And The Idiot Self-Identifies AGAIN!

It’s really quite remarkable.

This is DUMBFUCK’S most recent post promoting his most recent poopcast, I mean, podcast.

Let’s tally up the stupid, shall we?

Mr Eichenwald had just published his most recent story of Trump campaign malfeasance.

WRONG.

Mr. Eichenwald had just completed a self-immolation on the Tucker Carlson show, where he spent seven minutes filibustering rather than answer a simple question.

Then he checked his email.

WRONG.

He took to Twitter to mansplain how unfaaaaair! and wrooooong! it was of Tucker Carlson to force him not to answer questions.

Sound like anyone we know?

Dear old Mr. Eichenwald knocked out a mighty FORTY-SIX tweets in about as many minutes.

Sound like anyone we know?

Then he started deleting the really embarrassing ones.

Sound like anyone we know? 

There was a message from a false account with a fake name.

WRONG.

It was a tweet, not an email.  It was from a user with the handle @jew_goldstein. It’s not a fake name.  It’s a self-chosen name. Like @FatManPodcast.

The note said “You deserve a seizure today.”

Guess what?

WRONG.

As I mentioned, it wasn’t a note, it was a tweet. And there was no text except the @ mention of Mr. Eichenwald’s handle. And a .gif image. And the .gif contained a message, which of course SuperJournalist got…

WRONG.

Then Mr. Eichenwald was subjected to a strobe effect from his computer screen which sent him into a life-threatening seizure.

WRONG.

The tweet included an embedded .gif file.  The message in the .gif read “You deserve a seizure for your posts.” The .gif file did include a strobe effect. Here’s a capture of the image, which any actual reporter could have found with ease (sorry I can’t reproduce the strobe effect):

Mr. Eichenwald, a known epileptic, foolishly had his Twitter profile set to autoplay, so he had made a prior choice to accept any moving image anyone chose to send him.  Hardly wise.

But I digress.

I should note that there is only a report of an alleged seizure. But DUMBFUCK believes it happened, and as we know from experience, if DUMBFUCK believes it, then it must be the indisputable truth.

Except, not.

But in the end, what we have here is a story by a purported journalist of 30 FUCKING YEARS EXPERIENCE, in which every single salient fact is

WRONG.

Hard to believe, I know.

Other noteworthy bits that DUMBFUCK missed:

Mr. Eichenwald has filed a police report, and he hired a lawyer (really good call!) to request a deposition from Twitter to identify the user @jew_goldstein.  Clearly Mr. Eichenwald intends a civil lawsuit.

Sound like anyone we know?

SuperJournalist also passed on finding another important pair of facts- SURPRISE, SURPRISE!!

Epilepsy and Alcohol don’t go together real well, you know (kinda like FAKINSON’S DISEASE, right, driver-boy?)…

and Texas is a contributory negligence state.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

22 thoughts on “And The Idiot Self-Identifies AGAIN!”

  1. TRIGGER WARNING: Epilepsy, DUMBFUCK (may induce vomiting)

    [NO KIDDING!! IF YOU ARE PRONE TO SEIZURES, BE CAREFUL! I viewed the .gif on IMGUR, and I had to click play to see it. YMMV - PK]

    http://i.imgur.com/7SoKbMj.gif

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  2. ISTR Eichenwald had an earlier bit of journalistic trouble, involving paying a "source". The "source" and the story involved... child pornography!

    Weird how that aspect keeps popping up around the people turd-sniffer defends.

    (And opens a question: if paying a source is a journalistic sin, how come Eichenwald is still in the field? Shouldn't he, at least, be banished to the Backwoods Gazette and Advertiser in Eest BFE?)

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    1. I want to say the parallels are piling up with amazing speed, but Schmalfeldt has no straight edges. His body, mind and soul are all warped into flabby, disgusting, bloated wads of stinking goop.

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  3. Can Mr. Eichenwald be expected to misspell his own name twice in his forthcoming litigation?

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    1. I think that unlikely, mostly because he is intelligent enough to hire a lawyer, and will be neither writing nor utterly failing to proofread his own filings.

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  4. It can make drug side effects worse and anti-epileptic drugs can exaggerate the effects of the alcohol. Excessive or heavy drinking is likely to increase the risks of seizures and lead to other health problems. Ask your doctor about the effects of drinking alcohol with the medication you have been prescribed.
    Alcohol and Epilepsy.pdf
    www.ibe-epilepsy.org/downloads/Alcohol%20and%20Epilepsy.pdf

    Sounds like it wouldn't take much (if anything) to set off a seizure for that idiot. I bet his doc will be talking to him about his drinking, unless he already has and has given up trying to fix stupid.

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  5. I notice the crack (smoking) reporting DUMBFUCK doesn't question why a man who claims to have strobe light induced seizures made a video with his band surrounded by, you guessed it, strobe lights. A REAL reporter would have noticed that. Of course a REAL reporter wouldn't be so fucking stupid as to confuse Twitter with Email, and being humiliated on TV for finishing a story. God, he really is

    The World's Stupidest Man™

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  6. It amuses me that the avatar on Eichenwald's Twitter account resembles him not at all.

    He's another fat piece of goo, just like Cousin Bill.

    I call "bromance!" Not that there is anything wrong with that...

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    1. Oh, we don't! We expect exactly that.

      And we point. Laugh. Mock.

      And we always will.

      Always.

      Because FUN.

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    2. I'm with Paul, here - we're past anything except pointing and laughing.

      That was really amazing. Not a single "fact" was as related. That's...bad.

      Home, laptop, Christmas season!

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  7. Internet induced epileptic seizure. Like Two Girls and a Cup?
    I call bullshit.

    Merry Christmas Bill.
    Eat a bag of coal.

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  8. Can we stop with Bill's 30 years of journalistic whatever he espouses.

    We all know him saying he has 30 years of Investigative Journalism experience is like a taxi driver saying he was in the NHL for 30 years because he drove by the arena. He may have had to stop there occasionally to pick up a fare, but that's similar to Bill's investigative experience.

    Bill worked a couple of minor league jobs at papers in places like ButtFuck, Idaho and Kickapoo, Kansas; and he played show tunes on a radio station. (That last one would seem to verify what we all think about his fixation on the male anus) These minor league jobs he bounced around from were far from "investigative" journalism.

    Of course he's wrong. Bill's an uneducated, inexperienced hack with delusions of grandeur.

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      1. That did not work, here is the link.

        Note: Because this is a WordPress blog but is not hosted by WordPress, you need to enclose images in the HTML img tag to display them. PK

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  9. I think the FatFuck and Eichenwald are meant for each other, if you know what I mean. Wink, Wink, Nod, Nod.

    But then I realize it may not work out, seeing that Eichenwald is too fat to fit in a Cub Scout uniform. and so is Bwilly.

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  10. "Stay up 2 nights, get drunk w/ no sleep"

    Well, there is your problem. After 48 hours without sleep the last thing I'd be doing is spending time on the internet. Particularly if blinky lights could set off an episode. As one poorly designed banner ad could do it. Not that he wouldn't try to sue the advertiser but if I was in the jury, the rest of the behavior would be quite salient

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