I don’t know why it’s important to anybody. I certainly do not need to explain my reasoning for getting a driver’s license and a good old fashioned “beater with a heater.”
I don’t care what reasons he wants to give for buying a car. I know why he bought a car.
He bought a car for the same reason he has bought all the other useless crap he’s accumulated since moving to Wisconsin. He’s a four year old in the cereal aisle of life and Mommy’s not around to stop him ripping open every box in sight.
Unchecked impulse control issues, thy name is Bill Schmalfeldt.
As soon as the shine wore off the $2300 Scootypuff (It was red! Vrooom, VROOM!) he kicked it to the curb and bought a car. And some new computers, audio equipment, an Apple Watch, contact lenses to stain with poop and God only knows what else.
I’m sure when the beater-with-a-heater coughs it up, there’ll be a new Ford F350 or Chevy Silverado replacing it.
Hey, when ya don’t have that extra mouth and two dogs to feed…but he’s obviously working on fixing one of those issues.
Yeah, I know why he bought a car, and why he bought everything else.
And I don’t care.
I’m just awfully glad to know that the cure for late stage ELEVENTYIVLIAR Parkinson’s disease is as simple as waiting for your wife to snuff and then hightailing it to Wisconsin.
Someone should notify Michael J. Fox.