Updates on PACER

According to  the most recent additions to the LOLSuit VI docket on PACER, the Dreadful pro se DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt filed a rather ill-advised motion requesting leave to file a Second Amended Complaint.

In it, he has chosen to explain that he will be replacing every last John and Jane Doe defendant with…

(drumroll, please!)

Patrick Grady.

But!  According to local rule 15(b),

A motion to amend a pleading must state specifically what changes are sought by the proposed amendments. The proposed amended pleading must be filed as an attachment to the motion to amend.

I don’t see any amended pleading there, do you?  No.  I didn’t think so.

So immediately (and I mean ONE FUCKING DAY!) after being ordered to

  1. Stop filing any pleadings until the motion to dismiss is ruled upon, and
  2. Follow the local rules,

DUMBFUCK not only shoots himself in the foot, he reloads and shoots himself again for a beautiful two-fer of legal geniusness and propriety!

Knowing of his pissy and arrogant blog output from Friday night, and knowing that he emails his pleadings to the Worst (and Most Obtuse) Lawyer in the World, I’ll bet I know the general substance of the conversation that left DUMBFUCK so grumpy.

Perhaps Aaron obtusely pointed out both his errors. I wouldn’t have been so kind.  I might have told him he’d violated the local rules, but I would have made him go figure out for himself where he stupidly golf-cleated his jimmies this time. I think Aaron is more considerate than I am.

In any case, DUMBFUCK got his bell rung sufficiently to figure out how badly he was about to fuck up.

Again.

So he withdrew:

Because he’s obtuse. And stupid. And a DUMBFUCK.

But I repeat myself.

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Author: Paul Krendler

The Thinking Man’s Zombie

37 thoughts on “Updates on PACER”

  1. Actually, he only moved to withdraw. Judge Joseph doesn't have to rant the motion, preferring instead to call the Diminished Capacity Kid down to courthouse, call him a drunken DUMBFUCK, and ask why he shouldn't be found in contempt.

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    1. Typo or prescient? There's no doubt you're correct, and I'm greatly looking forward to the judge's rant!

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  2. Sounds like he needs "30 days in the hole" so Teh Blab can "get his mind right"....

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  3. What're those words I'm thinking of...? Something of <something...?

    Oh, yeah: "contempt" and "court."

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  4. Now he's managed to convince the Judge that she should go ahead and dismiss with prejudice. Once that happens, Aaron will now be able to successfully move for attorney fees that could go upwards of a few thousand dollars, which means that Bill will have to delay putting the racing kit on the scooty puff.

    Why Bill couldn't you just leave well enough alone? You were given additional rope, which should have been the signal to just sit and see how things went. Instead, you decided to head for the nearest ledge, one that apparently has a 1000 foot drop. I guess if you're going to go out in a blaze of glory, this is probably the best way.. except it's not glory; it's a Firestorm of Dumbfuck.

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    1. Schmalfeldt has the sociopath's obsession with Getting the Last Word. He can't imagine the rules might actually apply to him.

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        1. What's funny though, is that a typical sociopath would be much smoother with a lie or an excuse when caught out so obviously in a mistake this way. DUMBFUCK fumbles through it like the proverbial bull in a china shop.

          If he had a lick of sense, his walls would be mirrored (ew!) and he would have "impulse control issues" tattooed in reverse on his billboard of a forehead.

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  5. AW shouldn't ever correspond with BS except to send him court papers. Blackout. No contact. No cautions, no advice, no info, no nothing.

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    1. I believe AW’s early, good faith efforts with Bill were well worth-while. He gave Bill excellent advice, while reminding him that while he was a lawyer he was not _Bill’s_ lawyer, and suggesting Bill consult a lawyer of his own.

      [REDACTED - DO NOT EDUCATE THE MONKEY. -PK]

      I defer to his opinion as to what is best for his clients.

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      1. Wow.

        I've never had [REDACTED - DO NOT EDUCATE THE MONKEY. -PK] as something I haven't added myself as sarcasm.

        My apologies, Paul.

        So you have to wonder, Bill, am I lying now or was I lying then?

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  6. "...which plaitiff will file as it contains information this honorable court will need to clear the waters and come to a decision..."

    If you are asking the judge to let you clear the waters on your own complaint, AFTER she just granted you your "freebie" amended complaint (the FAC), I'd say the odds are not too good for you and you are provably probably going to FAIL.

    why don't we do some more of this, eh?

    DF: I file a motion for leave to call opposing counsel OBTUSE!
    DF: I file a motion to withdraw my motion for leave to call opposing counsel OBTUSE!
    DF: I file a motion to withdraw my first motion to withdraw my motion for leave to call opposing counsel OBTUSE!

    Judge: STOP!@ Are you really that stooooopid??

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    1. Kyle

      You had best scoot into the future and stay there. I am pretty sure that accusing someone of heresy is defamation per se.

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        1. Clearly you have not been following the news about criminal investigations of those questioning global warming.

          Three hundred years ago, criminal investigation into the exact nature of the trinity; now criminal investigation into the reliability and interpretation of data on global temperature.

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        2. I have confidence I shall be prosecuted for refusing to abandon even one teaching of the Orthodox faith in favor of politics. Off to the gulag I am prepared to go ... most assuredly to die there.

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    2. Nailed it Kyle! In conversation with Bill, he displays a total ignorance of his soi-disant Catholic faith. He believes his own will controls all ... thus he really is a pelagianist, denying that God's grace exists and that all is controlled by his own mortal will.

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  7. Movant's previous motion was filed in ignorance of this court's order not to file motions. Now that movant is aware of said order prohibiting motions, movant files this motion to withdraw its previous motion and to ask for the same thing it asked for in the motion being withdrawn.

    Filed this day by DUMBFUCK

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    1. Maybe you should write his briefs. You seem to do it so much more succinctly and with more clarity.

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  8. One of the dumbest things I have seen (recently) in litigation involved a person who submitted a Motion For Summary Judgement in a case involving my organization. Fundamental to the MSJ was a document Plaintiff's attorney referred to as 'Exhibit W'. There was no exhibit W, never entered. He was referring to a document on the Internet with that marking.

    Schmalfeldt should hire that guy, he'd do a better job.

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  9. As Forrest Gump said: "Obtuse is as Obtuse does"
    And Billy again ,for the umpteenth time, demonstrates, not just to the Judge, but the WORLD, that he is Obtuse!

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    1. Except Forrest Schmalt would say "Life is like a box of these things I pull out of my @$$. Ya never know how bad it's going to stink."

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      1. "Schmalfeldt is not like a box of chocolates. You always know what you gonna get."

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        1. Billy Sez: "Life is like a ScooterPuff.... uh I don't remember why, but I like my ScooterPuff! and Johnny Walker Red!!!"

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        2. "Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it."

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        3. Bill Schmalfeldt: "Life is like a cub scout. You got to [self-REDACTED for taste] it for it to make you [self-REDACTED for taste]."

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  10. I happen to be blessed with a full grown Autistic son. He walks, he talks, he is potty trained, he reads, he writes, he is capable of holding on to a job. He is not a moron, unlike the Cabin Boy.

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