My New Little Birds in Iowa, Tony & Brent

So after collecting information from the little birds in Maryland and Wisconsin over the last couple of years, I heard from a couple new little birds in Iowa while doing some elementary legwork from my hotel bed here in Westminster (I’m told this is the cutting edge technique of ALL THE BEST journimalists nowadays). I sent a couple emails and got in contact with a couple of Iowans named Tony and Brent.

They own a company that owns some houses in Clinton, Iowa.  I asked them if my information was correct, and did they own a particular house at a particular address.  They told me they do.

I asked them if they knew anything about the fellow who rented the particular house for about three months earlier this year.  They told me they did.  They have engaged a management company to handle the rental, but this was one of those memorable stories that gets passed around over beverages and burgers at Hook’s Pub.  Now there are legal issues of confidentiality and privacy to consider here, but you’ll noticed I have not mentioned any names yet.

And…well…let’s just say that Someone Who Shall Not Be Named But Digs Him Some South Carolina Inflataskank has now been unceremoniously and forcibly ejected from three consecutive residences in three different states.

UPDATE: I also learned that when the cleaning/staging crew arrived to reset the house for showing, a deceased cat was found in a bathtub.  Given some of the comments that were made on a certain podcast yesterday, I think we can reasonably deduce why there is only one cat on that podcast. No dogs were found, so we can neither deduce that a dog was abandoned nor can we deduce that one was killed.  With sadness, one hopes for the former.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

22 thoughts on “My New Little Birds in Iowa, Tony & Brent”

  1. And when John gets the default judgement against him because he doesn't show for the trial, he'll never be able to rent a place other than a fleabag motel again.

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  2. Deadbeat psychopath gotta deadbeat . .... and annoy the neighbors children ..... and destroy property in drunken stupor.....

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  3. How much of a goof do you have to be to have nun's kick your ass out?

    Note to Bill: Goof is one of the worst insults an inmate can call another. You should try to learn what not to say in the joint.

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  4. Some people learn when unfortunate things tend to trend in their existence. Normal people start to pick up on the consequences of their actions and decisions in their adolescent years and learn to modify their behavior.

    Dumbfuck is beyond hope and sinking fast.

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  5. Did he leave his animals alone in the house without adequate provision? I hope that's not so.

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      1. I'm told there was a dead cat in the bathtub. No sign of any dogs.

        I take that as a signal that he suffered a worse fate.

        Knowing now as I do the full details of his exits from three states, I am more convinced than ever that two doggos left behind in the state he will not enter ended up as Korean potstickers.

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        1. Someone ought to report that miserable son of a bitch to Animal Control or the SPCA or something. No pet is safe in his presence.

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      1. Agreed. That's the sort of thing that makes me start playing with knives and eyeballing maps.

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  6. I see him flatulating about how a bunch of people went to Maryland for nothing and how he ha-ha-ha got to stay in SC.

    I feel like he is already living out his punishment right now trapped in that tiny cell with those...things. Oh, and is anybody driving anywhere to see him?

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    1. The worst prison cells are the ones where the prisoner has the key but refuses to unlock his own door and leave.

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  7. I don't know how to phrase this without coming across as over earnest, but im a little too horrified for words. .

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