Congratulations Are In Order

The little birdies tell me that a new greeter has been hired at the Clinton, Iowa Wal-Mart.

He brings his own walker as well as a miniature clock urn which never leaves his sight, and is being compensated at the going GS-13 (that’s “Greeter-Slovenly”) rate of $9.75/hr.

Another social justice triumph for Wal-Mart, putting the worst that society has to offer to some minimal use.

Kudos!

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

17 thoughts on “Congratulations Are In Order”

  1. This greeter is so "friendly" that he'll scour the Internet for pictures of your kids!

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    1. I got an anonymous source who gave me a story. I have no idea how to contact the employee in question.

      I went with it.

      I figure if the employee in question, whose very familiar name I withheld because JOURNALISTIC ETHICS, doesn't deny the story in the next 36 minutes on this site, then it must be true.

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        1. Sure.

          He's just on permanent moderation.

          But he already missed the deadline, so it's confirmed.

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  2. Greeter or shopping cart salesman, akin Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys?

    "Something's not right... something's fucky."

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    1. I was thinking more of Lurch, from Hot Fuzz: (skip to the 0:40)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsZBSno9aLQ

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  3. Can you imagine being the investigator doing his background check before the USG finalizes a job offer?

    No way in hell he will ever be a GS-13 after all his legal shenanigans. I mean, put up or shut up, right?

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  4. Hmmmm, a Greeter at Walmart..... I see the Peter Principle is in effect.

    Personally I believe considering his background and skills, he would be better as Jizz Mopper at a porno store. And I think he would probably require intensive training to even accomplish that kind of job.

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    1. Teh Blab only needs training or supervision if he is expected to use a mop and bucket. Otherwise, he is fine..

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