I went into a Half Price Books the other day. I asked the lady at the register where the Self Help section was.

She gave me a disappointed look and said, “Sir, wouldn’t that defeat the whole purpose?”


Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

6 thoughts on “Shopping”

  1. The really sad bit is I've seen something like this in real life. I was in the opera chorus the year UI put on Boris Godunov. The stage directions looked like mapping out D-Day, given that we had over 100 people on stage at various points in the production. One of the other female chorus members had never seen a set of charts like that and was having trouble reading hers. When she asked for help and I started to explain, one of the other altos sniped at me not to do it because first girl would never learn if I helped!
    I can't remember, but I hope I had the presence of mind to suggest that she'd never learn if no one ever taught her.

    1. "Oh! Taught yourself to read/walk/drive/balance a checkbook/be a screaming BITCH all by yourself, did ya?"

      1. Pretty much. I seem to recall "don't help her!" girl was one of those delightful sorts who knew everything better than the professor because she was "important" (one of the first sightings of the "special snowflake" in the wild I guess - this was the mid '80s). I seem to recall the opera's director actually gave her a very public dressing down at one point later in the production. It didn't really have much effect on her, but the rest of us enjoyed it.


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