He Who Blocks, Surrenders

Even if it were true (and we both know it isn’t)…

It isn’t true any more, is it, cowardly, sand-squirting pussy DUMBFUCK?

What happened to this big brave badass?

“CONSTANT reminder?”

Constantly bent to the will of his Imaginary Raspberry Soulmate, I’d say!

It’s clear by now that Jake is jerky and Boris has been BBQ’d.

I wonder how StGotCU feels about being left behind like every other family member he ever pretended to care about?

What about the Zombie Horde? Will the blowup girlfriend simply ditch when he tries to take over the gaming setup himself, or will DUMBFUCK run out the first time the imaginary voice tells him to pick up his own damn socks?

Whose “Long Con Fu” is stronger?

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

15 thoughts on “He Who Blocks, Surrenders”

  1. I wonder how StGotCU feels about being left behind like every other family member he ever pretended to care about?

    Probably as relieved as every other member of his family that has managed to have absolutely nothing to do with him.

    LOVED*, I tell you!

    *Self-love is a form of love, ya know.

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  2. Ronald McDonald RASBERRY blow-up doll boyfriend really needs to lay off the crack and get his nasty maw fixed.

    Fucking nasty ass hayeater....

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  3. Damn, you'd think if Bill is going to go thru the trouble of making up a fake girlfriend he'd at LEAST get a half way attractive personal photo to photoshop his fat ass into.

    instead of a fuck ugly guy in a bad wig.

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  4. "They reach your eyes, Patrick."

    If it weren't for the PLM and massive LULZ harvest, it would be tiresome how clueless my Cousin is...

    Everybody else has figured out the Krendler can't possibly be Grady...except Cousin Bill. The clues are all out there...

    He's hopelessly stew-pid!!!

    Hell, he can't even find me, his own flesh and blood, known to his ex-wives, his siblings, and his father. How dumb is that? Honestly...

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    1. You plant the seeds to lead Bill Schmalfeldt down the wrong direction, and it follows relentlessly. Forever. Even when presented with evidence to the contrary. The Blob is the pure definition of stuck on stupid.

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    2. Well, let's be fair - he can't ask them because they no longer want to deal with him. His last spouse's family wanted nothing to do with him as evidenced by the fact that they refused to fight his own war.

      It's becoming extremely clear that Gail was nothing more than a pawn. She was never the love of his life - she was just the human shield for his pathetic war, one where she has been documented as telling her deranged fat fuck of a husband to get away from it He can't. Now, he's cross dressing as an STD infected fake redhead woman after moving to SC. The sad part: He's assumed the identity of a woman who has lost her own husband.

      Grab more popcorn folks, it's about to get funnier.

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  5. And just for the record, the US does not recognize any form of royalty, so the title of "Sir" and "Lady" are just pretentious posturing. And both imply specific genders, for which a court would rule "facts not in evidence"......

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    1. And I can't help but notice that he has given himself a greater title than xer... Gosh, what's that scent in the air? A whiff of misogynistic attitude towards xerself? Wow. That's a whole lotta crazy wrapped up into a ball. Not gonna unwrap it any time soon...

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  6. Turkey Idiom
    1. n. a failure; a sham. That turkey can't level even with cheat codes.
    2. n. a stupid person. Who’s the turkey putting ash infused mayonnaise in children's snow cones?

    Raspberry Turkey
    n. overweight stupid dumbf5ck with colored hair. While in transition, did Raspberry Turkey, kill its husband, flush ashes down the toilet, hook up another stupid, fat dumbf5ck in order to share STD's with a pedophile bomber?

    Final Fanasty describes Reno as a male with lanky physique, blue eyes, and unkempt red hair.

    But hey, head dents and long screwdrivers can make stiring mayonnayse very enventul.

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