Self Awareness Fail, Part 8,637,426

Oh, and just a reminder.  He thinks he came up with that line himself.  This is from July 6, 2014.

20140706-190655-68815919.jpgUPDATE:

Looks like someone has forgotten the Fair Use rules he used to swing around like a dead spouse when stealing whole posts without permission as recently as 6 days ago.  In other words, SUE ME.

Next time will be the first, and it will never happen.  That was my pal Agent Starling, aka K.GNU from down near Racine, where they don’t issue IL license plates, you transparent liar.

What color was the car, monkey?

monkey_dance

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

35 thoughts on “Self Awareness Fail, Part 8,637,426”

  1. As usual, the best way to make sociopath Bill Schmalfeldt shit himself with rage:
    Play By HIS Rules.

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  2. Want to talk about fail?

    "His craggy face carries the scars of many battles. Wounded by sword and arrow, he is not a General to be taken lightly..."

    What. The. Everlovin. FUCK?!?

    Your "craggy face," dented by the impact of many dicks, carries no scars of any battles. You would literally shit yourself if faced with a real sword or arrow. You are a fucking goldbricking stolen valor loser. You sucked so much at life that you had to make up exploits of your military service to try and win an INTERNET ARGUMENT!!! Let that soak into that thumb shaped lump of shit above your shoulders, Fatass. You were getting your ass handed to you on the internet when you made up your "Lyin of Lebanon" escapades. Do you have any clue how pathetic that makes you?

    Those of us (me) who have experienced war up close and personal.... you are a douchetool first class (DT1 before they got rid of the Navy rating system). You wouldn't be able to face ISIS sheep harems without peeing yourself into oblivion, and faced with the actual real deal in combat? It is a certainty that you would run screaming like the pussy you are.

    Oh, by the way, internet General Badass.... why wouldn't one take a "General" who has been repeatedly wounded and has nothing concrete to show for it "lightly?" Those of us who have been downrange would be more likely to follow the General who keeps his/her men safe and his/her own ass out of as much mayhem as he/she can while still getting the mission accomplished.

    Another example of you knowing jack and shit about combat, soldiers, Generals, or anything else about the military save what you read on your pinko commie anti-military jackoff sites.

    You, Fatass... are a total waste of genetic material and the sooner your stolen valor ass assumes room temp... the better.

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    1. What lorddewclaw (aka Baghdaddewclaw) said. You're a legend in your own mind, DUMBFUCK, and nowhere else.

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      1. "A foolish consistency," Emerson insisted, "is the hobgoblin of little minds." That may well be, but editors have enough reasons to reject your work; don't let sloppy inconsistencies be one of them. The New York Times Manual of Style & Usage was written for the paper's editors and writers, but it is a fine, up-to-date resource for anyone's use. Our language is ever-mutating, and a guide such as this will ensure that you understand the impact your words might have before they reach print. Should you use Native Americans or American Indians? Debark or disembark?" That's a quote from a Amazon review reprinted without permission but under fair use. Anywho-

        It lead me to ask myself, "Self, should you use Dumbfuck or DUMBFUCK? DUMBF5CK or dumbfuck?" I know. Let's see what the New York Times Style Guide says.

        Here 'tis:

        DUMBF5CK is acceptable as the preferred singular term for Bill Schmalfeldt: DUMBF5CK was mistaken. In its traditional sense, meaning a idiot with a F5 key-fixation, the noun can useful way to abjure offending those with tender sensibilities: DUMBF5CK dances with the monkeys yet again. (In this sense, the singular is datum, a word both stilted and deservedly obfuscated lest children inadvertently see it.)

        From FAQs on Style:

        Some readers object to this as overly permissive, or would at least like us to make up our minds. But Latin names like this do sometimes make a gradual transition in English to being used as a collective singular.“ As in DUMBF5CKERY.

        Strange but true.

        We report you decide.

        We control the horizontal.

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        1. "A foolish consistency," Emerson insisted, "is the hobgoblin of little minds."

          People excuse themselves with this saying when they are incapable of accomplishing a task the same way twice in a row.

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      2. "Legend in his own mind."
        Reminds me of that moronic self-awarenessFAIL video he shat out a few years back. Y'know, the one with the dramatic music, presenting the Battle of "A combat veteran" versus, well, you can guess.
        What a DUMBFUCK.

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    2. ...the General who keeps his/her men safe and his/her own ass out of as much mayhem as he/she can while still getting the mission accomplished.

      This^^^

      Shit happens in war, anyone near the front can get injured; but a good leader is the one who accomplishes the most with the least losses.

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  3. Remember when it looked like Shakey FINALLY got the idea to move on and just be an unread political pundit? He just can't quit you.

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  4. "His craggy face carries the scars of many battles. "

    "His blotchy and puffy face carries the scars of many bottles" more like.

    A warrior? Chairborn Ranger maybe on his best day .

    http://soldiersystems.net/blog1/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Main_Chairborne_2048x2048.jpg

    He was a military goldbrick that shirked regular duty all the time through "injuries" that were definitely not combat related; claimed ribbons he never earned; and flat out lied about his service and what he actually did.

    He would have been fragged within the 1st day by his fellow troops if he had somehow ever made it into combat.

    He lived a miserable nothing life and when he shuffles off this mortal coil he won't have enough friends and family to carry the casket. They'll just grab it with the forklift and toss it in the oven. Hope there isn't an explosion because of the grease fire that results.

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    1. I wrote a cadence about the "Chairborne Rangers" as a parody of the original Airborne Ranger cadence. We used to sing it when running PT past the 'leg' barracks. We loved it. They hated it. Meh, at least the legs were serving with honor which is more then can be said for old Stolen Valor.

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    2. They wouldnt have fragged him. He'd just have climbed a few more ladders with his face.

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  5. Dumbfuck's claims about capturing the picture taker on security cams is hilarious.
    Violates the first rule of CCTV, "the camera is never pointed at what's going on."
    And I'm so sure that nun run seniors home has just a crackerjack setup.
    Try being more realistic next time Dumbfuck. It'll give you some semblance of credibility. I might buy it if you had claimed street camera footage that matched the time stamp of a local camera that caught just a glimpse. All this nonsense? Just more PLM.

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    1. Not long after he moved into the welfare hovel, DUMBFUCK very helpfully gave us all a guided tour of his building and the lobby in particular. One thing that should have jumped out to anyone who was paying attention was the lack of a security desk.

      It seems highly unlikely that a building would have an intricate CCTV system if there's no one there to monitor it.

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      1. Oh, yes, the "Hi, burglars! Look at our security arrangements!" video we all tried to tell him was an abysmal idea.

        Phone, train.

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      2. Funny how DUMBF5CK never gets the point that his oversharing will have consequences later.

        Like exposing-his-lies-consequences.

        Oopsie!

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      1. If he had anything on the alleged vehicle we would have seen only the parts of it that supposedly support his story with all the rest left out. He has never...never put out a clean and complete copy of anything that supports what he says. The most direct and simple reason for this is that he has never told the truth.

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    1. From the article:

      "The ‘Red Spot Technique’ created and experimented by Gordon Gallup[6] studies self-awareness in animals (primates). Toivanen says on a study done on perceptual self-awareness, "The attribution of self-perception to animals is based on a distinction between the experiential awareness of the soul and the intellectual understanding of its essence, a distinction postulated."[7] In this technique, a red odorless spot is placed on an anesthetized primate’s forehead. The spot is placed on the forehead so that it can only be seen through a mirror. Once the individual awakens, independent movements toward the spot after seeing their reflection in a mirror are observed. During the Red Spot Technique, after looking in the mirror, chimpanzees used their fingers to touch the red dot that was on their forehead and after touching the red dot they would even smell their fingertips.[8] "Animals that can recognize themselves in mirrors can conceive of themselves," says Gallup. Another prime example are elephants. Three elephants were exposed to large mirrors where experimenters studied the reaction when they saw their reflection. These elephants were given the "litmus mark test" in order to see whether they were aware of what they were looking at. This visible mark was applied on the elephants and the researchers reported a large progress with self-awareness. The elephants shared this success rate with other animals such as monkeys and dolphins.[9]"

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        1. I understand there are veterinarians who will make house calls and, um, deliver...

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      1. Found through this article.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intelligence

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  6. 3:00 in if you're impatient for the mirror challenge ...

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdEMu68a7nY&w=560&h=315]

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