50% of What Profit?

Since I’m a generous zombie by nature, I’m going to assume that DUMBFUCK purchased a Suzuki Q-Chord from Amazon at the low, low price of $219.99 and was able to avoid shipping charges with Amazon Prime.  The sales tax rate in Milwaukee County is 5.60%, so that would make a total cost of $232.31 door to door.

I’m also going to assume that because it is self-publishing his hot new album, Debut Taint, that DUMBFUCK  probably isn’t tracking its actual labor costs for writing lyrics or “studio time” or production or marketing or graphic design or any of the other actual costs that go into making an album.

In fact, I’m just going to eliminate all costs other than the cost of the Q-Chord, and say that the cost of making this album was that same $232.31.

DUMBFUCK has noted that the price of the album is $9.99 and that a whopping 50% of the profits go to Parkinson’s Reasearch.  This probably means it will pay for a continuing subscription to <a href=”parkyporn.xxx”>parkyporn.xxx</a>, but whatever.

If my math is right, it won’t see any profits until it recoups the cost of the instrument, which won’t be until the 24th album is sold.  And half of that $7.45 in profit, if that unlikely 24th sale takes place, won’t pay for replacement batteries for a Deep Brain Stimulator, let alone buy a tool for other deep places a DUMBFUCK might like to stimulate.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man's Zombie

12 thoughts on “50% of What Profit?”

    1. Does DUMBF5CK's album price of $9.99 include Shipping? (Please note: I did not include "handling.")

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    1. But how do we define "large?"

      It can't be number of followers.

      Perhaps average weight per follower?

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  1. Somehow I remember something from the LAST time he accounted for the things that he published/produced/sold and how much of the "profits" he was able to donate. Something along the lines of he was never able to donate a penny because he was never able to retrieve his costs. Like, not even close.

    Oopsie poopsie.

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    1. I do recall somewhere him posting that he had to spend almost twice as much as he made from it to put out a book. Now there is some smart business like thinking. The same type of thinking that turns a "almost" 6 figure job into living in a showplace tincasa and allowing your beloved to be sued for not paying her bills.

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  2. A search for schmalfeldt on Vimeo may produce an interesting result. That is, if it is still posted.

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    1. People write "LOL" all the time, this time I fricken mean it. Totes LOL!

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