The Words Do Speak For Themselves

It doesn’t matter how drunk Bill Schmalfeldt is.

It doesn’t matter how fat Bill Schmalfeldt is.

It doesn’t matter how bald Bill Schmalfeldt is.

It doesn’t matter how stupid Bill Schmalfeldt is (though actually, I think it does).

It doesn’t matter how demented Bill Schmalfeldt is.

It doesn’t matter how affected by Parkinson’s disease Bill Schmalfeldt is.

It doesn’t matter how “otherwise crippled” Bill Schmalfeldt is.

It doesn’t matter how widowed Bill Schmalfeldt is.

Because he’s a DUMBFUCK, and that can’t be fixed.

And the words speak for themselves.

When Bill Schmalfeldt says “If you ever had children, Jane, assuming you could find a man willing to touch you, I would be only too happy to urinate on them. With you as their mother, it would be the best thing ever to happen to them. At least the water would be warm.”

…the words speak for themselves.

When Bill Schmalfeldt says “Now I am wheelchair bound. There are outward and not-quite-so-visible signs of increased degeneration, including the onset of early Parkinson’s disease dementia.”

…the words speak for themselves.

When Bill Schmalfeldt says “Heck, if you’re a man and you’re honest with yourself, you LIKE being on the “doling it out” end of anal sex. How many heterosexual men reading this diary right now have never asked their wife or girlfriend to just take a deep breath, relax, “I’ll just put in the tip and we’ll see how it goes,” and then you ram it home like Captain Kidd jamming his sword back into his scabbard while she hollers “takeitouttakeitouttakeitout” and you tell her to just relax and it won’t hurt so bad and she starts kicking and screaming “takeitOUTtakeitOUTtakeitOUT youfuckingbastardpieceofshit” and you finally do (because the walls are thin and your neighbors just LOVE calling the cops) and you tell her she should have at least given herself a chance to relax and enjoy it and she (if she’s your wife) doesn’t let you anywhere near her with “that thing” for weeks and if she’s your girlfriend she stops returning your calls?”

…the words speak for themselves.

When Bill Schmalfeldt says “please don’t read it if you’re going to be offended by it. If you read it and are offended by it, you have been warned. In fact, if you read it and are offended by it after being warned, then it is YOUR fault you were offended. Not mine.”

…the words speak for themselves.

When Bill Schmalfeldt says “When I wiped, there was this little bright green glob on the paper. I decided to examine it. I rolled it around a little. I sniffed it. It was like a booger, only far, FAR stinkier! Never — NEVER — have I seen such a thing in my stool.”

…the words speak for themselves.

When Bill Schmalfeldt says “McCain wrote the words or he did not. I believe he did. YMMV”

…the words speak for themselves.

Just…don’t ask what they say.

Yesterday, Bill Schmalfeldt tweeted this:

When he eventually deletes this tweet, as he always does, all that will remain is this screen cap:

…the words speak for themselves.

But this screencap where Bill Schmalfeldt attempts to insult Stacy by noting that he is “exiled from Twitter” is more than sufficient reason to provide the following list of Twitter handles, ALL OF WHICH belong to Bill Schmalfeldt:

  • @TheLibrulGrouch
  • @TeabagTribune
  • @DaLiberalGrouch
  • @BooksOBilly
  • @DeadAndrew
  • @PatriotOmbud
  • @LibGrouchcast
  • @LordOfSatire
  • @hamiltonpigg
  • @LiberalGrouch
  • @hoggyjr1
  • @RadioWMS
  • @Radio_Slappy
  • @TheLiberalGrouch
  • @TeamSchmalfeldt
  • @FightRightRadio
  • @BillSchmalfeldt
  • @hoggysenior
  • @HogeWJJ
  • @wjjjhoge
  • @LobotomyRadio
  • @WMSRADIO1943
  • @PoopFlakedBeard
  • @DeepBrainRadio
  • @DespicableBill
  • @DerangedComic
  • @BrainSlices
  • @RadioWiseguy
  • @PatOmbudsman
  • @WMSRadioNetwork
  • @DystopianHijinx
  • @ParkinsonsRadio
  • @DeepBrainTV
  • @Parkinsonsmedia
  • @BlitzParkinsons
  • @BalmerLiberal
  • @WMSdb
  • @OnlineRadioSRN
  • @grouchyoldlib
  • @grouchcast
  • @TheHonyockKing
  • @TheGrouchcast
  • @AudioOddities
  • @Grouchcast365
  • @DeepBrainRadio
  • @DeepBrainMedia
  • @waroftheweasels
  • @Mr_Plaintiff

48 unique Twitter handles. All created by Bill Schmalfeldt. All SUSPENDED by Twitter.

Maybe the 49th time will be the charm and he’ll get the message. We can hope.

And then there’s this notion that Bill Schmalfeldt is in a position to judge R.S. McCain as a man who does not stand behind his words.

When Bill Schmalfeldt writes:

Oleh: Bill Schmalfeldt
March 26, 2014

(A PIECE OF CREATIVE FICTION IN LOVING TRIBUTE TO A CERTAIN FELLOW IN WESTMINSTER, MD AS I IMAGINE HIS HOMELIFE.)

I can picture old, crazy, borderline senile WJJ Hoge sitting at his rickety desk, the house filled with the unpleasant musk of “old man.” He stares at a blank WordPress page and considers his next topic.

“Are you pondering what I’m pondering,” he asks aloud. From somewhere in the basement, his leviathan son giggles. The plate collection on the walls, stolen from Stuckey’s Restaurants around the country, rattle as the mammoth man child chuckles.
Hoge puts his face in his hands.

“No, those never get more than one or two comments, and they are of the most ass-kissing variety.”

Not that Hoge minds the feel of soft lips on his puckered bung. He rather enjoys it. But it is CONTROVERSY he seeks.

“Write something about Kimberlin,” his wife hollers from the bedroom where she’s been holed up since getting home from work with a stack of supermarket tabloids and a pint of gin.

“Blast you, Woman!” he bellows. “I’ll do the writing. You do the drinking. Understood?”

She responds with a healthy belch/fart combination. Again the plates rattle and for a moment Hoge fears some may fall from the crude plate holders his son made as part of his occupational training at that special school he went to for all those many, many years.

He looks at his combined output for the past week. Contributions have dwindled to nothing. So has his fan base. Oh, they’re prolific, but they are few.

Rain
SPQR
The idiot Frankie
Gus Bailey
tomblvd
The execrable Howard Earl
The hopeless, hapless LibraryGryffon
The felonious Kyle Kiernan
The pretend general, ersatz cancer victim Paul Lemmen
The annoying EPWJ
The crazed Bettina Haper
Some numbskull called “The Onlooker”
Someone mocking The Cabin Boy’s dead brother “The Bobber”
The phony cousin Leroy Oddswatch
The mental case Palatine Pundit
And good old Aaron Worthing Walker. The St. Peter to his Christ fixation. The only one of the bunch worth a good god damn.

Sixteen Apostles. More than Jesus had. So there’s that. And they attend his every word, like true disciples. They would kill if he ordered them to. And it might come to that. He would turn to Kiernan, the felon or Palatine Pundit, the self-professed nut case if it ever came to that.

Hoge knows he has an epistle in him. He knows he has wisdom to impart. The problem is, the apostles are incapable of absorbing wisdom. It’s like trying to communicate with starlings. He has their love. Their devotion. But he knows he has something even more valuable.

He owns their hate. All he need do is start a thread about the Evil One, and his Team Lickspittle will fall into line and do the work he has neither the patience nor the belly to do for himself.
Not that he didn’t try. Jesus. 366 charges and the only thing that stuck was an unenforceable peace order. Well, there’s more than one way to skin a fat problem.

“Are you talking about me, Daddy?” And Hoge realizes he spoke those last words out loud.

“Go back to your room and masturbate, son. Daddy’s thinking.”

“Yay! Pretend girl time,” his son blurts and the house shakes again as he lumbers down the stairs. Again, Hoge worries about the plates on the wall.

The Hoge legacy. The proud Hoge lineage will end with IV. III has long since understood that. His bride won’t touch him.

Murdering her is out of the question since she makes the real money.

“Never mind, never mind,” he grumbles to himself. “Must think, Must think.”

Then it dawns on him, like a 350 watt lightbulb with no shade, glaring in the dark cavern of his brain.

“Kimberlin is beyond my reach. But Schmalfeldt. HAH! He could die any day. Have you seen how much weaker he looked in January than he looked a year ago,” he asks no one.

“Bluuuuuh…” his wife belches. She is still pretty, but the bitterness has ruined her mind. Sad.

Schmalfeldt. He will pay for Kimberlin’s crimes. I know Schmalfeldt, the CABIN BOY, knows more about the nefarious evil of Kimberlin than he lets on. If I squeeze that zit, it will pop.” He realizes, too late, that he has just squeezed a zit on his own forehead. The pus and blood mix like catsup and mayonnaise from the edge of a burger.

“Yes, a burger,” he says to himself. First a burger, then the blog.”

He realizes all he needs to do is offer a simple, not-particularly-inflammatory blog post about Schmalfeldt. It doesn’t need to be inflammatory. The lickspittles will make it so with their comments. And it’s THEIR comments that are defamatory. Not his, he gloats. THEY are the defamers, not me, he says as he reaches the kitchen, opens the mayo jar and recoils from the smell. There is no fresh jar in the cupboard.

“DAMN IT STRAIGHT TO BLEEDING HELL,” he shrieks. “Not tonight,” his wife slurs from under a blanket of tabloid newspapers.

He glares with baleful, contempt in his eyes at the first and only woman he has ever touched.

He pads back to the computer and poots forth a few words about some LIE he will invent as told by the horrible, criminal, inept Cabin Boy.

He hits the “send button,” and feels a feeling of comfortable warmth.

“DAMN IT STRAIGHT TO JESUS!” he shrieks as he realizes he has wet himself yet again.

…the words speak for themselves.

When Bill Schmalfeldt says in an archived podcast that he deleted this post after less than an hour, even though an archived copy of the post was created on March 26, 2014, two days later, as was my Word copy of the post…

…the words speak for themselves.

When Bill Schmalfeldt claims

Dear Stupid.

Do you know why I took that blog post down?

BECAUSE I FELT BAD ABOUT WRITING IT!!

I believe I still have it in my files and could have reposted it at any time?

You know why I didn’t repost it, “Paul”? Because I am a decent human being. I am prone to lapses like anyone else. But when I feel I’ve crossed a line. I generally will correct myself and remove an offending piece from publication.

You, on the other hand, “Paul”?

Here’s what we need. We need proof…something more that the liar Hoge’s say so…that you “sold” your rights to that blog to him. Monday morning, MAy 5, 10am ET will suffice.

I would like to see a copy of the document by which you sold your rights to Mr. Hoge. As a directly affected party, I believe a judge will award me that right.

So, let’s not go there. Let’s do this nice, quick and clean.

OK?

…the words speak for themselves.

When Bill Schmalfeldt says “I stand by the things I’ve written”

…the words speak for themselves.

And oh, by the way – here’s a small, incomplete and nonexhastive sampling of the blogs Bill Schmalfeldt has created that no longer exist:

1. allergic2bull.com
2. anonymouscowardsanonymous.wordpress.com
3. bigdamnation.com
4. billschmalfeldt.bandcamp.com
5. billschmalfeldt.com
6. billtheradioguy.blogspot.com
7. billybigrig.wordpress.com
8. billywisdom.com
9. borderlessnewsandviews.com
10. breitbartsbane.com
11. cabinboycomedy.com
12. cheeseskreist.com
13. deepbraindiary.com
14. deepbrainmedia.com
15. deepbrainradio.com
16. dementeddemocrat.wordpress.com/
17. derangedcyberstalker.blogspot.com
18. deterioradio.com
19. digitaljournal.com/user/892593
20. gutcheck2011.wordpress.com
21. hogewash.net
22. howardcountyexaminer.com
23. i-got-yer-lawsuit-right-here.com
24. liberal-grouchcast.tumblr.com
25. liberalgrouch.com
26. liberalgrouch.net
27. liberalgrouch.wordpress.com
28. live365.com/stations/fauxnewsradio
29. lobotomysandwich.com
30. lordofsatire.com
31. maxpayload.blogspot.com
32. mementomaury.com
33. oldunclebastard.com
34. onlinesrn.blogspot.com
35. parkybill.pressbooks.com
36. parkybill.wordpress.com
37. parkyplace.wordpress.com
38. parkypundit.com
39. patriot-ombudsman.com
40. plus.google.com/+billschmalfeldt21075
41. radiofreemaryland.blogspot.com
42. radiowms.com
43. roydhemmer.blogspot.com
44. schmalfeldt.org
45. schmalfeldtmemorial.wordpress.com
46. slappymcwingnut.com
47. teamschmalfeldt.com
48. theelkridgeinciter.blogspot.com
49. theliberalgrouch.com
50. twitteringmorans.wordpress.com
51. waiting4theworms.blogspot.com
52. year55.pdguy.com
53. zandali.forumotion.com
54. theliberalgrouch.net
55. liberalgrouch.podomatic.com
56. maxgluteus.com
57. endtimestribune.com
58. liberalgrouch.blogspot.com
59. colorectorama.wordpress.com
60. audioodditiesarchives.com
61. trailertrashtalk.com
62. ourfamilyhospice.wordpress.com
63. kingofthehonyocks.com
64. memoriesofgail.wordpress.com
65. grouchcast.com
66. hardboiledradio.com
67. musicforyourmind.org
68. patriotombudsman.com
69. noradioforoldmen.com
70. thecranialvault.blogspot.com
71. lakesideinquisitor.org
72. schmalfeldt.org
73. classichitswms.com
74. ih8radio.net
75. dirtyschnitzel.com
76. lakebreezeradio.com
77. i94radio.com
78. themerrywidower.com
79. thermonuclearlawfare.com
80. victrola.blastpod.com
81. thepontificator.com
82. youngestoldman.com
83. year55.wordpress.com
84. parkinsondiary.com
85. galleryofoddcasts.com
86. billmunko.com
87. thetruthtribune.com
88. galaxyofoddcasts.com
89. rdio-drumpf.com
90. parkinsonspersecution.com
91. billschmalfeldt.net
92. trumperama.com
93. stogiecarbuncle.com
94. alt-rt-del.com

It’s only 94 blogs that he no longer stands behind. That I could find.

That’s not many, is it? Certainly not for a lifelong failure DUMBFUCK like Bill Schmalfeldt who stands behind his words.

You must understand that we are dealing with a GS13 MASTER JOURNIMALIST of over THREE FUCKING DECADES EXPERIENCE, if you count the years he also drove a truck as being a journimalist, too.

He’s got shitloads (emphasis on the first syllable) of integrity.

He deserves a little slack.

And by “little” I mean, so little as be indistinguishable from ZERO.

As a far better writer, journalist, husband, father and human being than Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt once wrote: “All that is necessary to discredit Bill Schmalfeldt, it to quote Bill Schmalfeldt.”

bigger shine box

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

54 thoughts on “The Words Do Speak For Themselves”

  1. When Bill Schmalfeldt says (to a Sheriff and a States Attorney): "I have already sought charges against a Tennessee individual for alleging that I create child pornography, another probably untrue allegation. "

    the words speak for themselves.

    Like(12)Dislike(0)
    1. I wanted to add that, but I didn't have time to find the actual document to pull the quote!

      Like(8)Dislike(0)
  2. Bill Schmalfeldt, the man who:
    -bought his journalism credentials on the internet.
    -couldn't keep a job for 2 years in a row at any media outlet
    -banned from liberal site , The Daily Kos"
    -banned from "The Examiner"

    And now officially - "Krendler's Bitch"™

    Like(12)Dislike(0)
  3. One of Cabin Boy's commentators says:
    Drunky McCain the Racist Drunk • 19 hours ago
    "I suppose some things are harder to swallow than others." You know Beggar McCain's j**z tastes like cheap beer and homemade hooch.

    I have to wonder how Drunky McCain the Racist Drunk (or even Cabin Boy) knows what anyone else's j**z tastes like?

    Like(12)Dislike(0)
  4. It occurred to me:

    When Bill Schmalfeldt says “When I wiped, there was this little bright green glob on the paper. I decided to examine it. I rolled it around a little. I sniffed it. It was like a booger, only far, FAR stinkier! Never — NEVER — have I seen such a thing in my stool.”

    If he's got stuff that belongs in his sinuses coming out of his ass, wouldn't that suggest that he truly is a shit-for-brains?

    Like(10)Dislike(0)
  5. Great job. The quotes above are "an appropriately brutal and true depiction of events."

    I endorse the contents of this article as truthful and thereby restate the remarks.

    Countdown to the Cabin Boy accusing HZIC of stalking to get the number of Twitter suspensions and blog deletions in 3...2...1

    Like(9)Dislike(0)
  6. He didn't just drive a truck. He introduced show-tunes, too. Just like Woodward and Bernstein did before him.

    Like(11)Dislike(0)
    1. Until, alas, he was allegedly fired for going off on political tangents on a channel dedicated to show tunes. Takes a mountain of stupid to think a show tune channel is a great spot for your political rantings despite being told to stop.

      Say, I'm sensing a pattern here. People keep telling Bill to stop. Bill doesn't listen. Bad things happen to Bill. A lifetime of example and he STILL hasn't learned. World's Stupidest Man™

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  7. The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt wrote:

    "Now, I apologize for this, but you're going to wind up being the Monica Lewinsky for Jeremy's Bill Clinton unless you start telling the truth and start telling it quick. You've already had 'the media's' interest in this case explained to you. Now, do you wanna play dumb and lose your kids? Or do you wanna play smart and keep what you got? I am not making any threats. I'm just trying to help you avoid a shit storm for some giggling fuck who doesn't give a rat's ass about you. Do you really want to be dragged through the mud for THIS giggling shitwit? I'll wait to hear..."

    ... the words speak for themselves.

    Like(8)Dislike(0)
  8. The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt wrote:

    "Anytime I've been in a bar fight, I'm generally the guy standing. I can't do it physically anymore, but if you dipshits really want to go to court with me, BRING IT. And send me pictures of your homes, because they will be mine. And your wives. They'll be mine, too. Everything you own. Mine. Anything else you want to talk about, dickface?"

    ... the words speak for themselves.

    Note: The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt has initiated SEVEN... count them... SEVEN LOLSUITS... since making the comment posted above, and he has yet to be rewarded anyone's homes and wives.

    Go figure. #ButthurtIsNotATort

    Like(5)Dislike(0)
    1. Or even so much as one thin dime, or even a nominal penny. If he really wants to sue the person who destroyed his good name...well, I don't know, but I don't think it's feasible to sue yourself.

      Like(5)Dislike(0)
    2. Let's not forget, he was caught lying about the bar fights. And about the fight in high school. Notice how he has to point out that he fought an older guy like that makes him tougher or some kind of hero. My guess is there were no fights. Bill strikes me as the type that was a cowardly then as he is now.

      http://imgur.com/a/rGeNv

      Like(1)Dislike(0)
  9. The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt wrote:

    "I said, you're not going to like what happens if you continue.

    They continued.

    Therefore, I am not responsible for what happens next.

    Aaron Walker? Ali Akbar? R. Stacy McCain? WJJ Hoge?

    You won't know when. You won't know where. You won't know how.

    But you sure as FUCK will know why."

    ... the words speak for themselves.

    *yaaaaawn*

    Like(5)Dislike(0)
  10. The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt wrote:

    "If you morons would just forget #brettkimberlin even exists and go about your lives, you would be happier and no one would be investigating." – November 30, 2012

    ... the words speak for themselves.

    Team Kimberlin? What Team Kimberlin? Conspiracy? What conspiracy?

    ******************************

    NOTE: GOOGLE BRETT KIMBERLIN – THE SPEEDWAY BOMBER
    Convicted domestic-terrorist bomber, perjurer, forger, drug dealer, etc. – Currently on unsupervised parole – Runs various "not-for-profit" organizations – Engages in long-term Shutuppery Lawfare against those who dare speak of his violent and lawless past

    GOOGLE BILL SCHMALFELDT – OWNER OF NINE RESTRAINING ORDERS FOR CYBERHARASSMENT AND CYBERSTALKING

    The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt refers to Brett "The Speedway Bomber" Kimberlin as an "excellent friend."

    ... the words speak for themselves.

    Like(4)Dislike(0)
  11. "An appropriately brutal and true depiction of events."

    And posts like this are why our beloved HZIC is THE Prince of Parody (may DONATIONS and FUN be upon him always).

    Like(6)Dislike(0)
  12. Great job. The quotes above are "an appropriately brutal and true depiction of events."

    I endorse the contents of this article as truthful and thereby restate the remarks.

    Like(4)Dislike(0)
  13. When asked about their tenant's fantasies about child rape, coprophilia, and murder Certain nuns at Canticle and Juniper Courts declined to comment 😛

    Like(5)Dislike(0)
  14. (Golf Clap) Bravo!1!1!!!1!

    An EPIC beat down of the Worthless Willy!

    And if this was a bar fight, he would be the first one on the deck, in a puddle of his own piss, screaming for mommy to make the hurt go away.

    Like(6)Dislike(0)
  15. The fact that the best part of your new trainwreck of a "show" was the dead air as you struggled to figure out how to log in (because DUMBFUCK)...

    ....that speaks for itself

    Like(4)Dislike(0)
    1. Would have been much better to do a PSA on the worthless neckless lying turds on online dating sites.

      Like(5)Dislike(0)
  16. Has any other human being in life failed more than Bill Schmalfeldt?

    Anyone?

    Anyone?

    Like(5)Dislike(0)
  17. Oh, Cuz...

    What a shining beacon of what NOT to aspire to you have become.

    There. That. That is your sole accomplishment in this life:

    THE BAD EXAMPLE.

    Congrats. I think...

    You are Krendler's Bitch™ - never doubt it, as Paul is in your head, rent free, 24/7/365, for the pitiful time you have left!

    Like(6)Dislike(0)
    1. "Krendler's Bitch™"

      Damn! How can one insignificant, lower life form, inane, piece-of-shit, collect so many nicknames?

      I think I am going to start using that one.

      Thanks Roy!

      Like(5)Dislike(0)
    1. But people are paying attention to him. That it's negative attention is OK because that's the only kind of attention he is ever going to deserve.

      Like(1)Dislike(0)
  18. John George Ringo Paul, that was an appropriately brutal and true depiction of events.

    Like(2)Dislike(0)
  19. When the dementia addled Bill Schmalfeldt say that due to continuing deterioration of his executive functions:

    “But I can no longer expect, or ask, anyone to take what I write as fact.”

    ...the words speak for themselves.

    Like(1)Dislike(0)
    1. exactly this.... he already told the world you can't believe a thing he writes.....

      Like(0)Dislike(0)
  20. I think this post and thread deserves to be sticky on top, or at least given some special status. If anybody wonders who Bill Schmalfeldt is, and why all the fuss, they should be directed to this post. It really does explain it all.

    It's almost like a K-Tel Greatest Hits album. A veritable cornucopia of his best quotes.

    Like(0)Dislike(0)

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