Sometimes You Just KNOW…Because You KNOW

So I see that no one at Cabin Boy Unread is giving an active shit about Bill Schmalfeldt’s obsession with “me,” Patrick Grady.

He KNOWS I am Patrick Grady. Because he KNOWS so much that isn’t so.

He admitted that I’m right about everything. Like I said, a better journalist on my worst day than him on his best.

You KNOW that’s true.

He went and published an article about a little road trip he made to Palatine, Illinois, where I don’t live.

But he KNOWS I do. Because he KNOWS so much that isn’t so.

He took a selfie outside the Palatine Police Department, in the town where I don’t live.

But he KNOWS I really do. Because he KNOWS so much that isn’t so.

Whether he actually went inside and spoke to the police is an open question, because he’s a liar.

You KNOW that’s true.

Whether he actually rented a car is another open question, because he’s a liar. But I think he probably did. That low animal cunning probably told him a known rust-bucket parked outside his victim’s house would be noticed; outside his victim’s church, too.

You KNOW that’s true.

Did he stalk the house and the church? This is Mr. Self Control we’re talking about. No one to stop him caving to an irresistible urge (It’s red. Vroom, VROOM!!) like that?

Oh, you KNOW that’s true.

And all his promises about the Palatine Police coming to hunt “me” down in the town where I don’t live…is it a 100% chance that it will turn out just exactly the same as every other time Bill Schmalfeldt, noted liar and adjudicated stalker and harasser, has predicted CHARGES for CRAHMS (Federal, state and local) for everyone who has looked askance upon him and laughed at his grossly inflated self-image?  Or his self-inflated unimaginable grossness, for that matter?

Everybody KNOWS that’s true.

But that isn’t even the reason I’m here.

Now that Cabin Boy Unread has reverted to being a vehicle of personal character assassination rather than of legitimate (if crackpot-level uninformed) political commentary, readership has predictably broken through the bottom of the barrel and begun leaking through the wrecked foundation.  The article about Bill’s jolly road trip has garnered just four comments.

First, a commenter called Crime Doesn’t Pay weighed in.  This is a common tactic of loser journalists desperate for the feel of soft tongue on their bruised and filthy egos. Log a fresh comment under a fake name tied to the topic of the post to start a conversation.  He’ll never appear again under that name.

You KNOW that’s true.

Second, yank the string-on-a-ring in the back of your ankle-biting pal. And right on cue, there’s Fifi!

You can almost see the saliva and hear the bell, can’t you?

Then there’s Mark in MD, a curiosity across the Web for his uncanny ability to appear and comment only wherever Bill Schmalfeldt happens to be posting that day. And nowhere else, ever.

You KNOW what that means.  Rule #39.

And finally, there’s DUMBFUCK himself, creatively copying wholesale a post from right here, and wondering what “I” will say to the police who have already forgotten that he visited them yesterday.

How do we KNOW that’s true?

The same way he can KNOW that Patrick Grady (and only Patrick Grady) must have come to St. Francis to take a picture of a car, while at the same time he can DENY KNOWLEDGE OR INFORMATION SUFFICIENT TO FORM A BELIEF that Brett Kimberlin is a drug-dealing, perjuring domestic terrorist with a thing for little girls who blew off Carl DeLong’s leg with a bomb in a gym bag.

We just close our eyes, wish really, REALLY HARD, clap our hands, and it all becomes magically true! Plus, Tinkerbell will fly again!  



Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

12 thoughts on “Sometimes You Just KNOW…Because You KNOW”

  1. Hell, according to Bill, I'm Grady.

    (I'm really Spartacus!)

    But to my knowledge, the only person who has publicly claimed to be Krendler, in a copywrong filing sworn under penalty of perjury, is Bill Schmalfeldt.

    Then, after all that, there is my very best evidence that Grady is not Krendler: Bill Schmalfeldt says Grady is Krendler.

  2. Oh, Bill. Avenged Sevenfold DID try to warn you.

    You shoulda known the price of evil,
    And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah.
    No one to call, everybody to fear,
    Your tragic fate is looking so clear.
    It's -your- fuckin' nightmare.

  3. Ok. I've been quiet up until now. But-

    I am Krendler.

    That's right. I said it. So it is written so let it be done.

    One more path for you to backtrack and analyze (and I know you do), Fat Bastard. The sticky with my name on it (number 13 and moving up with a bullet!) now needs a length of string going to the Krendler sticky. That's the BIG one in the middle.

    Nope: You don't have to acknowledge I've given you something to do all day Saturday. Free of charge- Because I'm that kinda' guy. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    Just saying.

  4. Bilk found you a woman, now that you have a vehicle no reason you can not get to Amherst Junction, Wisconsin. You two can go Stalking together. At 6'4" she might be to much woman for you.

  5. Now did his "article" actually state that he went to Palatine, IL. to search out Patrick?

    If so, that is stalking and he violated his Restraining Order.

    Time to pay the piper Shakes.

    1. It did not "actually" state that.

      But in the same way Bill Schmalfeldt "knows" that Grady drove to St. Francis to take a picture of his turdmobile, we all "know" that's why he went to Palatine.


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