The Bells of St. Stupid

I saw a comment at The Artisan Craft Blog and thought a Fisking was in order:


You know what “Royal Jelly” is, don’t you? It’s a food the worker bees make for the Queen to consume.

That’s nice. But when a pervert like you uses the term, everyone immediately arrives at the worst possible connotation, and LULZ ensue. 

I do not “demand no contact.”

You mean “I do not ‘demand no contact’ ANY MORE,” don’t you?  I think that’s what you mean, now that the people of whom you have “demanded no contact” take your demands as seriously as you do those of others. 

Folks should feel free to write and disagree. I’m just not going to take any more filthy representations of my late wife or vile and vulgar defamation about my life sitting down.

I forget…are you “hale and hearty 20 years to live” DUMBFUCK today, or “permanently wheelchair-bound going to die next week” DUMBFUCK? It’s a chore keeping track sometimes.

Again, folks have the right to pen whatever mistruths they care to peddle on their blogs. I am not interesting in following through with any lawsuits.

I can understand that…The Bells of St. Stupid are hard to unring, amirite?

I am getting older and PD is taking its toll. (Can you think of anything more ironic than suddenly learning you are lactose intolerant while living in “America’s Dairyland?”)

So you no longer want someone to Feed You Cheese?  What a shame.

The other sexual references you refer to are a product of your imagination, sir, not mine.

Objection – assumes facts not in evidence, particularly that you have an imagination.

I could have said one more bullet in the gun, one more missile in the silo,

(firing blanks, no doubt)

one more rock in the bushel basket,

(or noggin)

whatever metaphor one would care to use.

Let’s go back to the “do not contact me” demand. Not what I am asking for.

Of course not.  It’s not a request you have ever felt bound to agree to, so why expect anyone else to?  Gosh, you seem to be learning something in your dotage.  This may be a red letter day!

I am asking that contact be kept on a civil basis.

Like you have done?  The Bells of St. Stupid cannot be unrung.

I know Gail is dead. She has been for 14 months. This fact never escapes my notice.

Nor anyone else’s, the way you wear it like a hairshirt.

I am not a drunk, and if I were it would not be from Johnny Walker Red.

Well, you seem to learn some things, but not others.  Try to learn to ask yourself “Is there any way that this could be used to make fun of me if I post it?” And if the answer is yes (BIG HINT – the answer is ALWAYS YES), don’t post it.  Speaking of Post-Its, maybe you could stick one on your monitor with that question, to remind you.

I still believe the court had no authority to order me to stop @mentioning Hoge. But I’m not fighting that battle any more.

You never ACTUALLY did fight that battle, DUMBFUCK.  You just pretended you were in the right and declared victory.  You were neither right nor victorious.

None of my lawsuits had the intent of “shutting people up.”

You’re right there.  Shutting People Up has been the intent of every demand you have ever made of someone to moderate their comments to your liking, to remove blog posts or your sack less and futile threats to shut down entire blogs altogether in the face of threatened or actual litigation.

There is a difference between free speech and defamatory speech. I have the right to hold people accountable for untrue, defamatory comments. As do you. As does everyone.

No, you have the right to try.  It’s a right you have frequently attempted to exercise, and NOT ONCE successfully.

Why is it necessary to document my “silliness”?

Three reasons.  First and foremost, it’s FUN. Second, when you are focused on people who are having a good time pointing/laughing/mocking the hell out of you and “documenting your silliness,” you are not focused on finding and harassing new victims. Third, when you do find and begin harassing new victims, the long historical record of your impotent threats (excuse me…promises!) and harassment is preserved so those new victims will know what a weeping sand-filled pussy you truly are and will be encouraged to properly pursue restraining orders against your cyberstalking self.

When I take a look at Hoge’s blog, I get called out for “Logins” even when those logins happened during hours when I was sound asleep.

If you are offended by anything you read here, I might suggest that you not visit here again. If you do, and are offended again, that will be your fault… not mine.

Sarah Palmer reserves the right unto herself to distort things I’ve written to suit her preconceived notions. (Really, kiddie stalker? When did I stalk the kid?)

If you are offended by anything you read here, I might suggest that you not visit here again. If you do, and are offended again, that will be your fault… not mine.

There are thousands of blogs online written by far more disconnected and dangerous individuals than your humble correspondent.

But those individuals have never tried to dox any of us, then rationalize their ringing of The Bells of St. Stupid 

But a few of you have noted that the mention of my name means readers, and that could lead to bumps in the donation widgets.

If you are offended by anything you read here, I might suggest that you not visit here again. If you do, and are offended again, that will be your fault… not mine.

I look at a person’s blog, that’s stalking?

If you truly believe that this blog is run by a person whom you are prohibited by a valid court order from monitoring, observing or surveilling…

YES, YOU DUMBFUCK!!

On the other hand, if you don’t truly believe that, and you have merely filed multiple lawsuits against that person under false pretenses, then no.

BUT WHICH IS WORSE?

Those of us educated in logic call such a situation “Caught on the horns of a dilemma.”  You could look it up.

And again, if you are offended by anything you read here, I might suggest that you not visit here again. If you do, and are offended again, that will be your fault… not mine.

The Hoggypot blog shows the lengths many of you went to in order to track my every move, my every thought, your plans to cause me emotional distress…

If you are offended by anything you read here, I might suggest that you not visit here again. If you do, and are offended again, that will be your fault… not mine.

Oh, and as far as “tracking your every thought…”

Stock up.

I’ve changed blog locations numerous times in the hopes that people would lose track of me and leave me alone. But that is too much to ask, I guess.

Changing blog locations while continuing to monitor, observe and surveil blogs of people you claim you only wish would leave you alone so you can continue to write about them, only without the consequences of criticism, ridicule, pointage, laughery, mockification and BUTTHURT (none of which are torts, by the way).  What is that noise?

It’s the Bells of St. Stupid, ringing once more!  But seriously… 

If you are offended by anything you read here, I might suggest that you not visit here again. If you do, and are offended again, that will be your fault… not mine.

So, all I am saying is this, Dave.

I have a legal weapon that I have not used.

Well, if you wield it with the same aptitude with which you have other legal weapons (LOLSuits.  Lots and lots of LOLSuits) I’m sure we will all soon be shaking in our Buster Browns.

As long as people keep their filth inside their own blogs and not in my comment section, or on my Twitter timeline, or on my Facebook account, folks will have nothing to worry about.

Remember, this is all INSIDE MY BLOG.  But if you want to play Quasimodo over at the Church of St. Stupid, THAT WILL BE YOUR FAULT… NOT MINE.

Unless of course, some Kiwi Farmer or LOLCOW chaser decides to poke you for LULZ simply because you demanded it cease (it’s what they do, you know, and the Bells of St. Stupid can never unring), and you in your infinite Billogic decide that the only possibly person who could have done it is your own personal Emmanuel Goldstein.  And then God Help THAT GUY!!

The next time someone sends me a tub of horse shit, a shit-scented candle, a jail uniform, a photo of a woman being raped post-autopsy with my face superimposed into the photo indicating my support of such activities… I will use that weapon made available to me by the state of Wisconsin.

I have it on the very good authority that the candle was not shit-scented, and it was delivered about 2 months before you say it was, you lying piece of shit.

Ask yourself how you would feel if your wife, kids, students, family stumbled across an Encyclopedia Dramatica page that claimed you ass raped your late wife in an outhouse?

Don’t have to.  I have not amassed an internet history of thoughtless stupidity that would garner the interest of such folks.  The Bells of St. Stupid echo FOREVER…

I think an honest appraisal of the harm I’ve done — the ACTUAL harm I’ve done — wouldn’t even tip the scales when measured against the real and permanent harm done to me and to people who loved Gail almost as much as I did.

Are you including self-inflicted harm in that appraisal?  Because when it comes to making you look like a idiot, you’re a savant.

You’ve all come down on the conclusion that any indignity done to me or my family is justified… because. Just, because.

Wrong. Supposed indignities done to you are responsive.  Families are off-limits, remember? Except when it suits you…because. Just, because.  But The Bells of St. Stupid, once you ring them, toll on whether you wish it or not.  And if families are off-limits until it no longer suits you FOR WHATEVER REASON…then families are off-limits until it no longer suits me.

FOR WHATEVER REASON.  

You don’t feel the need to clear it with the families you attack.  Why should I?  If your reasons are good enough for you…mine are good enough for me.  And if you don’t like it, well…

If you are offended by anything you read here, I might suggest that you not visit here again. If you do, and are offended again, that will be your fault… not mine.

The next time someone crosses the line from THEIR world into MINE with THAT kind of filth? They will not like what happens.

That right there was a first rate example of “Is there any way that this could be used to make fun of me if I post it?” And if the answer is yes (BIG HINT – the answer is ALWAYS YES), don’t post it.

But let’s be clear… I am not demanding “no contact.” Help yourself. But be adults about it.

Great!  There’s good news for you – the only way you’ll stop hearing the ceaseless pealing of The Bells of St. Stupid is to stop looking for them.  But we all know that will never happen.  

Impulse control issues.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

13 thoughts on “The Bells of St. Stupid”

  1. Funny he doesn't mention violating the hatch act, playing with filthy comments online while on government time, also he fails to mention that he has been accused almost ten years ago with touching a child on xmfan.com. He doesn't mention threatening people constantly and wanting to know their real names so he could harass them.

    All of this years, YEARS before he heard of John Hoge or Brett Kimberlin.

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  2. Isn't it...... Queer that the World's Stupidest Man™ demands of others what for years he has been refusing to give to others? Seriously, if he can't see the flaw in his logic he's even stupider and less self aware that I thought.

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  3. I will be addressing this comment from Bill at my leisure. After I recover from war. Sunday. Maybe. Mead. Omg the mead. Ahhhhhh!

    I doubt he will like what I have to say. But I'm keeping it on my blog, of course.

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    1. It really isn't what you say on your blog that he doesn't like, it's the fact that you have a blog at all the rubs his sand-filled mangina raw.

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    2. Not that you need any assistance, Ash... however, here are a few of my thoughts on the subject:

      The Deranged Cyberstalker BILL SCHMALFELDT wrote:
      "The next time someone sends me a tub of horse shit, a shit-scented candle, a jail uniform, a photo of a woman being raped post-autopsy with my face superimposed into the photo indicating my support of such activities… I will use that weapon made available to me by the state of Wisconsin."

      The Lying Liar of all Liars may want to think VERY long and VERY hard before he pulls the trigger on that "Wisconsin Weapon" he keeps blathering on about... as the state of Wisconsin will IMMEDIATELY be made aware of the following VERY provable facts:

      (1) The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt HIMSELF admitted that HE sent the "tub of horse shit" to HIMSELF.

      "Paul Krendler (read: BILL SCHMALFELDT) and Hoge made money hand over fist. And mailing the horse poop? Stroke of genius."

      PROOF: https://archive.is/xpRSl

      The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt also lied in an email (it's in the vault!) to law enforcement claiming the "tub of horse shit" made him "fall down -- go boom" and injure himself. He eventually followed up with law enforcement (it's in the vault!) and admitted he had lied because "he was confused."

      The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt also claimed he made his "beloved" open the "tub of horse shit" because his Parkinson's Disease Stage ELEVENTY!!1!!1! hands (that he uses EVERYDAY to NON-STOP pound away on his sticky keyboard) would not allow him to open the package himself (Wow! What a guy! What a great, loving, and devoted husband!). And, then he claimed that upon opening the "tub of horse shit" – his "beloved" vomited.

      Question: Just who exactly is opening all of the packages he receives at his Nunnery apartment from all of the online ordering he participates in now that his "beloved" is no longer around to do it for him?

      Lies. All lies.

      (2) The candle was NOT shit-scented. Bill Schmalfeldt is a liar. And, he also lied about when he received it. Yes... there is proof. And, an archived YouTube video regarding the "shit-scented" candle, courtesy of the lying liar Bill Schmalfeldt, is also in the vault.

      (3) Based on his history... chances that the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt sent the jail uniform to HIMSELF are VERY good.

      (4) The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt HIMSELF offered to take a picture of his "beloved's" corpse before the Anatomical Gifts folks arrived at the Showplace Tincasa to pick up her dead body, AND he offered to share the corpse photo on "Billy Sez."

      Necrophilia, anyone?!

      Furthermore... prior to his "beloved's" death, the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt ACTUALLY DID take a half-dead photo of his "beloved" in a hospital bed during her very last days on Earth, and he ACTUALLY DID email that photo to a vast number of individuals.

      Again -- based on his history... chances that the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt HIMSELF sent the vile necrophilia picture he continues to whine and bitch about to HIMSELF are VERY good.

      The ONLY person who continues to carry on about "Necrophilia" is the Deranged Cyberstalker BILL SCHMALFELDT HIMSELF.

      (5) Before a single Zombie Lickspittle had ever even heard of the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt... he was online instructing and encouraging others to mail their bowel movements.

      PROOF: http://i.imgur.com/y2McvA2.jpg

      ALL of this undeniable PROOF has been gathered and put into a report. Again... if BILL SCHMALFELDT wants to play his stupid "war" games and attempt to use some weapon he claims he has at his disposal... the aforementioned report will be forwarded to the powers-that-be in Wisconsin post haste.

      This is not a threat. THIS is a PROMISE.

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  4. Was he in some kind of JWR blackout moment when he wrote that?

    Or was it some kind of attempt to pull on the heart strings of the Zombies? If it was he missed it by a few million miles.

    His actions speak a hell of a lot louder than his works, and his past actions shout that he is a liar, a failed journalist, a failed father and husband that wants to pee on children!

    If he truly wants to be left alone, he should totally remove himself from internet contact with anyone that knows him.

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  5. bwahahahaha

    "...The Bells of St. Stupid are hard to unring, amirite? ..."

    bwahahahahaha

    The whole thing is great, and more proof that our HZIC truly is THE Prince of Parody (may DONATIONS and FUN be always upon him)!

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  6. When he wrote the comment at the craft blog, I decided not to fisk him. I saved myself some time. Assuming he paid attention to my silence, and your logical mockery...we made exactly the same impact. The odd loop we're in is based upon the idea that he blocks out the things which are too painful to see. Krendler being right is WAY too painful to see. Same with the rest of us.

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