56 thoughts on “How To Spot a Liar”

  1. Hey LardAss-----how's about you give us the incident report number on this case of property violation you suffered recently. You are such a pathetic liar!!!!

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    1. Yes, pathetic in both the sense that he lies all the time and that he's terrible at it. Very few of his many, many lies would be overlooked when written by an 8-year-old [you know, when the can enter Cub Scouts] or when verbal by the average 5-year-old. Truly, truly pathetic.

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  2. As predictable as the sun rising, Bill tries to distract from his latest and most pathetic failure (the gofundme debacle) with a new round of "I have you now!"

    Nobody believes you, chubs. Went to that well a few times too many. So much failure. Does it ever get tiring?

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    1. If I recall correctly that makes....

      1. Someone leaving crap on his lawn at the Tincasa that his security cameras nailed and they our go to jail. Never happened.
      2. Postal Inspectors were on the case! Someone was going to jail! Never happened.
      3. All of MD's finest were on the case of the Forged Letter. Someone was going to jail. Nothing happened.
      4. Postal inspectors were on the case of the Mailed in Jail Jumpsuit. Nothing happened.
      5. All the cops in Milwaukee, and I think the FBI, were going after the dastardly person that dared drive through a parking lot and was caught by the NinjaNunCam. Nothing happened.
      6. Bill "claims" to have footprints and finger prints (Wait...fingerprints in the mud? WTF?) outside his house. (Most logical explanation is Bill forgetting he was wandering around drunk again). Once again someone is going to jail. And again nothing will happen.

      Now this might be a coincidence but didn't ALL of these things happen (except #1) just when bad things were about to happen to Bill in various court cases? Hmmmm

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      1. If there were footprints in the mud outside his rental shack, chances are that the local meth-heads were scoping his place for a burglary...

        Better never leave the house unattended, Cuz.

        All that good stuff you bought with the blood money might vanish.

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      2. What was Bill doing on all fours outsi...

        Never mind. Forget I ever even started to ask that.

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    2. I thought the bigger failure was getting shitcanned from a minimum wage job at a radio station in ButtFuck Idaho?

      Mr. 30 years in journalism, and watch my internet presence expand, had the perfect chance to rub out noses in it and prove his claims as a fantastic broadcaster.

      Instead, he LIVE and ON THE AIR, gives the world concrete proof his talent is non-existent and everything he every claimed was just delusions of grandeur.

      That's the biggest failure he could have made.

      He proved to the LickSpittle and Zombie Nations (and the world) that we were right about him all along.

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    1. The amount of KAF-POW! it would take to change someone's mind would be measured in tons.

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    2. The police aren't keen on "wasting" resources for a real burglary with several thousand dollars worth of stuff stolen. They did come and dust for prints, left my house covered in copier toner, and gave us a report number for the insurance.

      There were no usable prints so absolutely nothing else happened, except we got a security system which scared off the second burglary attempt.

      They aren't going to do more than, maybe, send out a patrol guy to take a report which will get filed as close to the circular file as possible without being in it.

      And great GS-13 sentence structure with redundant use of "collect".

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      1. Willy Two Times! "I'm gonna go collect the fingerprints, collect the fingerprints."

        ROTFL

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  3. This reminds me - we're pretty close to 40 (known) reports against Bill's gofundme bleg, according to the online signup sheet.

    We can do better, zombies and lickspittals! Such a small fraction of our cabal is not acceptable. The more reports, the more likely one of the reviewers will actually take a close look, be repulsed, and shut 'er down!

    Remember to be firm and polite, to include the phrase "Google Bill Schmalfeldt", and to explain, clearly and concisely, with hyperlinks, why someone as diseased and crippled as Cousin Bill will clearly never make a 14,000 mile driving trip in 35 days.

    The magic words are "grifter", "fraud", and "pedophile".

    I, myself, will reference the 9 ROs, with locales that he'll be passing through that may lead to violations...

    Oh, and the rape accusation...yes, the rape accusation, and the still ongoing investigation, with contact information for the detective handling the cold case.

    Get busy, please.

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    1. Make that 41. 🙂

      I also included links to Cub Scouts, urinating on children, and information regarding a family (who previously resided in Texas) that BS threatened and abused for years (including the video BS created of the interior of their home on the heels of a rape threat). So actually now... a GoFundMe fundraiser reviewer has a second rape situation related to The Blob to look into.

      I, too, included a link to the picture of the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt posing with his "assault rifle" – and, I pondered the possibility that firearms could accompany him on his 48-State Whirlwind Tour (some states in which his cyberstalking, cyberharassment, lawfare, and restraining order victims reside).

      I was very polite... along with being very firm and extremely detailed. "Google Bill Schmalfeldt" made no fewer than three appearances in my report correspondence.

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  4. So the landlord stopped by to check and or fix something

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  5. Fatman Podcast‏ @FatmanPodcast 8h8 hours ago
    A lot of Nervous Nellies on the Hog Blog these days. Not saying there's no reason to be nervous, right, @paulzkrendler?

    Always with the lies. Either that or he really is too stupid to tell the difference between "nervious" and "pointage, laughage, and mockification" Yes Bill, you ARE being mocked. And laughed at. You are a coward. A person trying to scam even more money from the hard working folks of this country. I'd tell you to be ashamed but you have no shame as witnessed by your years long graft on the american taxpayer.

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    1. Nervous? *pfft*

      There is only one individual who should be nervous... and, very concerned. This is the same individual who should be spending far less time carrying on about footprints and fingerprints, and far more time focusing on his legal troubles.

      Pass the popcorn.

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  6. Bill Schmalfeldt:

    You have a lot of retractions to write so get your FAT ASS busy, all that shit about President Trump and Russia was made up by the Obama mis-administration. President Trump was right about the obama mis-administration wiretapping/spying on him. So get your FAT ASS busy with those retractions by COB.

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    1. So I see that not only did Bill Schmalfeldt not publish any retractions but he published new unsubstantiated junk. So based on the published record Bill Schmalfeldt is not a professional journalist but is nothing more than an untrained--probably untrainable-- wannabe.

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  7. Why would there be a lot of worry around here? Assuming that his fever dream was even true, that would mean one person could be implicated in trespassing. Unless there was a bus trip to Clinton that I didn't hear about, that would mean one person would have the right to be nervous.

    Except this doesn't pass the laugh test. What did they dust for prints? I'm sure that BS took his own pictures of the elusive footprint, so where is it?

    If I have information that might lead to the stalker in question, who at the Clinton Police Department can I call? Is there a detective I can speak to? Or is this an "all hands on deck" situation, so I can relay my information to just anyone?

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    1. A bus trip to Clinton? That's an idea so stupid it JUST MIGHT WORK! Oh, man- Sorry 'bout the shouting.

      But I like the idea.

      I could rent one of those giant custom bus-things like the ones rock stars get around in. Get all of us together and ride to Clinton, IA. Party all along the way of course. Should we all fly in to Chicago and start the bus from there? Central location and all that- I thought about departing from SFO but that puts us on the road for a few too many days. I never know when I'm going to get called to a Federal Reserve Meeting (they're idiots).

      Yo: HZIC please shoot me our latest roster. I don't think I have names and addresses for all the newest Zombies and Lickspittles. I'll coordinate the whole thing. Come to think about it I'm going to need several busses.

      Guys, I'll pick up the tab for this one. Including the bar- I'm undecided on whether we need any JWR so if you feel strongly please let me know.

      Also, if anybody has any special dietary requirements let me know.

      Let's see... I gotta' set up hotels. Dinner reservations. Radio interviews at his former station. I swore I'd never do another event after putting on Kimberfest '16 but this seems worth the work.

      I'll get back to all of you. But, Paul- I really do need your latest list. I don't have contact info for Owain or NicoleBonnet1 either but I know you do. Thanks man-

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      1. Hey Dub!!! Thank you so much for the kind offer!!

        FYI, no decent person would be caught dead drinking JWR. Fucking swill water.

        I am a rum (preferably Shellback Silver) and coke guy...

        🙂

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        1. Thanks for the pointer. I myself am partial to IPAs. And a little gin now and then-

          Kinda' blind on the rest of the spirits.

          ROAD TRIP!!!

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        2. A good Porter or stout for me, plus single malts. Spendy, peaty single malts. A Malbec, if we are having red wine, or a late harvest Riesling, for white.

          I will also recommend the Templeton Rye, particularly the 6 year, if you can find it. Finest liquor made in Iowa, bar none. The preferred rye whiskey of Al Capone, and of my branch of the Schmalfeldts.

          Oh, will there be hookers and blow? Asking for a friend.

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        3. When Fatass finally kicks the bucket, the celebration party will be EPIC!! 😉

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    1. The Magical Christmas Eve clerk. One of my FAVORITE lies. Right up there with his Stolen Valor.

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  8. "When your property has been violated, you call the cops."

    Who do you call when sanity has been violated?

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    1. I'm probably going to have to keep repeating this forever, but I've made peace with that...

      For image embeds, you need HTML tags, specifically the "img src=" tag. It should look like this:

      $img src="http://Your_IMAGE_URL.jpg"/$ -- You need to replace the dollar signs with the LT sign and the GT sign, and the actual URL you want to display has to be a valid picture file type (jpg, png, bmp, gif).

      For YouTube videos, I think the best option is to grab the embed HTML from the YouTube web page for the video. That's all I've done above and it seems to work.

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  9. a youtube try.
    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJlN9jdQFSc&w=640&h=360]

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  10. Mind Bleach Warning - Mind Bleach Warning - Mind Bleach Warning - Mind Bleach Warning -

    "property has been violated..."?

    I would venture to assay that the only person "violating the property" is the inebriant pre-vert himself. This is why he has not actually called the Sheriffs office, or the "feds" or anyone. They would all notice the multitude of violation holes he has left about the property, in the rails and siding and decks and flower beds and anywhere else his crazed little mind has taken his deran-ged lusticles.

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