Whatever

Apparently William the Paranoid Spheroid is seeing boogeymen around every corner.

Some meter reader must have left a fat thumbprint 
on one of these.

But I doubt it. 

Lying liars gotta lie, and this liar’s lies are always embarrassingly shy on details.

We all know nothing happened until the pictures get posted.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

11 thoughts on “Whatever”

  1. Wait - so he has fingerprints and footprints and has the ability to figure out their owner?

    Oh, when you are a pathological liar like Bill, it's hard to forget that there are people who read what he says and knows he is just making up shit.

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    1. And it's a particularly pathetic grade of shit. Why, he probably wouldn't even bother to roll it up and sniff it.

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    1. Skinny ones....

      Ninjas that could crawl faster than Fatfuck can run.

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  2. Your picture of the meter looks like what I imagine a Schmalfeldt Doom Clock does-

    Multiple dials. Time zones? Some of the dials clearly run backwards; look at how they're numbered. We all know, for a fact, some dials stick and don't move at all. That's why his clocks don't ever count all the way down. Presumably they just lock up quietly.

    Each is serialized. Important that each clock be unique so it can be catalogued properly for introduction as court exhibits.

    "Mr. so-called Krendler, ISN'T IT TRUE I WARNED YOU IN ADVANCE and provided you AMPLE NOTICE with regard to consequences if you didn't SUBMIT? Your Honor, may it please the court, I'm introducing Doom Clock 5 7 0 4 7 6 4 3 as exhibit 37."

    "ORDER IN THE COURT!" the judge shouts as a chorus of golf-claps rises from the gallery behind counsel. The jurors look clearly impressed by the degree of precision the clock conveys. Well it's either the precision-thing or the amount of mayo stains on a certain somebodys' muu-muu.

    Did you know you can buy a Sagamo meter, I mean Doom Clock, for between $10 and $60 on eBay? Do we live in a amazing world or what? Fingerprints cost extra. Presumably. AND- If you spend a little extra you can get Slovakian fingerprints.

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  3. Sometimes process servers check to see if the meter is spinning when someone is apparently evading service. I presume he's been served by now so all he's got left is indignation.

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