The DUMBFUCK School of Journalistic Ethics Sez…

A responsible journalist doesn’t make the decision for the reader that the person named in the complaint was, in fact, a victim of stalking and harassment. I know Hoge has trouble with the concept of NOT being omnipotent, but he is not the decider of fact. That will be up to a judge.

Now obviously, this is a specific case, rendered in a certain level of detail, carefully calculated to falsely make make one party look like a bad guy, and the giant-spongy-penis-shaped-headed, incompetent fake journalist painted as the intrepid hero, which is how all malignant narcissistic sociopaths see themselves.

SWIDT? (yes, I know you do.)

But in a general sense, what the giant-spongy-penis-shaped-headed incompetent fake journalist is trying to say is that a responsible journalist is obligated to publish all the dirty facts of a story, to not be the person who decides which fact fits a narrative and which doesn’t, to simply present all the facts of a matter and let the reader decide the truth.

So, to take this DUMBFUCK principle of journalistic ethics and visit another aspect of a hypothetical story, it would be incumbent upon me as a DUMBFUCK journalist to report the absolute fact that there is a particular player in this tale who has spent a significant amount of time incarcerated in federal prison. And it further behooves me to report the fact that he claims to be the father of two children.  Likewise, as a student of the DUMBFUCK School of Ethical Journalism, I cannot shoulder the responsibility of deciding that my readers have no right to know the fact that this federal convict’s elder daughter was born just about six months after his release from custody from a penal institution that does not allow conjugal visitation.

If I were to learns such scandalous, immaterial and impertinent – yet completely true – facts in the course of my investigation into this hypothetical story of a man convicted of bombing a hypothetical small town well-known for its hypothetical 500  mile auto race on Memorial Day weekend, I would be ethically obligated NOT TO PROTECT the people involved in the story.  Instead, I MUST tell my readers about it, if I’m a DUMBFUCK journalist.

But I’m not a DUMBFUCK journalist.  I’m a regular, reasonable journalist. So I would never include such hypothetical garbage in an actual story.  Because it would be unethical and wrong.  In fact, I would almost surely overcompensate and tell me readers not to engage in such scandalous speculation.

Don’t engage in such scandalous speculation.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

12 thoughts on “The DUMBFUCK School of Journalistic Ethics Sez…”

  1. You didn't mention whether a depraved DUMBF5CK jerkoliar would be obligated to illustrate its malicious missives.

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    1. But, but, but... Rock & Roll Star! But, but, but... the next Taylor Swift!

      *insert eyerolls and hysterical laughter here*

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        1. If your parent is a sociopathic/psychopathic narcissist, you are going to have a bad time. No reason to pile on that misfortune. Seriously.

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        2. Could someone check my white hat? I read that gag and my eyebrows didn't even go up.

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