- You have the right to remain silent.
- Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law.
- Anything you say will be used against you in a court of law.
- You have the right to talk to a lawyer.
- You have a right to have a lawyer present with you while you are being questioned.
- You may not be able to afford to hire a lawyer, you poor bastard.
- If you cannot afford to hire a lawyer, a really crappy one will be appointed to represent you before any questioning.
- Unless you don’t want one. Then the police will lick their figurative chops, take maximum advantage of this terrible decision you have just made, and manipulate you into telling them everything, you idiot.
I’m in a goofy mood. Sue me.