer a ridiculous contempt of court charge for a crime that does not exist. I no longer drive. A 14-hour bus or train ride would be incredibly painful.

    If you can not tell a convincing lie then it is best to keep your mouth shut so it does not write checks you can not pay. I believe you drove round trip from Iowa to South Carolina for a fucking weekend.

    Like(8)Dislike(0)
    1. He's arguing that they're violating Title II which he's basically accusing them of discriminating against him on the basis of disability. He would need fucking proof of that ever happening which he has none. He has to file an ADA complaint with the DOJ and still has to attend the proceeding. They have to investigate whether his complaint has merit. Unfortunately a complaint does not obligate him to get the date cancelled.

      Get rolling, Dumbfuck. You can get to Maryland in 8 hours with no stops. Offer to perform on truckers if you need to hitchhike.

      Like(6)Dislike(0)
        1. Both of you have exceedingly low opinions of truckers.

          Bill, rent a car.

          Like(5)Dislike(0)
      1. Let's assume for a moment that he is suddenly, again, disabled by PD after the recent unprecedented remission of same.

        Who cares? Does he think there's no ramp or elevator? Why does he think the judge gives a fuck how he gets to the building?

        Like(2)Dislike(0)
  6. Yeah, Bill really wants the court's sympathy because he can't drive.

    Too bad back in Wisconsin he told this court he couldn't drive. Then he bought a car, drove to Chicago a couple times, moved to Iowa, drove to Myrtle Beach and back, then moved to Myrtle Beach. All documented with the court thanks to his failure to maintain an address on file.

    Oh, he even sent the court pictures of his rustbucket.

    Like(5)Dislike(0)
  7. Very thorough! Of course, it's good advice, so he won't take it.

    Worse, he will think he's being clever.

    Phone, train.

    Like(4)Dislike(0)
  8. Interesting... His argument (with the air) is an extension of his service by email argument. If one has given him a break, he's entitled to rely on its continuance ( no matter how he abuses it, that favor is now his natural right.).

    Like(5)Dislike(0)

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