— Purloined Parodies (@PurloinedParody) June 6, 2016
“If the pits of hell (small ‘h’) gaped open that early in the morning and the streets were filled with howling demons, I’d put my pillow over my head and sleep until 9am…”
At which time the DUMBFUCK would get up, put on fresh Depends, change the rubber sheets on the bed, mop up the floor, toss some kibble to the Cub Scout chained in the closet, nutshuffle over to the computer to run its morning BUTTHURT check and commence the daily monkeydancing.
And who in God’s name puts mayonnaise on cheddarwurst, anyway? If anybody learned of this, DUMBFUCK would get run out of Wisconsin on a rail!