The Reasons Are Patently Obvious, And They Don’t Matter

Billy Sez:

I don’t know why it’s important to anybody. I certainly do not need to explain my reasoning for getting a driver’s license and a good old fashioned “beater with a heater.”

I don’t care what reasons he wants to give for buying a car.  I know why he bought a car.

He bought a car for the same reason he has bought all the other useless crap he’s accumulated since moving to Wisconsin.  He’s a four year old in the cereal aisle of life and Mommy’s not around to stop him ripping open every box in sight.

Unchecked impulse control issues, thy name is Bill Schmalfeldt.

As soon as the shine wore off the $2300 Scootypuff (It was red! Vrooom, VROOM!) he kicked it to the curb and bought a car.  And some new computers, audio equipment, an Apple Watch, contact lenses to stain with poop and God only knows what else.

I’m sure when the beater-with-a-heater coughs it up, there’ll be a new Ford F350 or Chevy Silverado replacing it.

Hey, when ya don’t have that extra mouth and two dogs to feed…but he’s obviously working on fixing one of those issues.

Yeah, I know why he bought a car, and why he bought everything else.

And I don’t care.

I’m just awfully glad to know that the cure for late stage ELEVENTYIVLIAR Parkinson’s disease is as simple as waiting for your wife to snuff and then hightailing it to Wisconsin.

Someone should notify Michael J. Fox.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

7 thoughts on “The Reasons Are Patently Obvious, And They Don’t Matter”

  1. I wonder if the Snuff-Wisconsin treatment program is good for other diseases as well?

    I'm just glad that he has finally manned up and revealed that the whole PD thing was just a huge bluff. Everybody knew it Now everyone can relax and move on to other business,

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  2. Hmmmmm, now that KB has admitted to owning a car and having a drivers license, he has no excuse not attending IN PERSON the next Hearing in Hoge's lawsuit against him.

    Let's see him try and convince the Judge that he can't travel again.

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    1. Here's a trivia question I'd love to have answered:
      In how many court filings has Bill Schmalfeldt perjuriously claimed NOT to be able to drive/have a license/etc ?

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