He Made A Fecal Case Out Of It

It was either “eat shit and do nothing about it,” or make a poopie in federal court that he would eventually be forced to eat anyway. He chose the latter.

I will be the second to admit. Bill Schmalelddt has never filed a successful lawsuit. (Not for lack of trying, mind you – just for lack of having a case. Or intelligence.) Every suit he has filed has been dismissed before reaching a point of being considered on the merits. This is because Bill Schmalelddt is too stupid to fashion a complaint that can survive a motion to dismiss for any of a dozen or so reasons. The same could be said about the defendants in his attempts to get some justice for the years of undue harassment that has been returned to him in his prescribed three-for-one ratio to what he has dished out.

It COULD be said, if the dozens of defendants he has tried to sue over the past three years had ever tried to sue him…but only one has. That case goes to trial in August. The outlook for Schmalelddt is similar to his general opinion of women – DIM.

No one – yet – has ever beaten him on the merits, for two reasons:

  1. None of his lawsuits ever reaches a point where the merits are judged. This is fortunate for Schmalelddt because when he files a LOLSUIT, there are no merits to consider;
  2. No one pays him enough mind to sue him for defamation, because his character and reputation are such that nothing he says on any subject can be taken seriously by a reasonable person.

Oh, sometimes people thump their chests without ever crediting the “disgraced” attorney who beat him like a redheaded stepchild in Wisconsin and was well paid for it. Poor Schmalelddt – he just knows so much that isn’t so.

He doesn’t have an attorney. He had one once, a charity attorney in Illinois who told him to run along home and quit bothering people with more important things to do than wipe his tears and rub ointment on his aching butt. No, he does this all by his lonesome, with the moral support of his imaginary friends and inflatable ladyboi. Besides, he’s smarter than any old dumb, disgraced lawyer anyway! There are no guarantees of success, but I do believe that he’s learned some things along the way.

OK, just kidding!! He hasn’t learned ANYTHING.

He thinks jurisdiction (subject matter and personal) is handled differently in South Carolina; he found a case that he thinks says it’s based on where the VICTIM dwells. Sadly, no. But even though he has burned his free amendment in an effort to fix some other flaw that was explicitly pointed out to him (but which he still didn’t believe until he was once more proven to be an utter fool), it’s still too early to educate the monkey. He thinks venue is also correct for the same reasons.

One reason there is no need right now to educate the monkey, or even bother to be concerned with it, is because the suit will be dismissed by the Magistrate Judge before any defendant needs to make an argument regarding his whimsical notions of jurisdiction and venue.

This is just the first step on a long journey – about 25 feet to the edge of the cliff, and then a long 2000 foot drop. This is why he told Dave Alexander the other day that he’s lucky he and Sarah Palmer live in the same state (as far as he knows – ha ha ha). He thinks he could not file under a diversity jurisdiction if two parties live in the same state. Sarah won the obviously rigged coin toss.

Remember – he’s learned some things along the way. Not enough things to get a lawsuit past motions to dismiss, or even to the point of being served, but things. That he’s learned. Like the cure for Fakinson’s disease can be found on the shores of Lake Michigan, where you will magically regain the physical dexterity if not the mental acuity required to safely drive a car again. Yay!

I have a very good idea how this will end up.

Just like all the other VII LOLSUITS filed by Bill Schmalelddt.

WJJ Hoge II and his readers, as well as defendants Johnson, Palmer and Grady will never see a summons, never have to file a motion to dismiss, never have to craft an answer and will not have to spend a moment of serious thought on Schmalelddt’s case. (Note: this case comes with sooper sekrit subpoena powah. If Schmalelddt wants to find out who I am, he will find a whole new set of obstacles to overcome.)

But I HATE to spoil the surprise!

Hoge will say he has foreseen this.

EVERYBODY foresaw this, from the moment he moved out of Iowa, the gigantic sand-filled pussy.

Of course, foresight is always more impressive when one can predict something that hasn’t happened yet.

Like, say, that Schmalelddt’s pro se complaint will be subject to review by a magistrate judge and likely be”killed in its crib?” That was foreseen.

Or that Schmalelddt would be expertly manipulated into quickly burning his free first amendment to correct something in his complaint that he maintained at first wasn’t even wrong? That was foreseen too.

Or finally, that Schmalelddt would leave behind multiple other fatal flaws in his Amended Complaint (and even make some things WORSE THAN BEFORE)? That also was foreseen.

So it looks like he had a choice between eating a turd and laying one. Like seven times before, “CLEANUP ON AISLE LOLSUIT!” Send the DUMBFUCK and make sure he brings his big spoon.

BOY…Thank goodness he was never “emotionally invested” in this one.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

12 thoughts on “He Made A Fecal Case Out Of It”

  1. Will it become “emotionally invested” when the LOLsuit gets tossed and it has to pay the filing fee, costs and taxes?

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    1. Yeah, well they can't make him pay costs and fees. They won't collect a dime, I tell ya!

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  2. Well said, but I do have to point out one mistake you made: John Hoge is not the only person to sue Bill. When Bill included me in one of his suits, I actually did answer his complaint AND counter-sued. In fact, Bill never filed an answer to my counter suit, so by his logic, since he never denied any of the allegations, they must all be true. I can't help it that a Maryland Federal Judge closed a case improperly, but the facts are simple: I made claims of defamation and copyright infringement against Bill in a Federal civil case, and Bill never denied them. QED: They are true.

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    1. Bill was called a rapist. He dismissed that case with prejudice. QED: That's a true statement now.

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