So This Is Making The Rounds Today

Let’s break it down:

Wanted to share an experience from earlier today.  This afternoon, I had aplumber [sic] over to my apartment to fix a clogged drain.  He was a perfectly nice guy and a consummate professional.

Okay. So…what’s the big deal?

But he was also a middle-aged what man with a southern accent  who seemed unperturbed by this week’s news.

Oh, I see.  He was “OTHER.”  That must have been terrifying for you.

And while I had him in the apartment, I couldn’t stop thinking about whether he had voted for Trump, whether he knew my last name was Jewish, and how that knowledge might change the interaction we were having inside my own home.

Did you think to maybe stop and ask him if he had plans to kill you?  Or if his “perfectly nice” demeanor and “consummate professionalism” masked a hidden psychopath just waiting to berate and insult a special snowflake liberal pussy?  Or were you afraid he might not be woke enough to fix your drain in a socially conscious and environmentally friendly manner? Maybe your plumber was just sufficiently self-aware to understand that pipes clogged with quinoa, kale and organic Chinese food from the back of the fridge are neither Republican nor Democrat, and neither is the money he earns to fix them without actively trying to strike the fear of God into his customers when apparently he can do it just as well just by doing his job without comment.

I have no real reason to believe he was a Trump supporter or an anti-Semite, but in my uncertainty I couldn’t shake the sense of potential danger.  I was rattled for some time after he left.

So, to recap – your plumber was friendly, professional and competent, and because he did not openly share your beliefs, he scared the crap out of you?

How is this anyone’s problem but yours?

I’m very privileged insofar as this sense of danger is unfamiliar to me.  And I know I feel it much less acutely than a lot of other people right now. I’m still a straight, white guy who can phenotypically pass for gentile.  Plus my first name is pretty WASP-y.

You are “very privileged.”  You should CHECK THAT PRIVILEGE. And turn in your man card before some pixie lesbian looks cross-eyed at you and you burst into tears and throw your whole wallet at her.

But today was a reminder that ambiguous social interactions now feel unsafe and unpredictable in a way they never did before.

And it CAN’T POSSIBLY BE YOUR FAULT – YOUR “WOKE METER” IS FULLY FUNCTIONAL.

And even if Trump is gone in four years, I don’t expect to ever reclaim that feeling of security.

Buy a gun.  Drink some whiskey.  Wear tampons.

That’s just one more thing you voted for, if you voted for him.

Well, I didn’t vote for him, but if reading about how bad you pissed yourself in the presence of a man is any indication, I’m really going to enjoy the next for years, because THIS IS HOW YOU ELECTED TRUMP.

And if you don’t want the scary plumber to come back, here’s a suggestion, Ned:

FIBER.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

5 thoughts on “So This Is Making The Rounds Today”

  1. It was weird, but fun, reading the fisked version, just after reading the original version and mentally fisking it in nearly the same manner. Almost the exact words, at a couple points.

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  2. This blubbering child is terrified Trump supporters will treat him the way he dreams he could treat them... SJWs always project... The plumber was polite, professional, and did the job he was hired with dispatch. He just failed to offer the sekret Hilli-crat handshake...

    I never thought I'd read about bigger pussys than SmallBalls and the Kimber-Midget but this guy takes the Kotex!

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  3. They need to introduce this guy to the writer who claimed to suffer mild PTSD (and mild shoulder pain) after firing an AR-15 a couple of times at a range. I sure we can find a baker to make their wedding cake for them.

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  4. tl;dr - this liberal pussy preaches how everyone needs to stop stereotyping and be open and tolerant unless its a white middle aged male with a southern accent who, by the very definition of professionalism, keeps politics separate from doing his job. Then its okay to stereotype him as a trump supporter and someone who is going to kill you.

    got it.

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  5. When did my world become so surreal?
    If it had to become surreal, couldn't be be more like Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy rather than Idiocracy?

    Swear. To. God. I'm buying a 12 gauge next month.

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