30 thoughts on “But Totally NOT A STALKER Or Anything”

  1. What?! Why, it seems like just yesterday that he was bellowing that *you* (or the poor schlep he conflates with you) couldn’t quit *him*!
    Oh wait… That WAS yesterday!

    1. It never occurs to Shakey that Patrick Grady has maybe, just maybe, tuned completely out and sees NONE of his oral feculence. It never occurs to him that the target of his unhinged nonsense never reads any of it.

      1. Exactly.

        The only person obsessed with all things Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt... is the deranged cyberstalker himself.

        Narcissistic and delusional as the day is long.

  2. As I said last night, the new girlfriend, or even Gail aren't the love of the Yokohama Casanova's life, Krendler is.

    Just be thankful that his cock has been broken since the AIG bailout. There's always that.

    And yes, I am one of those glass-half-full fellas. Thanks for noticing!

    1. this is why I say, should Soulmate 4.0 actually turn out to be a real person ( still waiting for something other than a lying liar's say so ) I hope she enjoys being a beard.

  3. Wait, wut? Is that his sister? Surely you don't expect us to believe that he's found a new captive nurse; do you, Paul?

    WAIT, is that an ocean in the background? There are no ocean's in Iowa.

    Would someone please explain.

    1. "Would someone please explain."

      It's a Schmalfeldt thing. *shudder*

      We wouldn't understand.

      Be well.

    2. We all know she's not real. He found someone willing to help him try to Gaslight us. World's Stupidest Man™

    1. well in his little pretendy world, being a minor annoyance = being the someone's worst nightmare.

      That's our Bwilly, a small time pissant with delusions of reaching Krendler heights of satire and actual comedy.

      1. Actually I think in his world, a "minor annoyance" is someone under 18 whom he can't catch.

  4. Problems Bill "Turdroller" Schmalfeldt is never going to have to worry about:


      1. Maybe you should show sub-totals? By month? Quarter? Lunar cycles? That's the ticket-

    1. There needs to be a blog just for the forgery accidents so we can keep track not only of how recently but of how frequently these accidents occur.

  5. So now he's back to being an editor of BU?

    Nope, no bus heading his way at all...

  6. Actually, there seem to be multiple buses hurtling down multiple highways.

    The breach of contract claim is on a highway leading out of Maryland though whether it connects with I80 or I95 is as yet unknown.

    The malicious prosecution claim is on a highway heading toward Bethesda.

    Although even karma is seldom this apt, it is possible that everyone will try to throw everyone else under a different bus. That would be deliciously funny.

    I suspect, however, that John is sufficiently tired of this crew that it is too late for any to escape harmless by sacrificing another.

  7. A successful budding relationship is all about managing expectations.
    It's not quite the same without the Rohypnol, is it Shakes?
    And there is no way you can live up to your new ginger's equine costars.
    Love finds a way, Shakes
    You two keep your triple-chins up.

  8. Has anyone warned Mx. Denver that xhe should insist on a thorough, lights-on, inspection of the... relevant bits before any intimate contact? Because HPV exposure is a risk factor for squamous cell cancers of the... relevant bits, including the throat.

    It's one of those things you can look up on the internet! Lots of things you can learn from diligent googling!


Comments are closed.