1. Usually doesn’t arrive via U.S. Mail to the Roach Motel of the intrepid sooper journimalist;
  2. Doesn’t merit a tease unless it’s real (unless you’re an intrepid sooper journimalist or Rachel Maddow);
  3. Prolly means the replacement inflataskank was ordered 3-6 business days ago;
  4. Could be a typo, and he got Depends IN the mail.


There must be other options that the Horde can think of…


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

9 thoughts on “MAJOR NEWS!”

  1. Oooh! Oooh! I know!

    He's getting a hotel gift card from TJ so that he doesn't have to stay with him tomorrow night! Then he can say that he knows all sorts of awesome things because he stayed at a Holiday Inn that night.

  2. Wow.

    So unoriginal he has steal Howie's "kooky" tagline.

    Good G-d man.... you're a nexus of fail.

    Maybe the big news, delivered by US Mail, is his inflataskank's new Donkey Kong strap on and he is thinking of getting high ratings by getting pegged on air.

    I myself will be praying for dead air.

    .... and I denounce myself.

  3. Please, please, let's encourage Witless Willie when he gets something right.

    He may or may not be doing X at time Y is one of his most cogent statements ever (if this is not a zombie spoof). It is succinct; it is clear, and it is indisputably true.

  4. 2 days away from a hearing and THIS is his biggest concern?

    Yep, this valor stealing, Parkinson's faking SHITBAG has NO intentions of showing up to court. You know, the one place where despite his FAKinsons he would be the last man standing?

    You're scum William "fakinsons" Shmalfeldt. Kill yourself so we stop wasting society's resources on a waste of oxygen.

  5. So he thinks something good is coming regarding his ex parte communication to Judge Hecker.

  6. You're a fucking loser, Shakes.

    Dianne Preston is a fucking loser, Shakes.

    The two of you are one disgusting pile of shit.

    KOOKY, huh?

      1. Try it again, you smiled when you said it.

        At least it could have been a smile. There were a LOT of teeth showing.


Comments are closed.