Good Night Democrats. I’m Laughing At What You Have Become

It’s 1:21 am on Wednesday, November 9, 2016. There are six states that all of the networks say are too close to call. But the handwriting is on the wall.


It seems there is no path to victory for Hillary Clinton.

And the days of her power are at an end.

At the moment, Donald Trump has 248 electoral votes by the MSNBC count. He needs 22 more to be elected. By all appearances, he will get the votes he needs. In the states that have yet to be called, Trump leads Clinton in Arizona by 4.2%. in Wisconsin by 1.6%, in Michigan by 1.3% and in Pennsylvania by 1.2%. At this late hour, Clinton is running out of Democratic-leaning precincts in those four states and will likely lose their combined 57 electoral votes to Trump.

And you probably need another diaper change.

If this holds true, and the counting may not be finished by the morning hours, Trump will have 303 electoral votes.

And a fresh bottle of Johnnie Walker. Red for you, Blue for the Donald.

A man who has never held elective office.

But is older than 35 years of age and has lived in the United States for at least 14 years..

A man who has never done a lick of public service.

But is a natural born citizen of the United States.

A man with no governing expertise will be the leader of the free world.

Because the folks with all the expertise have just been doing a bang-up job lately.

It’s now 1:36 am.

Fifteen minutes? That’s a new personal record for wiping out a fifth of whiskey.

The Waaaaaaaaaah!shington Post just called the election for President-elect Donald Trump.

How is the world reacting?

Like something unexpectedly amazing and historic just happened.

The Dow Jones Industrial Futures fell by 750 points.

And completely recovered the next day.

The rest of the world is looking at the United States of America wondering just what the hell we are thinking.

But your liberal tears and outrage make GREAT coffee!

We just made Donald Trump the President-elect of the United States of America. This man will hold the office once occupied by George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Franklin D. Roosevelt and John F. Kennedy.

What about Andrew Johnson? Woodrow Wilson? Warren Harding? Herbert Hoover? Richard Nixon? Jimmy Carter? Barack Obama?  There are just as many below average Presidents as there are above average.  And you never know, he may rise to the occasion.

This clown. This buffoon.

Who beat the snot out of this criminal, this unprincipled harridan, this secretive ME-FIRST harpy.

This man who is accused of sexually assaulting at least 12 women.

I forget – is that more than or fewer than the number that Bill Clinton was – well, never mind, that was different. It’s okay when you do it, and all Democrats are forgiven anyway.  Party before principle, you know.  Maybe if someone had accused him of being a child pornographer…

This man who mocks disabled people.

You mean like you and your excellent friends do?

This man who has called for the jailing of his opponent.

You mean like you and your excellent friends do?

This man who has promised to take away the gains made under the Obama administration.

What gains are those?

  • Getting to keep your doctor? LIE.
  • Getting to keep your plan? LIE.
  • Saving $2500 per year in premiums? LIE.
  • Closing Gitmo? FAIL.
  • Tripling the deficit? FAIL.
  • Record percentages of people out of the work force? FAIL.

This man who has promised to deport undocumented immigrants, including revoking the citizenship of children born on American soil.

He said that? Really? You have sources, of course…oh wait, this is Bill Schmalfeldt we’re talking about.  Of course not – JOURNIMALISM!

This man who has promised to start World War III if Iranian sailors flip the bird to American ships.

Well, at least he will respond to provocation. I know four guys who wish Hillary had done the same instead of cowering under the bed when her 3 AM phone call came in 2012.

This man who refused to release his income taxes.

How about college transcripts, did he ever release those?  What about all the articles he penned for the Harvard Law Review? Oh, wait…different guy.

This man who was endorsed and embraced by the worst of white racists, including David Duke and the KKK.

Like Senator Byrd, right? The Klukker who endorsed our sitting President?

This man who attacks first and thinks later when someone makes fun of him.

As opposed to carefully considering her options and then having people killed to advance her personal agenda?  Great choice!

The man who started the “Birther” movement.

And then repented of it.  Like you just wanted to say about Senator Byrd, am I right?

As opposed to the woman who started the “Obama is a secret Muslim” movement.  Great choice.

This man. This Donald Trump. President-elect Donald Trump.

Own it, bro.  You supported a woman who had eight fucking years to remake herself into a candidate that people would like; eight years to lay the groundwork to hamstring Bernie Sanders and every other candidate out of her way.  Eight years of preparation and she still couldn’t get beyond the one fatal flaw that she was powerless to change.

Now comes Plaintiff William M. Schmalfeldt, Sr. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

You gave him a spineless Republican party to run the House and Senate.

Which is how Obama managed to achieve all those wonderful gains listed above!

You gave him the right to select an alt-right Supreme Court that will take away a woman’s right to making her own reproductive choices and to further strip away voting rights and other protections for the disenfranchised.

Waaaah!  Waaaaaah!  Waaaaaaaaah! To the victor go the spoils. I do kind of feel bad for the Notorious RBG, though.  She’s not going to be able to retire now, she’ll have to dig in and outlast Trump, poor girl.

You poor dopes who don’t have two nickels to rub together in your pockets.

After eight years of failed liberal policies, all you have is hope, because you sure ain’t got no change!

You gave your country to an insane megalomaniac who will use his power to line his pockets and those of his fellow rich guy pals.

Gosh, if only I could think of an example of someone else who has done this sort of thing, perhaps through a charitable foundation with which she shares a name, and which recently leaked emails have exposed as nothing more than a naked pay for play scheme.  Hmm…hmm…nope. Drawing a blank.  Damn.

You allowed your FBI to co-opt your ballot.

You mean “hopelessly corrupt, beholden to the Clintons and fearing a Vince Foster dénouement FBI” don’t you?  Please, be specific.

You have bowed to a Russian tyrant and his Wikileaks stooge who blatantly interfered in our most sacred democratic tradition.

Dead people registered to vote in California, Colorado, Virginia, and of course Chicago goes without saying, Black Panthers intimidating voters in Philadelphia, secret rooms where Democrats fill out blank absentee ballots in Broward County, machines flipping Trump votes to Clinton.

Sacred tradition. Uh-huh. Right. 

You sold us out. Your pockets will stay empty.

The same as the past 8 years under your guy.

Your families will still be paid substandard wages.

The same as the past 8 years under your guy.

Pollution will run rampant,

The same as the past 8 years under your guy.

Climate Change will be ignored.

The same as the past 8 years under your guy. You know those oceans never did recede, nor did the planet cool. The Lightbringer just never had the juice.

You did this America. You did this.

And in four years, we may just do it again!  How about that? Woo hoo!

Good night, America. I loved what you used to be. I just don’t recognize you any more.

Maybe try cleaning those new contact lenses.

(Editors Note: I must admit that I really, REALLY love this.  All the crap the Left commentariat pulled on Bush 43 when he was in office, and then immediately condemned when the Right fired back in kind at their guy El Jefe Hopenchange the last eight years, and they don’t even wait until the next morning to reclaim their familiar place in the moral sewer. I wonder how soon it will be before it’s cool to call Trump a monkey? – PK)


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

6 thoughts on “Good Night Democrats. I’m Laughing At What You Have Become”

  1. Libs started comparing Trump to a monkey months ago.

    Granted, that's just a comparison, not a direct statement. Shouldn't take long, though.

  2. You feeling okay HZIC? You drunk on all the Lib tears?
    You seem to be off your game; this is not nearly as bitter as what he deserves; what with the sheer arrogance considering his own moral turpitude.

    1. I am in a bit better mood today. My BSL (Blood Schadenfreude Level) is seven times the legal limit.

  3. He really is pretty fucking clueless isn't he? Everything he said about Trump could be applied X2 to Clinton, yet he ate her ass till the bitter end and all he has to show for it are his bitter tears, the feeling that he failed yet again to predict anything correctly, and shit balls in his nose. Well, to be honest those are his from rolling and sniffing his own shit as he himself, Bill "LIberalLad" Schmalfeldt has told us.


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