Relational Equilibrium

In physics, there is the concept of thermal equilibrium, which simply states that two objects at different temperatures will reach thermal equilibrium because heat energy will flow from high temperature to low temperature. For example, a cup of hot coffee left to stand will eventually cool to room temperature. The small amount of coffee cools down, and the great big kitchen warms up, if only a tiny bit.

From an empirical perspective, this tends to hold true in personal interactions as well.  The physics of relationships, to coin a phrase, show that intelligence tends to flow from areas of high concentration to low concentration.  If you hang around with people smarter than you, you tend to learn things and get smarter. If you hang around with people stupider than you, you tend to get stupid.

For me, this begs the question: what if you have a person and an imaginary, inflatable, photoshopped sister-type person, both at, for lack of a better term, “absolute stupid?”


Does anyone get any smarter, ever?


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

11 thoughts on “Relational Equilibrium”

  1. The great mass of stupidity becomes a singularity of the dumbest motherfuckers that ever lived...

    You never go full retard (Schmalbalz)...

  2. I call into question your postulate - "absolute stupid". I don't think we know where that is at with him. Fortunately, for science sake, he's already in the laboratory for us to conduct experiments and is responding well. I think he will set new limits and go, with all due respect to Gene Roddenberry, where no one has gone before.

    1. Good point - as Einstein also said, "Only two things are limitless - the universe and Bill Schmalfeldt's stupidity...and I'm not sure about the former."

      I may not have that quote exactly right, but I think the spirit is still there.

    2. Did you say, 'Star Trek' ?

      Captains' Log: Stardate 05032015 United Nations Starship Che Guevara. William Schmalfeldt, commanding-

      "Captain! We have a incoming communication!"


      The forward viewer flickers and shows a personage sitting in semi-darkness, surrounded by smoke, wearing a black hoodie- And white floppy socks. No tie. Text at the bottom of the view screen reads, "Objects on the view screen are smaller than they appear." Captain Schmalfeldt prostrates himself immediately on the Islamic prayer rug right in front of the Captains' chair.

      "BRETT KIMBERLIN!", the captain exclaims. "What is thy bidding my master?"

      "I feel a disturbance in The Force. It's converging on this Friday. Do you have a rather large bag you can hold?"

      "Yes. I suppose I do. I could find one between now and then. How big a bag?"

      "Big." The view screen snaps off.

      "Damned peculiar", Captain Schmalfeldt muses. "Why would I need a bag? What will I be holding?"

      To be continued.

  3. Does anyone get any smarter, ever?

    In the case of these two, an old axiom from philosophy provides the answer:

    Nemo dat quod non habet.

    1. That was the first thing I noticed too. Though most people probably feel that way when their current SO wants to take a photo of them both although the new hair color came out spectacularly weird.

  4. Using your logic, we would first have to ascertain which is Stupider: The Fear Pee Uber Plimp or the Red-Headed John Denver Zombie Blow Up Doll?

    I would bet that Sir Uber Plimp is Stupider, thus the Air in the Blow Up Doll will get dumber, and Sir Fear Pee will NOT get any smarter. There is no way he can, because he is the ultimate DumbFuck, a Black Hole of Stupid, sucking all the intelligence from people and objects around him and not giving anything back.

  5. Nuclear fission occurs when heavy element nuclei absorb neutrons. Chain reactions occur when the fission neutrons are absorbed by other heavy nuclei.

    Not all nuclei fission immediately after absorbing a neutron. Commercial fission reactor power plants exploit this delay to control the reaction.

    But if you assemble enough heavy nuclei, the "prompt" neutrons are enough to sustain the reaction. Then the delayed neutrons come along and increase the reaction rate. Only in nuclear fission weapons do the designers intend a "prompt critical" reaction. Go ask your friends in northern Ukraine how lives change when fission reactors are driven to prompt criticality.

    The analogy between concentrations of stupidity and prompt critical fission assemblies is left as an exercise for the reader.


Comments are closed.