But What of Boris and Jake?

Did they

  1. make the trip, happy and healthy, and we’ll be seeing pictures of them in the sunny South any day now;
  2. go back to the shelter, because character is measured by how we treat those who can do nothing for us (there’s probably a lesson here for dim fake gingers);
  3. get bound in a burlap sack and tossed into the big river from the overlook at Eagle Point Park (probably a lesson here, too);
  4. enjoy being released into the wild, crime riddled streets of Clinton to be chased down and tortured by the town delinquents;
  5. Get shipped to Elkridge or Milwaukee, where decent people wait to clean up the impulsive mess left by a DUMBFUCK:
  6. take a rolling pin to the head and find their final rest in a shallow grave on 3rd Ave N?

Can the Zombie Horde think of other options?


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

7 thoughts on “But What of Boris and Jake?”

    1. Yup. A leisurely spin on the rotisserie and a loving rubdown with mayo, with the remnants then joining Soulmate 3.0's.

  1. No. Bill Schmalfeldt just tossed Jake and Boris out the door as he was driving down I-80. Fast, messy and impulsive.

    If he was mean, he threw the dog food out the door first.

  2. considering that the mannish ginger still hasn't been proved to be more than Shakey's figment, maybe Boris and Jake were someone else's pets the whole time....

    considering who we are talking about, it sounds legit.

  3. Try pets a la Lecter. Broil them, serve over steamed fava beans, garlic, and sweet potatoes garnished with a mustard mayonnaise and accompanied by a decent but not pretentious Pinot noir. Please remember to skin each pet before broiling.


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