Not For Nothing, But

…my private fundraising campaign to have Bob Schmalfeldt chained to a rocket and fired into the sun has already received $10,000 in pledges.  Since it will never happen though, I’m just going to buy myself a MacBook Pro, a professional video camera kit, and make a feature length nature documentary about the grifter slugs of Clinton, Iowa.


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

8 thoughts on “Not For Nothing, But”

  1. My documentary "Around the World in 80 Days, Getting 960 Restraining Orders: The Bill Schmalfeldt Story" has already aroused considerable investor interest. I'm hoping to get John Carpenter to direct because only he can capture the true horror of the meal sequences and the pitching of woo. On the other hand, could anything be more compelling than Werner Herzog narrating "What a DUMBFUCK" every three and a half seconds?

    If everything goes as planned, it will be the dark companion piece to what I expect to be the feel good hit of the summer, a reboot of "Seven Days in May", where the military are the good guys.

    I feel pretty good about my future as an auteur!

    1. Only Morgan Freeman can do justice to the narration.

      Or possibly Nutty Professor Jerry Lewis. "Hay, LAAAAYYDEEEEEEE!"

      1. Neither's voice is appropriately dark ... or German.

        Morgan Freeman saying something like "DUMBFUCK'S like this are why we lost the war" doesn't make very much sense, However, Herzog's accent couldn't make the message clearer.

        On the other hand, Lebanon didn't recover from Schmalfeldt being there in 1976 until 1991. Then there's the Yokohama sex club madness ....

        I've only been working on the idea for about 25 minutes now, so the concept has room to grow,

  2. I'm also working on the very first concept country album, "My Dead Brother's Girl (Is Gonna Be Mine Someday).

    Every artist has a muse, the lolcow is mine.

  3. To get a $15000 return on an initial investment of $250 (cost of fuck + marriage license + gratuity to the JP) over 25 years comes out to 236% return per year.

    Man is an investment genius, I tell you!


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