Hypothetical For The House Lawyer-Type Zombies

Simple question:  if someone (say, O.J. Simpson) is charged with a crime (say, a double murder), and the case goes to trial, and the defendant is acquitted…does that defendant have a criminal record?

Just curious how this hypothetical situation might apply to other folks who may have been in similar (yet less perilous) situations.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

13 thoughts on “Hypothetical For The House Lawyer-Type Zombies”

  1. This is a rhetorical question, right? One that the dumbfuck doesn't understand?

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    1. Much shorter -- probably blank -- list of what self-humiliating and self-described Happy My Wife Died woo hoo TheMerryWidower does understand.

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  2. IANAL, but, no, not a "criminal record," as commonly used. An arrest record, sure.

    However, one doesn't need to be a convicted criminal to be accurately described as "criminal." Just like one can be accurately described as a pornographer, even if one hasn't been convicted of producing, say, child pornography.

    "Criminal" is one of those words that, since it functions as either a noun or an adjective, can be applied usefully in a number of ways.

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    1. I only pretend to be a lawyer when I'm not pretending to be a Right-Wing Enforcer, but yeah, that's exactly how it works. I have an arrest record, sure, 'cause nobody's perfect, but I'm good enough that I have no criminal record.

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    2. So you're saying that if you were to, say, decapitate your ex-wife, that would make you a criminal?

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  3. Almost like how someone can be an adjudicated pedophile without being caught in the act of diddling a minor.

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    1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOnHi7KOxCA
      The follow-up question is especially funny, as well.

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