Good Morning, DUMBFUCK! (Revisited)

Dusting off a once-more-relevant classic from a year ago, with two or three small alterations:

You are less than the sweat dripping from a stinking skunk vagina. And anyone who tells you that publishing a man’s home address and suggesting that his wife should be raped while he is out of town was humorous is also less than the sweat dripping off a stinking skunk vagina.

Only someone who is less than the sweat dripping off a stinking skunk vagina would take a heart-felt personal moment, shared with people who love him, a death in childbirth, and turn it into an online spectacle. Do you think I’m the person you should be lecturing about karmic payback, DUMBFUCK?

Have you checked a mirror lately?

And today especially, thank you for going after that man again, after the sincere and heartfelt apologies that you pretended to make.

Thank you for letting the world know when, where and how someone close to you became sick and died, so we can help you remember every word you wrote, every picture you photoshopped, every meme you created, every profane thing you have ever done to cause people more pain over the death of an innocent baby. I’m so glad that you can’t shut your piehole about your wife and just let her rest in peace. It’s so wonderful that we get to share in every lurid, dignity-stripping detail of the suffering that you spewed across the Internet.

You Germans have a lovely word: Schadenfreude.

Your pain is delicious. What really provides the garnish, however, what really makes me savor it, is that added sprinkle of each time you have tried and failed to manufacture pain in others for your own satisfaction. As if it will somehow salve the physical, mental and emotional brokenness that you drag behind you like Jacob Marley’s chains (yes, I know it’s April…bite me). Your lifelong legacy of failure makes me smile.

I’m sure THE LAW is hard at work determining the provenance of whatever bullshit you’ve dreamed up this time, DUMBFUCK, in between doughnuts and coffee and investigating real crime. I could tell you what’s to be done, but you wouldn’t believe me. I guess you’ll just have to be surprised when you get the same result from the same stupidity, Einstein. There’s nothing I can do to you that would be as painful and punishing as you deserve, DUMBFUCK.

The only reason you have two ex-wives who regret knowing you is because the third one died first. All your children have abandoned you. Your sister is ashamed of you and only speaks to you because of Catholic guilt. Even your Amazon Vagina Warrior Princesses no longer defend you, and they all dread the day you get yourself tossed out of your apartment and come begging for a place to stay celebrated the day the NINJANUNS evicted your lardy butterass and you swished off to Iowa.

And you did it all to yourself. You had the power to stop in the palm of your hand. And now the karmic payback is rising around you like sewage from a flooded storm drain. I do hope you are enjoying the rich reward you have earned.

UPDATE: Gosh but Bob sure does seem het up over his eviction from the nunnery, don’t he just?  It must have been humiliating.  Do you suppose he had to go all the way back to Clinton to find someone willing to co-sign a lease? That’s my guess.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

15 thoughts on “Good Morning, DUMBFUCK! (Revisited)”

  1. Are you going to let him comment on this one like you did on the original?

    Might be FUN...

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  2. Ah, the classics...

    Like this one, from Cousin Bill:

    "And I'm sure the cops will find no trace of your finding and sending that photo on your hard drive? Betcha they do, Viper. It's comin' down fast, and you are going to be covered in it. Just wait. Whatever possessed you to cross the line between legal but offensive taunting into illegal sending of unsolicited necrophilia pictures? How will you defend that?"

    Remember when the cops searched HZIC's hard drive, found THAT photo, and it came down FAST and HZIC was COVERED in it!!???!?!????ZOMG!???

    Yeah, no...that never happened, just like every other fucked, blustering threat Cousin Bill has ever belched. (Does Cuz get that dialogue out of some sleazy dime store novel?)

    A life, wasted, unrewarding, small, mean, unimpressive and unimportant - that's your total legacy, Cuz. Well, that, and a couple of cheapass acrylic participation awards.

    Which will be promptly shit-canned by the haz-mat team that scrubs up whatever shithole you happen to expire in...

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  3. Awwww, poor cowardly Biwwy is suddenly backing off the "EVERYONE IS GOING TO JAIL" bullshit he's been spewing. I guess even a stupid asshole like him can have a flash of common sense once in a while. I wonder when he realized that no one is buying his bullshit "the kops are coming" crap anymore?

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  4. https://twitter.com/FatmanPodcast/status/850033857336410116

    Uh oh. Our lolcow "had" a Japanese tranny once, and it wound up being humiliating ... for Bill.

    Who knew that reporting on his eviction would get Schmalfeldt so hot?

    Drunks are weird.

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  5. maybe someone should warn Fat Bastardson that claiming someone has committed a "FEDRUL CRHAM!!11!" without proof, or conviction could be considers in some areas (court) defamation.

    I mean its entirely possible that he is COMPLETELY unaware of that.
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    yeah I couldnt type that with a straight face.

    Lying Grifters gotta lie and grift after all.

    hows that gofundme going anyhow?

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  6. It takes one hell of a lot to piss off a nun that much.

    Between Bill's behavior, and us reminding the nuns, regularly, of Bill's character and actions, it happened faster than I expected, though.

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    1. Your invaluable sub rosa contributions were essential as well, Roy, and you share in the credit!

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  7. So THAT'S why the Lard Ass kept his move out of Wisconsin so quiet. He was FORCED out of the NinjaNunnery because of his disturbing anti-social behavior. Anyone care to guess how long before his current landlord in Iowa kicks his fat ass to the curb? I'm sure his current scam claiming someone damaged his 1 bedroom rental(and left tons of fingerprints) is only going to accelerate the process.

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    1. Well, he's probably worried that the damage is too close to the amount of his security deposit. (I found a similar rental unit, 1bedroom house on 3rd Ave S in Clinton which rents for $545/month)

      I'd love to know what this "damage" is. Why hasn't he ginned up a police report? Afraid we'll spot how fake it is and laugh harder?

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