Oh, Well

For the thirty-first (or thirty-second, but who’s really counting?) year in a row, investigative journimalist Bill Schmalfeldt was again passed over yesterday when the Pulitzer Prizes were handed out.

Still…he can take consolation in all the Poolitzers he has won unanimously, like Pia Zadora with her Golden Globe.


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

10 thoughts on “Oh, Well”

  1. “During the night of April 10 2017, several of my tasteful and decorative plastic yard flamingoes were violated in a brutal and carnal manner. W. Schmalfeldt has confessed via email (attached) that he was overcome by his base instincts and did mount and debase my plastic flock.”

    Attachment 1: email: ” I did it. Bill Schmalfeldt”

    1. I am sure being the classy Fatass he is, he would any awards ceremony in a tux t-shirt. Do they make them in XXXXXL Tent size?

      Hey Dumbfuck... Pulitzers aren't made out of lucite (and hopefully you spared your NEW dog the infamy of you smearing peanut butter on your junk so you might get a participation trophy tingle while posing for your next laughable selfie)

  2. I just realized he didn't just miss out on another chunk of lucite, there's a cash award, too, right? What with replacing the tires he destroyed, even JWR may bust the budget. I'm expecting to see Valu-Rite bottles in the background of his drunken selfies for the rest of the month.


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