Congratulations Are In Order

The little birdies tell me that a new greeter has been hired at the Clinton, Iowa Wal-Mart.

He brings his own walker as well as a miniature clock urn which never leaves his sight, and is being compensated at the going GS-13 (that’s “Greeter-Slovenly”) rate of $9.75/hr.

Another social justice triumph for Wal-Mart, putting the worst that society has to offer to some minimal use.



Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

17 thoughts on “Congratulations Are In Order”

  1. This greeter is so "friendly" that he'll scour the Internet for pictures of your kids!

    1. I got an anonymous source who gave me a story. I have no idea how to contact the employee in question.

      I went with it.

      I figure if the employee in question, whose very familiar name I withheld because JOURNALISTIC ETHICS, doesn't deny the story in the next 36 minutes on this site, then it must be true.

        1. Sure.

          He's just on permanent moderation.

          But he already missed the deadline, so it's confirmed.

  2. Greeter or shopping cart salesman, akin Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys?

    "Something's not right... something's fucky."

    1. I was thinking more of Lurch, from Hot Fuzz: (skip to the 0:40)

  3. Can you imagine being the investigator doing his background check before the USG finalizes a job offer?

    No way in hell he will ever be a GS-13 after all his legal shenanigans. I mean, put up or shut up, right?

  4. Hmmmm, a Greeter at Walmart..... I see the Peter Principle is in effect.

    Personally I believe considering his background and skills, he would be better as Jizz Mopper at a porno store. And I think he would probably require intensive training to even accomplish that kind of job.

    1. Teh Blab only needs training or supervision if he is expected to use a mop and bucket. Otherwise, he is fine..


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